AIBU to ask for your SIL horror stories?

[heftydumpling]

...just so I can have some company and a moan? Have n/c for this

My SIL is slowly turning into a nightmare. She is DH's sister, and the only girl of the extended family. She has one DD, aged 3, who is very much petted by all the family.

I used to get on well with SIL until DH and I announced our engagement almost 2 years ago. Since then her behaviour towards me has become increasingly strange. We got married in July and are not planning on TTC for another few years, however SIL is constantly making enquiries after the 'honeymoon baby' she seems to think we are trying for. This would be irritating enough, but the comments are made in quite an aggressive, sneering manner- it's hard to describe, and I don't think I am being over sensitive

She seems to 'fall out' with me constantly- yet i don't even know when it has happened! A few days ago we were all at PILs, and she was very off with me, and made lots of loud remarks about our wedding photos, which we have only just got back, 'when are we going to see these amazing photos then' etc. After she left, MIL informed me that SIL was very offended because she was not the first to see the photos

She also was offended that her DD was not asked to be a flower girl. Her DD is a bit of a handful, who had to be taken out during the ceremony as she was shouting as we were speaking our vows, and trying to run up to us at the altar.

I just think it's a shame she's such a PITA because the rest of the family are lovely. DH cousin thinks that SIL is very jealous of me, but I have no idea why? I've only tried to be nice to her- I have one brother and always wanted a sister, and had initially thought it would be lovely to be close to a SIL.

There has been other things too which I don't want to get into, as it would be recognisable to anyone reading, but it has got to the point where I do not enjoy being in the same company as her and I am fed up of her nasty comments.

The thing is, i think it will become ten times worse when we do have a baby

[alltoomuchrightnow]

Mine is just a total narcissist. and throws proper tantrums and hissy fits..even in her late 30s. And wonders where her oldest DD gets it from...
She has two sisters and they have two kids each. SIL had three kids for no other reason than to get one up on her sisters. To be the only one to have three. As she was one of three. She said this.. my bro can ill afford 3 but he complied
They live on the other side of the world and she was absolutely vile when i stayed there once (before they had kids) I will never forget it. And my DB being so scared of her he wouldn't stand up to her :-(

[mrstigs]

I don't speak to my brother or his wife, as they are encouraging my mother to make up vile things about me and stopped my entire family from speaking to me. These lies have even gone as far as encouraging her to report me for fraud as apparently i broke into her house and stole documents which enabled me to take a large debt on her property. (She's since admitted this isn't true and invented a whole new scenario instead that they are again backing to the hilt)

My sil on my dhs side is an odd one also. She had a massive rant at us when we were a day late with bils birthday card one year. She told dbil to never speak to us again, so they haven't. This was many years ago and my youngest hasn't even met them. People are odd...

[Toxicshmoxic]

Are problem SILS the spoilt ones then, who have been favoured over their DB's, and no1 then get jealous and horrid when they meet someone and someone who recognises what's going on!

[NumberTwoDue]

Eldritch you've hit the nail on the head - but DP would never abandon her and I can't ask him to. We both agree that things will be very different when we're running the show, so to speak. Her parents definitely (albeit with the best of intentions) facilitate the behaviour so I think she'll get a shock as and when. I do feel like I have to take DP's lead with it and support him (very grudgingly).

[EldritchCleavage]

And the worst bit is that when PILs are dead and gone, we will inherit her because she can't be trusted to run her own affairs

In your place I would be letting SIL know in no uncertain terms that you will NOT be stepping in in the future. Unless there is some deep-seated issue (personality disorder etc, in which case, can't she get treatment?) she can behave like this because she knows she's got a great big family safety net.

[ZingWantsCake]

my SIL aspires her daughter to be like Quinoa but no one compares to Quinoa so I'm sure my SIL is deranged

[NumberTwoDue]

SIL is just a drain on anything positive and happy.... When she walks in a room, she sucks the life out of it.

