To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

[WombatCat]

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

Mentioning asking for refunds is not the best attitude either :(

I don't think so either,Fanjo.

I can't imagine why any one would think it was acceptable to ask for a refund.

I would be embarrassed to ask or a refund!

But isn't that the problem? People don't say anything.?

Surely staff should have done something about the man who yelled! Where were the free drinks/snacks for the Tourette's guy and his family. Or the seat upgrades. ?

That would have been the decent thing to do surely. That's the real problem. That its become normal for people to see someone yelling or swearing at someone and not do or say anything.

I mean I've had customers be nasty to me but been made to continue to serve them. They were only barred when they committed a more serious offence.

Otherwise what's the point of all these "staff will not tolerate abuse offenders will be asked to leave" signs if nothing actually happens.

I'm glad to see the disablist posts have been deleted before I got a chance to read them.

I am hoping that those who have said they would leave and ask for a refund it is because they have not found themselves in this situation. I am sure some of those poster would not stand, grab their bags and coat and leave en masse because a disabled person is in their presence. Of course some would but again I hope some have just not thought it through.

Anyone who's honestly saying they would ask for a refund/be pissed off at someone making involuntary noises needs to step back a minute and think. How would you reflect upon your behaviour that day? "Ah, yes, I went to see a film and 2 hours of my life was slightly disrupted by a disabled person making noises that, for some reason, irritated me more than the constant crunching, munching and lunching that usually goes on in the cinema. So I told the disabled person to be quiet/complained/asked for a refund. Go me! Only now, looking back I feel like a total shit for having so little understanding and compassion."

I think it is just one of those situations where people will have different views of it. Anybody with Tourette's has the right to be in the cinema, absolutely, but other viewers also have the right to be able to watch and enjoy the film. I think if there was lots of noise and disruption from a person with Tourette's it wouldn't be the cause that that might annoy some people (I.e his disability) but just the fact that it would make it harder for them to focus on the film, which obviously they really want to watch. I would really hope people would be compassionate and understand that it isn't the person with Tourettes fault, but compassion doesn't mean they wouldn't feel a bit . I think that the man in the original thread who did the screaming was just disgusting and I can't believe that someone would actually do that - he should have been thrown out!

People have said that if their enjoyment/experience was too badly affected by the disruptions they would just come back and watch ianother showing, and I can understand why some may choose that route as a muchs better option that shouting and causing humiliation to the person with Tourettes. I wouldn't ask for a refund though because that would imply that the Cinema were in some way at fault - which obviously they aren't as like I said, anybody has the right to enter a cinema regardless of any disability.

I have never met anybody with Tourettes but I imagine there must be certain degrees of it and I can't imagine that somebody who has the condition would actually be able to cause enough noise to completely ruin (in some people's view) a showing? I have seen other posters talk about tics being intermittent and that they can settle down etc so I can't see that for 2 hours straight (or however long the film might be) a viewer would be disturbed? But like I said, I don't know much about the condition and am happy to be enlightened.

The whole scenario in the original thread is just dire really and hopefully karma will bite that man in the bum. I would never wish ill health on anybody but maybe a dose of nasty public humiliation for him might help him re-think his ways. I wonder who he was at the cinema with, can you imagine how disgusted you would feel to be associated with him?! Unless they had the same vile atittude of course. It is just sad to think that a person could be so, so nasty and purposefully hurtful to another!

I don't go to multiplex cinemas, because I can't stand the constant noise intrusion from others, ie the munching, crunching, phone use etc mentioned by many on here.

I only go to smaller, art house type cinemas where people care about film and treat each other with respect. This probably makes me sound like a wanker but I'm too old to sit silently fuming at other people's rude behaviour, and DP gets embarrassed when I tell people to be quiet etc.

If I heard vocal tics etc during a film it would ruin it for me as it would distract from what I was watching and listening to. I might decide to leave and come back another time. Everybody has the right to go to cinemas, and everybody has the right to decide that they'd rather come back another time if they aren't able to enjoy the film for whatever reason.

Why do you feel the need to say you'd have to leave the film on here though, knowing someone with Tourettes is posting on thread and has been pretty hurt by it?

Just don't know why people are feeling the need to say this, whether it's their "right" or not.

What happened to tact.

I wouldn't feel bad about asking for a refund. I wouldn't ask the disabled person would I? Id ask the management. Id leave as soon as I realised I wasn't going to be able to enjoy the film and ask for a new ticket at another showing.

The same as if the noise was from kids or poor quality speakers or anything.

Doesn't mean I have no compassion for disabled people. I actually feel very sorry for them (but apparently they don't like that)

Lovely thoughtful post there.

So nice for people affected by disability in themselves or their children to read that people will be leaving if they go to the cinema and secretly asking for refunds.

I feel more.sorry for you, if you can't see why your post is wrong.

But isn't the point of a discussion for people to be honest with their thoughts and try and explain themselves? Why discuss such a subject if certain people aren't allowed to voice how they feel?

Not one person has said they would leave the Cinema just because the man was disabled, they said they would leave because they'd struggle to to hear and concentrate on the film.

If someone isn't enjoying being at the cinema because they can't hear the film then why shouldn't they be allowed to come back and watch it another time? It isn't like they are saying, "I'm not staying here because someone disabled is in the room" - I.e they have just seen a person in a wheelchair and just walked out. They have said they would leave because their viewing experience was being effected. I think one point being made is that even if there is a genuine reason for the disruption that doesn't mean they shouldn't have the right to be able to return at another time if they do wish?

Yes, what did happen to tact??

Why is it ok to call someone an ignorant twat void of compassion for having a different opinion to you?

Oh yes, you are trying to educate

No. Sometimes there is more need for decency and tact than honesty.

Especially when some posters have talked about wanting to die and feeling they cant go out.

Can't believe I have to actually say that.

I suppose I felt the need to say it because this is an open forum, and people who leave cinemas because of distractions are being called shits, vile etc. I don't think I'm vile or a shit.

Well I havent called anyone terms of abuse

I do think it's awful to post such things but yes it's am open forum so go you and have your say..never mind if it hurts people.

As long as you assert that right to leave the cinema, thats what counts. It must be a real issue for you.

You are making an issue where there isn't one. Everyone has agreed that OP WNBU and that the guy was very rude.

Lots of people say they would inconvenience themselves by leaving the cinema rather than expecting the disabled person to. But that's terrible too, according to you.

Would it be OK to leave and NOT ask for a refund?

What strokey said.