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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

806 replies

WombatCat · 09/09/2013 23:57

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

OP posts:
AllThatGlistens · 10/09/2013 22:26

Oh dear Suelford I can only assume you haven't revised the Equality Act yet.. I believe that trumps people 'enjoying expensive treats'.

YouTheCat · 10/09/2013 22:30

I have returned!

Riddick was rather good and the only disruption was the woman to the side rustling her massive bag of crisps... and then burping loudly.

Grin
AllThatGlistens · 10/09/2013 22:38

Ah.. But was she wearing an arsehole badge? Lest you discriminate in any way! Grin

YouTheCat · 10/09/2013 22:41

I don't think she was.

It was a huge bag of crisps though. The burp was funny... just as it all went quiet. Grin

AllThatGlistens · 10/09/2013 22:45

Oops! I do hope she didn't spoil people enjoyment of the film

Not a noise story, but to my eternal shame (and my DH's never ending amusement) I did once trip whilst going to sit down at the cinema and managed to fling an entire tray of nachos -with sauce! Into a woman's handbag. Blush

Again, woman with the nacho, jalapeño and salsa covered bag, I am truly sorry and thank you for being so gracious about it!

YouTheCat · 10/09/2013 22:53

Hahahaha Grin

I am quite tight fisted when it comes to cinema snacks though we did get coffees today as it wasn't any more expensive than Costa.

Suelford · 10/09/2013 22:56

Well aware of the Equality Act, thanks... just using those legal concepts as an analogy, not writing some judgment on the exact legality of this situation.

AllThatGlistens · 10/09/2013 22:57

That's what makes it worse! I was pregnant and craving them so it was quite the treat

Of course I felt awful about the poor woman's bag, and offered her cleaning/ replacement which she declined, she was lovely! But my poor nachos!

Didn't set foot in a cinema for quite some time after that, still makes me cringe now Blush

What was the film like anyhoo? I watched the first Riddick not long ago.

AllThatGlistens · 10/09/2013 22:59

I'm sure all of us parents of disabled children will be very glad to hear that suelford

Dominodonkey · 10/09/2013 23:03

OP YANBU - the man sounds horrible.

But genuine question - why are those suggesting leaving and asking for a refund being called names such as ridiculous and prejudiced.

Not sure where people on this thread go to the cinema but every cinema I have been in to see an adult film has been very quiet. I totally appreciate that in the scheme of things me not being able to hear the film properly is not that important. However, like the man with Tourettes ,discussed in the OP, I did go to the cinema to watch the film. If I were to leave (quietly, certainly not shouting abuse or aiming comments at the person) and to ask the cinema for the chance to see the film at a later showing how am I being unreasonable?

YouTheCat · 10/09/2013 23:04

It was really good. Nice bit of humour in there and plenty of people getting killed in ever more inventive ways. Grin

I go to the cinema a lot. I do like Cheap Tuesdays.

I had about 14 years of only being able to go very rarely and I'm making up for it. Ds would not have tolerated the cinema even if there had been autism friendly screenings. It would definitely end in a meltdown and sensory overload and not a very nice experience for him really.

Dominodonkey · 10/09/2013 23:05

Sorry meant to add that surely this is an entirely different scenario to complaining about someone with additional needs in a restaurant. The purpose of your visit here is to see and hear the film.

AllThatGlistens · 10/09/2013 23:12

Thing is with that Domino, and the point other posters raised earlier, is where would it end?

Not being sarcastic at all, but if teenagers are being rowdy, would I get a refund? If there was a drunken idiot causing a scene would I get a refund? Unlikely.

So you can't really separate the issue, and it is against the law for the cinema to discrimate on the grounds of disability so I genuinely can't see how refunds would happen Confused

AllThatGlistens · 10/09/2013 23:15

YouTheCat I miss the cinema too, eldest DS isn't too bad in that scenario but youngest DS wouldn't cope at all and because of his violent tantrums and being non verbal we can't leave him with anyone else to go together, so DH usually takes the other two on his own, we've never been to the cinema as a whole family Sad

Still, it's probably best that I'm not let loose too often, especially if carrying food Grin

Glad you enjoyed the film!

YouTheCat · 10/09/2013 23:15

I got some lads thrown out once for throwing popcorn and generally being dickheads during Transformers 3.

That really did spoil the first 20 minutes of the film and was on purpose. I didn't expect or ask for a refund though.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 10/09/2013 23:17

As someone wise said earlier. .how could you ask for a refund because a disabled person made involuntary noises, without feeling like a lowlife. I couldn't.

Dominodonkey · 10/09/2013 23:17

all I am pretty sure you would get a refund in those circumstances actually but I do see your point.

In the two examples you give the cinema staff should have ejected the offenders and if they do not then they are responsible for you being unable to see the film.

I can see why some people are concerned that this may lead to discrimination from the cinemas though.

YouTheCat · 10/09/2013 23:18

Allthat, ds is the same - violent meltdowns and so it was just me and dd going to the cinema and ds would stay at home with his dad. But it was a very rare occurrence.

Harrin · 10/09/2013 23:19

I had a similar experience recently when I took my sisters to a kids film. There was a lad of about 12 with sn who was flicking his drink and some of it hit a little girl in front, which he found funny and started giggling. The 2 women in front kicked right off and some of the things they were saying were disgusting, one of them being that they shouldn't take him to the cinema if he has sn. I was gobsmacked but like you op I didn't say anything because there were already 4 people kicking off in the middle of a kids film! The lad ended up so hysterical he left which I thought was sad. I can understand being unhappy but it's the things people seem to think it's fine to say that never fails to shock me

SpecialAgentCuntSnake · 10/09/2013 23:20

Honestly the only thing I can think of that I wouldn't like WRT to a disabled person in a cinema is if their involuntary tics caused them to smack me or something. But then I can always move. [shrug]

Phones in cinemas give me the rage. Not disabled people.

Toomuch2young · 10/09/2013 23:21

I knew when i opened this it would be on Tourettes.

I have tried so many times to educate mumsnet and so many others in real life about tourettes yet still get so much abuse.

This poor guy was probably trying desperately for a slice of 'normality'. I've thought for a long time about trying the cinema but am too concerned my tics would disrupt others. Clearly I'm right to think like that. Iv never been to a theatre or anything like that.

Trying not to tic is like trying not to blink. The longer you hold it the more uncomfortable it gets. Tourettes has had me hospitalised, sedated, years of medications and procedures. Broken bones, constant bruises, aches, pains, unable to sleep, abuse from strangers frequently.

Please tell me which part of this is funny.
I'm sorry if this seems irrational. I can usually talk and educate in a calm way but some of the things iv read on here just make me feel like a sub human. My body is tired and iv just about had enough.

Where's people compassion? I hate that people's kids with TS may have all this to come Sad

If 2 hours of slight disruption is the biggest problem in some people's lives they should be very, very grateful.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 10/09/2013 23:21

Why oh why cant posters see that saying they would ask for a refund because of the noises that other posters kids made is horrible to read and pretty mean spirited to post.

SpecialAgentCuntSnake · 10/09/2013 23:21

Harrin that's disgusting. :( What a lesson to teach the little girl. :(

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 10/09/2013 23:24

Toomuch..sorry you had to read this. Some people have no tact or shame or thought for anyone other than themselves

YouTheCat · 10/09/2013 23:25

Exactly, Fanjo.

So what there's a bit of noise or whatever it's hardly the end of the world and I'd bet my bottom dollar that people don't sit in silence if they watch a film at home.