AIBU to ask for your SIL horror stories?

[heftydumpling]

...just so I can have some company and a moan? Have n/c for this

My SIL is slowly turning into a nightmare. She is DH's sister, and the only girl of the extended family. She has one DD, aged 3, who is very much petted by all the family.

I used to get on well with SIL until DH and I announced our engagement almost 2 years ago. Since then her behaviour towards me has become increasingly strange. We got married in July and are not planning on TTC for another few years, however SIL is constantly making enquiries after the 'honeymoon baby' she seems to think we are trying for. This would be irritating enough, but the comments are made in quite an aggressive, sneering manner- it's hard to describe, and I don't think I am being over sensitive

She seems to 'fall out' with me constantly- yet i don't even know when it has happened! A few days ago we were all at PILs, and she was very off with me, and made lots of loud remarks about our wedding photos, which we have only just got back, 'when are we going to see these amazing photos then' etc. After she left, MIL informed me that SIL was very offended because she was not the first to see the photos

She also was offended that her DD was not asked to be a flower girl. Her DD is a bit of a handful, who had to be taken out during the ceremony as she was shouting as we were speaking our vows, and trying to run up to us at the altar.

I just think it's a shame she's such a PITA because the rest of the family are lovely. DH cousin thinks that SIL is very jealous of me, but I have no idea why? I've only tried to be nice to her- I have one brother and always wanted a sister, and had initially thought it would be lovely to be close to a SIL.

There has been other things too which I don't want to get into, as it would be recognisable to anyone reading, but it has got to the point where I do not enjoy being in the same company as her and I am fed up of her nasty comments.

The thing is, i think it will become ten times worse when we do have a baby

[EldritchCleavage]

And the worst bit is that when PILs are dead and gone, we will inherit her because she can't be trusted to run her own affairs

In your place I would be letting SIL know in no uncertain terms that you will NOT be stepping in in the future. Unless there is some deep-seated issue (personality disorder etc, in which case, can't she get treatment?) she can behave like this because she knows she's got a great big family safety net.

[NumberTwoDue]

Eldritch you've hit the nail on the head - but DP would never abandon her and I can't ask him to. We both agree that things will be very different when we're running the show, so to speak. Her parents definitely (albeit with the best of intentions) facilitate the behaviour so I think she'll get a shock as and when. I do feel like I have to take DP's lead with it and support him (very grudgingly).

[Toxicshmoxic]

Are problem SILS the spoilt ones then, who have been favoured over their DB's, and no1 then get jealous and horrid when they meet someone and someone who recognises what's going on!

[mrstigs]

I don't speak to my brother or his wife, as they are encouraging my mother to make up vile things about me and stopped my entire family from speaking to me. These lies have even gone as far as encouraging her to report me for fraud as apparently i broke into her house and stole documents which enabled me to take a large debt on her property. (She's since admitted this isn't true and invented a whole new scenario instead that they are again backing to the hilt)

My sil on my dhs side is an odd one also. She had a massive rant at us when we were a day late with bils birthday card one year. She told dbil to never speak to us again, so they haven't. This was many years ago and my youngest hasn't even met them. People are odd...

[alltoomuchrightnow]

Mine is just a total narcissist. and throws proper tantrums and hissy fits..even in her late 30s. And wonders where her oldest DD gets it from...
She has two sisters and they have two kids each. SIL had three kids for no other reason than to get one up on her sisters. To be the only one to have three. As she was one of three. She said this.. my bro can ill afford 3 but he complied
They live on the other side of the world and she was absolutely vile when i stayed there once (before they had kids) I will never forget it. And my DB being so scared of her he wouldn't stand up to her :-(