To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

[WombatCat]

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

No one has said people with disabilities shouldn't be allowed out but there have been many people saying that they feel they shouldn't have to tolerate being around people with a disability. In case you missed them, here they are.

tbf the price of the cinema if I had paid to see a fil for it to be disrupted with squeals, grunts and shouts I would be pretty pissed off too

TBH as NotYo says, given the price of cinema tickets nowadays & the fact that we tend to view it as a treat I'd be just as pissed off with him as I would with a group of noisy teenagers.

I don't think I would have said anything, but if it was really bad I'd have walked out & asked for a refund or a re-schedule.

Sorry, but the cinema is meant to be an escape, not be locked in a room with someone else's problems & stressing out.

Too right the cinema is my special treat and it is very expensive I don't want it spoiling by anyone

Whether he can help it or not is irrelevant - he must know he makes loud, distracting noises, and that therefore he will be deliberately spoiling a film for others if he attends a showing.

It could be argued that sitting in a supposedly quiet place & disturbing people is unsocial. As I said, if it had annoyed me that much I'd ask for refund etc. I don't expect to go to the cinema & have someone making loud & disturbing noises, sorry if that doesn't fit in with what you're willing to accept.

If that means that "special screenings" are shown, then surely that's all for the good?

I Hate these threads, really shows up the self righteous of the world.

Really? You'd rather sit there & seethe?

I'd quite happily do it & come back at a later date.

I'm sorry but this attitude is wrong and needs to be challenged

But why should others people's experiences/enjoyment be ruined?

Ok, it isn't his fault and we all accept and understand that, but why does that mean people shouldn't be allowed to concentrate on and enjoy the film?

I really don't see what the problem is with people saying they would want to come back at another time so they could watch it undisturbed?

I think the problem is Writer that then the cinema might start to have an issue with the people with disabilities (who are as entitled to go to the cinema as anyone else) causing them to lose money.

That's a good point - I doubt that any cinema would actually give the refund based on this scenario anyway. It would be dangerous ground I imagine.....

writer
Most aren't saying they have a problem with someone leaving and returning at another time (a couple are shocked by it but I don't think they see that as unreasonable) personally I think it's the best option for those who really really really are sooo distracted by tics that they would lose enjoyment and make it worth their while to return.
Myself and others are a bit uncomfortable that some think it's ok to segregate and close off though.

Horrendous. Some of the responses here aer maddening and saddening.

As a previous poster has said, with all the slurping, chomping and stink (nachos? seriously?) of some people nose-bagging their way through films, the cinema is hardly a quiet place, but is your life really so badly affected by not having a silent experience of watching fucking Wolverine.

thanks for your replies. I think some people have misunderstood me - the conundrum, to me, is that on the one hand a person with Tourette's should be treated the same as anyone else with regard to attending the cinema, in this instance, (which I totally agree with) but on the other hand they are not the same and therefore the same parameters don't apply (which I also agree with).

I sometimes feel on these threads that I'm not allowed to think that there is a difference, that I'm expected to treat everyone the same but in the knowledge that they aren't.

I also not saying that I would ever speak to someone with Tourette's, I absolutely wouldn't, ever. But, it would disturb me and possibly ruin my viewing; I wouldn't actually do anything about it (and I certainly wouldn't ask for a refund, how ridiculous) other than probably leave and hope to find the money to go another time. A minor inconvenience to me, of course - but I think that those saying that someone shouldn't even, silently and to themselves, find it annoying, are being a bit silly. Whether it's purposeful or not, someone making a noise in the cinema is disturbing others. It's how you choose to deal with that that matters.

MrsO
I can be 99% sure the lad thought long and hard about going to the cinema.
Your reaction is what I would consider normal, it may be a bit of a distraction but nothing major and no fuss needed.
I used to have more verbal tics when I was a nipper and my major one was shouting 'shusssssh please' when told to be quiet (a mimic of school assembly instructions) it rarely crops up now 30 some years later but on the odd occasion (when told by the bloody automated phone things to remain silent to be put through to operator) I tic and shout it.
Now when I was six and doing it every 3 minutes through assembly despite it being hilarious for my little pals I was sent out to stand at the door.

