To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

[WombatCat]

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

Hawkmoon that is the same story. I mentioned the lady had severe learning disabilities.

Or would it be ok for them to be so rude and drop the dirty looks and tuts if the lady hadn't been visibly disabled?

I never put myself in social situations where my disability could negatively impact on others - but that's just me. I adapt my life and live within my own restrictions. People 'know' their own disabilities and what activities they can and can't do or what they can't and can't tolerate and so they have the right do whatever they like.

If one person with Tourettes chooses not to go to the cinema because he doesn't want to ruin anyone else's experiences then that's his choice to make. If another person chooses to go with the mindset of, "I'll leave if I feel I'm being too disruptive" then that's fine too. Another person with Tourettes might say "f*ck it, I've got just as much right to be there as anyone and if people are annoyed then sod them!" And there is nothing wrong with that either!!

People are entitled to feel however they like and do whatever they like.

If a viewer chooses to leave the viewing because they are too distracted then that is completely their choice. It doesn't make them disablist at all, it just means they can't hear the film.

Hawkmoon

Did you catch my post further up?
For my son, severely autistic and unable to participate in many things young boys would normally do for fun' the cinema is his primary enjoyment.

So if people want him to go elsewhere what else is he to do at the end of the week as a treat?

Tabularasa Noise in (most)restaurants, public transport etc is fine, surely? And many people can't go to the ballet/opera etc because if a myriad if reasons - can't afford it, don't have childcare, don't live nearby etc

And they did only tut once.

If you had seen the looks they threw you would completely understand why they were told to fuck off

Salmon - in dark cinemas I wouldn't necessarily notice anyone's disability. You said they tutted at a loud laugh. That's a bit rude, but bit half as rude as you telling them to F off!

Pah they deserved it.

And cinemas don't start off dark!

And yes everyone should respect other people and that includes those with disabilities.

I won't however show respect to those who can't see past their own noses and experiences and think that people with disabilities should just exclude themselves from something they find enjoyable because of people who tut and, in some cases, verbally abuse them.

I've read the whole of the thread and find it very difficult to figure out an appropriate resolution. I don't think there actually is one that would make everyone happy.

Either:

a) Anyone with involuntary tics/noises cannot attend public screenings - obviously unacceptable

or

b) People have no right to expect to be able to concentrate on a movie they have just paid for - not sure this is fair at all either

I think (a) is more unacceptable than (b), but I don't think (b) is particularly compassionate either.

I'm someone who always sits at the back so that I can leave non-disruptively and ask for another viewing if I am finding it impossible to focus on the movie. Have done so on several occasions (loud, chatty teenagers, children running repeatedly up and down aisle throwing popcorn, etc), never disability-related (to my knowledge).

However, I actually wouldn't know if any noise was being made as a result of disability or not, unless I actually asked the person/people involved, and am not entitled to that information anyway (nor do I think it would be appropriate of me to ask).

So, as far as I can rationally work out, either I leave for all distracting levels of noise, or I stay through all of them whether I can watch the movie or not.

Maybe cinemas should sell noise-blocking headphones that can be plugged into the armrest. That way anyone wanting a relatively quieter viewing could have one.

"Tabularasa Noise in (most)restaurants, public transport etc is fine, surely?"

It has been voiced on here before that people with disabilities that involve noise or disruptive behaviour should also avoid restaurants, so no, obviously not.

"many people can't go to the ballet/opera etc because if a myriad if reasons - can't afford it, don't have childcare, don't live nearby etc"

They're not fixed reasons completely out of your control, you might get money for a ticket, someone could babysit, you could stay in a hotel, you could save up and make a weekend trip and hire childcare...someone with a disability might have all those issues too, but what they can't do is take away the disability.

It's really not the same at all.

Tabulahrass - somebody said people who make disruptive noises or have SN shouldn't be allowed in restaurants?? Jesus Christ! That's horrendous!

