To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

[WombatCat]

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

IMO there is an issue if such posts are making people very hurt and upset and wanting to die.

Bottom line.

I could not imagine a life when people would purposely move away because I was a distraction in their lives, I would even find that more hurtful than the rude comments. Do people believe the person with Tourette's will not notice people leaving.

What Weller said.

A lot of people have been very hurt by these posts about leaving.

It is either disingenous, deluded or just insensitive to call it a non issue.

In my past I've had horrible things said and done to me because of my epilepsy. I've had boyfriends leave me because of it and long term friends distance themselves from me because of it - to which they admitted was because of my condition and now knowing how to cope with it. I've been turned away from Universities because of it, I've had the right to be in my career judged because of it, I have people refuse to get in cars with me, and I've had people tell me that I shouldn't be around children. And that's just the start. I've lived with people's opinions for 14 years now and although yes, some of the, have really hurt me, I understand that their 'views' simply come through lack of knowledge about the condition and the fact that they don't know what it's like to live with the condition - the latter they can't help. I'm very fortunate that my condition is hidden so thankfully I don't have to live with people's judgement 24/7 and I really feel for people who don't have that option. What the previous poster said about how she wants to die was very upsetting and hopefully a bit of an eye opener.

People who don't have to contend with health problems every day of their life will never know how lonely it can make you and they can never understand that sadness of being made to feel different which It is awful. I think I hold on to this thought when people express their 'views' on me as it makes it easier for me to be more tolerant. I listen to them, try and educate them and then walk away.

Have said my piece.

Yes it's healthy to walk away writer..I will try to do so

You are NOT educating at all. You are doing NOTHING for disablism.

You are winding people up and accusing them of things they have no intention of.

That has the opposite affect, I promise.

If someone is genuinely void of compassion, they you being sarcy and sad face all over the place isn't going to make a difference.

Yes I can see it has no effect strokey.

I wasnt actually trying to educate in fact.

As I know already there is no point..as you said.

Several years ago I went to see a National Theatre production of Under Milk Wood. Seats were quite expensive. The play was marred for me by the fact that the woman next to me kept whispering to her husband throughout. I turned to her after a bit and said, "Would you mind not talking?" She said, "My husband's blind and I'm explaining to him what's going on." I felt crap, of course - who wouldn't? - but it doesn't alter the fact that having someone whispering throughout a performance is incredibly irritating.

Hackmum..but you got over it?

I love the fact strokey is banging on about my sarcy and sad face not being educational. .if people saying they feel.like dying doesn't move you then why on earth would I bother trying to educate you with a sad face. A lost cause.

Off to do something productive.

Keep on the fight for the right to moan about the involuntary behaviour of those with disabilities and make them feel crap..an important fight

Not one person has moaned about the noise made by other peoples involuntary behaviour.

Saying youd be irritated and leave =moaning.

This is pointless. .am out. More important things to do.

I've left the cinema many times, for many reasons. My friend left once because a man tried to wank on her hair! I've left because the film was crap, because I felt ill, etc etc. I've always left silently and with as little disruption to others as possible. I don't think anybody notices or cares. For all they know, I'm just nipping to the loo anyway.

I've never seen staff at my local ever deal with anyone. They are pretty much all kids working and there always seems to be irritating people who play on their phones talk all through the film, giggle or throw popcorn at each other. And never has a word been said by staff.

Would be interesting to know what company policies are with regards to behaviour in the screens. I mean there's no way it should have been allowed for someone to verbally abuse another customer. That's partly why my friend left because of the complete lack of training and the fact that no one cared about any thing.

Are staff even trained to deal with difficult customers or given any kind of security back up.

I am a support worker and take a disabled gentleman out to the cinema every week. He has poor walking and communication skills. He generally is very quiet in the cinema but occasionally shouts at the cinema, or sings to a soundtrack he likes . I touch his arm to remind him if he is getting too loud, and he knows to be quiet. He has been subject to stares and eye rolling, had popcorn and ice cubes chucked at him. Usually by people making more noise than him with popcorn munching.

Personally, I accept that if you have a cinema full of people, there is going to be noise on some level.If you accept that, you will be less annoyed. If you want total silence, then wait for DVD and watch on your own when family is out.

Oh get off your pedestal Strokey, you got a post deleted yesterday for saying that if you had a child with disabilities that made lots of noise you wouldn't take them to cinemas or public recitals etc!

Don't be so fucking condescending, enough people read your post before Mumsnet deleted you for being disablist.

Yes, Morris, they did, and the posts were deleted.

The comments were made though.

If I remember rightly, This is my child came about as a result of a similar thread where the OP was complaining about a child with SN spoiling her enjoyment of a panto. I think it was kungfupanda who made some extremely eloquent posts. The gist of it was that, if someone has a disability that may be disruptive to "normal" people and the normal people insist on their right not to have their experience disrupted, it means that in reality disabled people will never be able to attend mainstream cinemas or theatres as they are massively outnumbered.That's the reality. I think she spoke about "donating time" to ensure that disabled people are truly included and not just tolerated as long as they don't annoy anyone. FWIW, it did actually really make me think very hard and made me realise that I'm not actually as tolerant as I thought I was.
And for those of you talking about leaving and asking for a refund, that's your right but suppose everyone did that? The reality would be everyone walking out and leaving the man with Tourette's on his own. Bet that'd make him feel great.

See I don't think people would really ask for a refund purely because of that one man who no one really would have even noticed a few mins into the film.

Any disruption to that film showing would have been caused by a complete lack of staff doing their job to ensure all cinema customers had a good experience. By allowing that man to shout at the poor guy , not only would it have upset and made the tics worse he also drew everyone's attention to it, and anyone who agreed was given carte Blanche to mumble and moan amongst themselves ensuring a group of wound up angry people. That's what caused any disruption and any reason to ask for a refund.

The situation was perfectly manageable with no disruption. Removal of the nasty man, and of anyone else being abusive and disruptive.

I actually feel very sorry for them (but apparently they don't like that)

Fuck. That. Attitude.

ThisIsMyChild

Strokey seems to make quite a few controversial comments.

And despite what he/she thinks, none of us are bothering trying to educate Strokey, I think there's more than enough posters reading the posts to be able to form their own opinions and draw their own conclusions

That's my point, it gets peoples backs up being called all sorts of names.

Its not going to make many people change their points of view though.

Its just you venting. Boring.