She's 25, been unemployed for about six years now because she has a massive issue with authority (always gets the sack, but nothing is ever her fault - you know the type). Her lovely parents bought a flat for her to live in and are effectively her landlords because she kept getting kicked out of flatshares and rentals (seriously, could t even make it in a bedsit) and she regularly withholds rent from the, "to teach them a lesson" if they disagree on something, even if it's minor. She is mean to both her elderly grandmothers in petty, childish ways (she dodges one of their calls incessantly, but went out of her way to ring her and tell her that me and DP were expecting again before we rang so that poor nana heard the news second hand). She occasionally steals. She sends tacky things to my DD that say "to a darling daughter" even though she has been repeatedly told that it's inappropriate.

And the worst bit is that when PILs are dead and gone, we will inherit her because she can't be trusted to run her own affairs.

Big sigh. Nice to hear we aren't the only one with a train crash relative...

[YouTheCat]

Why?

My sils are both lovely but very different. Reading this has just shown me how lucky I am.

[Trills]

If you want SIL stories then you need Reality.

But YABU to post in AIBU when you just want to share stories and aren't asking whether you are being unreasonable.

[BellEndTent]

Booked me a stripper on my hen party which I expressly asked everyone not to do as DH wouldn't have been happy. Then when I objected told me nonchalantly that she had known him a lot longer than me (true but still) and that he wouldn't care and had been to plenty of strip clubs during our relationship. I saw straight through her and told DH exactly what had happened as soon as we got home rather than let her antics cause an argument. I trust her about as far as I could throw her now though.

[Elektra83]

Wow, these stories make mine seem a little sane. DB's wife is the one with the issues in my life. Nice as pie to my face but constant moaning/digs behind my back, biggest thing was moaning about my wedding last year, why are we doing it etc, moaning about my hen do. At my hen do my friends had written messages to me in a book, all of them are nice except my SIL's which was just downright rude (I imagine she thought it was 'funny')

Comments about my ability (or inability in her eyes) to cook, making similar comments to my sister about how I'm a good reason as to why little sister should learn to cook before moving out of the house. There are a number of comments she makes to my sister who comes and tells me anyway!

What makes me sad is my brother goes along with it, even agreeing with her moaning. We used to be so close (me and brother) but I can't be arsed as I know after they have seen us they will just bitch and moan again!

DH's SIL on the other hand is just lovely though!

[Groovee]

Dh's SIL would like us to be completely out of the picture so MIL just had grandsons. Jealousy of our dd from her as we have a girl and she doesn't.

I often laugh, she landed herself with me as she introduced me to dh!

[picklebumplum]

My SIL is a carbon copy of my MIL...

Nuff said really.

[Bullygirl]

My db's dp is lovely. Lord knows she's a saint for putting up with him.

Db's EXW on the other hand....... bad bad news. She never made any effort to get along with any of us, and we're pretty easy going, and treated my brother terribly. One Christmas, years ago, it was really hot, probably about 40 degrees (Australia). We take it in turns for morning w/ dp's fam & afternoons w/ mine then swap the following year and this year was afternoons at my dm's which sucked as my dm has no A/C at hers, just the ceiling fans, so we were all roasting. Anyway, they pull up into the driveway and exsil just gets out and comes into the house and sits down. Meanwhile db is bringing a mountain of pressies for the whole fam (the Oz lot anyways), as he's coming in with the haul she says, in a very fed-up and nasty tone, I need a glass of wine right now! so he gets it for her then goes back to the car for the food/drinks ect, at which point she starts screaming He forgot the effing ice, it's 40 effing degrees and he's not put effing ice in my drink at which point she turns to my dm and says where the hell did you go wrong?