Pag - I don't have an answer I'm afraid. I don't know what your son would enjoy.

I'd be interested to know if someone decided to leave a film because of noise made by someone who was disabled, how would you explain that to your children?

tabulahrasa

Unfortunately pretty much all of the people I've worked have faced some sort of this.

I mean how dare they think they can just go out to eat or socialise like normal people

Because 'normal' people are so very well behaved all the time aren't they?

2andry Your views are outdated as is your terminology "wheelchair bound"????

Youthecat

"That lady's leaving because she was finding it difficult to hear the film. It's important that we're as quiet as possible so everyone can enjoy the film. Some people find if harder to be quiet but you don't find it hard to be quiet, so sshhh!"

There is a difference between leaving the cinema because there is a disabled person in the same room, and leaving the cinema because of noise disruptions which means someone can't hear/enjoy the film.

If someone is not able to concentrate on the film for WHATEVER reason they are well within their rights to leave.

If the noises were made due to a persons disability then hopefully compassion and understanding would be there, but the reason behind the noise doesn't change the fact that it might be disruptive to some.

Why should a person sit through a film that they can't listen to? It doesn't make sense?

writer absolutely agree

Hawk, I meant if you were the person upping and leaving with your children.

I honestly don't think there's a right answer here tbh. I mean I would easily be able to zone out one person can't see how the noise o the film wouldn't be longer than they were. I've been sat next to people making general teen googling /texting / talking people and shut them out no problem. However if I was to see a film and I was particularly tired , film didnt interest me (we go in a group so one person picks a film) and I physically just didnt feel like going back after a trip to the loo then I wouldn't. But I wouldn't want someone thinking it was their fault either.

Youthecat

If I was with my children then I assume it'd be a children's screening. If so, I expect some noise, excitement etc.

If a disabled child or adult was close by and making noises loud enough to disturb or scare my children I would:

A) explain that whoever is making the noise isn't trying to disturb/ scare. I would remind them of people they know with disabilities.

B) if it was really loud noises I might move and I'd say "let's move so we can hear a bit better."

I'd say the same thing if the excessive noise was nt children messing around. I don't have a special "disabled person" explanation because disabilities come in many shapes and forms and are often not obvious anyway.

This is true.

But there have been quite a few on this thread who have said they would leave because of the noise and I was just wondering how they'd explain wanting to leave to their children.

Hawkmoon

That's kind of my point really. You (understandably perhaps) are treating it like a level playing field - ah well we can't all do everything.
But that is because you are aware of the cinema of one of a multitude of leisure activities.
But many people with SN/LDs will have considerably fewer choices.

So to say 'oh well' is not really appropriate because an inability to attend the cinema with affect my son and his peers far more than the general population.

Yes, life isn't fair.
But making a person with disabilities give up what may be one of only very few leisure options is hugely punitive . If my cinema watching were disrupted I can go to dinner, go home and read, go to the ballet, go swimming, roller skating etc etc.

Does that make sense?

If I were watching a film with my children, it would be their choice of movie and I would be there to supervise them, not with the main aim of watching the movie myself.

However, if they were complaining that they could not hear/watch the movie for whatever reason, I would take them out (partly to spare other people having to listen to their complaints).

Or if we did all happen to be watching a movie that I also really wanted to see, I would take them and explain outside that I couldn't hear the movie so wanted to see if there was a quieter one.

If they asked me why someone was making noise, or running up and down, or chatting loudly to each other, I would say 'I don't know. Some people haven't been taught to be quiet or don't want to, and some people can't help it."

I would probably add that its better not to try and figure out which cause it is because you don't know unless you ask the person, and that would be rude.

Well noise is noise really. "If you're finding it hard to hear, let's move." Simple. Sometimes v tall adults sit in front of my children. We swap seats. Easy. Children don't dislike people with disabilities (or tall people!) unless their parents teach them to. Imvho.