A bit extreme nowadays but it can feel so restricting it's nice to think that people can tolerate a little quirk or two.

MrsO you've got that a bit wrong you don't treat someone exactly the same you make reasonable accommodations and allowances for them to enable them to attend.

considering the lengths Mumsnet is going to to work on the This is My Child campaign, it's a bit fucking rich seeing some of the attitudes on this thread.

I'm really angry

GRRRRRRR

katopotatoe - "but is your life really so badly affected by not having a silent experience of watching fucking Wolverine."

Why do you go to the pictures Kato? Is it for an immersive, larger than life experience that you couldn't achieve in your own home?

Or is it to spend the time listening to other people making noise, pissing you off & ruining the experience for you?

Sorry, I'm tolerant & don't think people should be segregated, but I also don't think it's an unreasonable expectation to go to the cinema & be able to hear the bloody film.

what tweasels said.

Shocking attitudes.

you don't have the right to demand people with disabilities don't enjoy the same things as you do.

Bottom line.

comingalongnicely..so disabled people are allowed in cinema..but only if they are nice quiet acceptable ones?

Disgusting attitude.

Smacks of lovely person who told me I can take my disabled DD to a cafe but not to a quiet place like the theatre.

Very sad that there are still so many selfish attitudes out there.

Not getting further involved on this thread though.

many personal things going on right now and can't be bothered trying to educate the selfish and ignorant yet again, just to receive a ton of abuse.

*Why do you go to the pictures Kato? Is it for an immersive, larger than life experience that you couldn't achieve in your own home?
Or is it to spend the time listening to other people making noise, pissing you off & ruining the experience for you? *

Because I enjoy a larger than life cinema experience without the world pissing me off, I got a big screen tv, a foxtel (Aussie version of pay tv) subscription and a popcorn maker.

But, I've never once been disturbed in the cinema by someone with a disability though. Arseholes that can't possibly be disconnected from their mobile phones for two hours, teenagers who think that it's ok to talk through the movie, people who don't read the book first asking their companion for an explanation of what is happening, people who can't survive two hours without food in crinkly packets and entitled parents who refuse to take crying babies outside have all ruined my cinema experiences in the past. Never someone with a disability.

"Why do you go to the pictures Kato? Is it for an immersive, larger than life experience that you couldn't achieve in your own home"

perhaps the man with Tourettes would also like this experience.

Except some would say he is not allowed.

ugh.

I hate threads like this, makes me realise how much it's ok to fucking hate the disabled ... Would write disabled people but don't think that's what alot mean, don't want to think of disabled as actual people who are the same as you.

I particularly love the fact that people are ignoring the OP who said the guy with Tourette's wasn't actually disturbing her from watching the film, but the shouting man was.

Cue majority piling in to ignore problem with angry man and all agree how disgusting it is that anyone with a disability should be allowed in just in case they might disturb more than the kids throwing popcorn, the couples making out, the people going in and out...

Way to go. Hope you are proud of yourselves. Except of course you are proud of yourselves aren't you... Wrapped up in your armour of entitlement and 'I deserve it' thinking.
Dong know why I bothered writing actually.

Sorry Fanjo, I've already said that if it was an issue I'd ask for a re-schedule, not sure why you think I should sit somewhere I'd obviously be unhappy & uncomfortable?

If you thought that was a "disgusting attitude" you'll hate this one - it's no t my problem, I go to the cinema as a rare treat & don't want it ruined by someone else's problem.

I'd work round it by leaving - I wouldn't be rude & abusive to the person, but I would expect the cinema to reimburse me as they're responsible for ensuring I can watch & hear the film.

comingalong..well, until you change the law against Disability Discrimination it IS your problem.

my heart bleeds for you with the struggle you must have knowing that maybe once in 10 years you might have a cinema outing ruined by someone with a disability.

How do you cope with that struggle.

It's all hypothetical anyway. For what it's worth OP YANBU - the man was out of order & rude.

utter selfishness.

am off out..enjoy

I cope very well thanks Fanjo, sleep like the proverbial baby. Thanks for asking though.

i'm sure you do, as you have such wonderful self esteem.