Also when they got married Firstly she wanted it on the other side of the country so we all had to fly there, no reason, she just fancied it. My dm was making her wedding dress, she made my wedding dress and all my bm dresses and has made loads of wedding/bm and ball dresses in her time, iow, VERY EXPERIENCED!
Exsil decides she wants a hot pink cocktail dress, she hate big puffy white dresses! No problem. My dm is huge on it's the brides day ect.... So, they buy the fabric and all the other stuff you need and start the job. After it's taken several dozen hours to finish (more drama there that I cba typing). She changes her mind and buys a meringue. No drama's right? Her day, her choice. Except she doesn't tell dm, just shows up to the ceremony it a big white dress!
The marriage didn't last a year and she left my db broke as unbeknowst to him she tens of thousands in cc debt so that had to be paid back after settlement on the house leaving him with less than 2K after 5 years together.

[Kamchatka]

My SIL rang me up to tell me about her pregnancy just after I'd had another failed IVF cycle.
"I have something to tell you and it might be quite hard for you to hear..."
Fuck off, I actually wanted my own baby and not yours! Don't patronise me!
She then complained throughout her pregnancy about hyperemesis - which I had had - despite her not having thrown up once. On and on it went "When you have hyperemesis, oh well, you know, don't you?" (father of the baby was a GP, you'd think he'd have had a word).

[ZingWantsCake]

vesta so.sorry to hear about your MIL



..

[VestaCurry]

She thought her Mum (so my mil, who I thought was just lovely) was pretending to be ill and resented helping her by eg getting some shopping each week. When her Mum died of undiagnosed cancer a few months later, it confirmed my first instincts about my SIL ie stroppy, selfish, miserable cow.

[burberryqueen]

mine was so smug about lice - I quote ...
'my child has never had lice because I am clean'
( my own childrens heads were crawling )

[ZingWantsCake]

I realise how incredibly lucky I am

apart from the following story, I get on well with them - and the "middle" one is kind of like a best friend to me!

one of them upset me years ago when she gave away something I lent her, but wanted back.
I explicitly told her I wanted it back and she said of course.

then when she finished with it, she never even asked if I wanted it back or not, just gave it away!
I was very angry and upset about that.
she offered to pay for a replacement of a similar thing, but it was something precious to me and irreplaceable.
turned out irretrievable too.

she had the cheek to lecture me :"you should not have lent it to me in the first place"
well I didn't bloody know you'd give it away, having been told I wanted it back!

I have photos of this item - when I see the photos it still stings, but I learned a lesson.

I never lend anything to anyone, unless I don't mind never seeing it again!

[Tigerbomb]

Crikey - after reading some of the stories on here I am glad I have no relationship with my SILs.

I have 2 - one I've never met (nor the BIL) and the other I haven't seen for 5 years (again not seen the BIL either)

My DH knew they what they were like and dropped all ties with his brothers

[SupermansBigRedPants]

My sister and I share ils, (shacked up with brothers) and one of our sils used to pretend dnephew was her baby when she took him out we only found out when a shopkeeper asked dsis if she was babysitting

Sil has never looked after either of my babies.
because if she tried it with me I would kill her. Kiiiiill her

[EvaBeaversProtege]

My SIL (dh's sister) told me during a heated row that she didn't really think very much of family - that her church family meant more to her than dh (only brother) did.

She'll regret ever saying that to me.

I get on well with one SIL & am able to chat freely with the other three (my brothers' wives).

[FridaKarlov]

Mine is nice, but has very little common sense- she rushes into stuff without thinking all the time. She also has a difficult relationship with my mother in law, they bitch about each other to me all the time. I just want to stay out of it!

[ihatethecold]

My ex's sisters were so nasty and vile that I'm so glad I never have to see them again.

Racist horrible women
I'm mixed race and the shit I had to listen to was grim.

Thankfully I have nice SIL now

[Astralabe]

Wow. For some balance I have to say I live my SILs. I don't have a sister myself, and weirdly it's worked out neither do they - so maybe we've all craved that relationship, but we have a whats app group me, OH's sister, OH's brother's wife and my brother's wife) and its a lifeline. Funny, sympathetic, lovely women.