To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

[WombatCat]

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

And you just can't see how it's disabilist to suggest that someone with a disability should not be able to enjoy a cinema trip like everyone else?

And with that, I am off... to the cinema as it is £3.75 on a Tuesday. Going to see Riddick.

But he might not have known. I mean he might have taken his medication and it was kicking in, or he's been receiving therapy of some kind and was jut trying to utilise what he had learnt ( if they do that) he wasn't physically hurting any body and he might have just needed a few mins to settle down etc. surely we can place some trust in an adult to regulate/ control himself as best he can and know when it is or isn't working.

Unless he was standing up and yelling at the too of his voice over all the sound affects I genuinely can't see how he really could have disrupted it that much. The man shouting would have been more disturbing.

Hi Zaty

We removed your post as we felt your comment "someone who came in knowing they would be disturbing everyone" implies that the person with Tourettes was purposefully being disruptive, and that they wanted to disturb others, rather than their unconscious noises and tics being part of their syndrome. We have deleted your other post for repeating these sentiments.

Ah yes, you see, when we become parents of disabled children, we automatically become saints

So, we should all just take our children off to special screenings, ya know, away from 'normal' people who don't want to accept that actually, as human beings, our children have just as much right to be there as anyone else?

Because heaven forbid that some 'normal' people would be able to distinguish that everyone is different, and we must be tolerant, kind and understanding of others.

And yet oddly, my autistic, Tourette's DS can comprehend that fact. Odd.

Zatya - I didn't see your original post, but if you are suggesting that people who make involuntary noises due to a disability should not go anywhere where it is the convention to sit quietly, then you are absolutely being disablist.

Thank you, Mumsnet, for the comment and the campaign.

I hope this thread stands for a long time as a perfect example of the ignorance and disablist attitudes we have to contend with, every single day.

What AllthatGlistens said

Nobody would dream of making these comments about physical disabilities. The campaign to highlight hidden disabilities is clearly so, so needed.

Pagwatch, yes. People who have issues with noise, like the angry man, could go to the special screenings already in place for people with hearing impairments. They are very quiet screenings and have subtitles.

It can be hard, my toddler DS is just going through assessment and is v likely to be more severely affected than my elder DS.

So we are now getting the usual looks and comments re our elder DS as well as comments about the younger..

'Oh why is he still in a buggy? There's nothing wrong with his legs!'

Then we invariably get asked why our middle child, a girl, is 'normal' - "why isn't she disabled then?' Ffs.

(We're waiting for wheelchair services to sort out a Maclaran Major, he's outgrown every buggy on the high street.)

DS has the mental age of an 18month old and a severe aversion to walking, but the height and weight of a much bigger child, which I'll happily explain if asked, and despite this, he's a lazy child, or naughty

This forum saved my life, in so many ways.

It got me through both DLA and Statementing processes successfully, and in one piece emotionally.

It has also highlighted that there are still an awful lot of woefully ignorant, intolerant people out there, and how much we still need to fight to educate people, as well as somehow managing to do the best we can, for our children, to give them a better place to grow up in.

The women on here with disabled children aren't saints.

We're mothers who love their children and desperately want to give them everything they possibly can to make their lives as safe, comfortable and happy as possible, whilst dealing with exhausting full time care, frightening, worrying hospital appointments, poor schooling, inept medical staff, poor financial provision.

We do it day in, day out. For our children.

It can be heartbreaking and so frustrating to see the sheer ignorance, day after day after day, especially here, which for a lot of us is a safe haven.

Strokey are you fucking serious?

Yes and I STILL don't see whats so wrong about that. Being able to hear the film is a pretty fundamental part of the cinema experience.

I wouldn't say anything to him though. Id ask for a refund.

at the number of people who'd ask for a refund. Wouldn't you feel like a right cunt saying ""can I have a refund please, my film was ruined by a disabled person making involuntary noises?"^?? I'd write it off as one of those things. I'm physically disabled and getting out is not easy but if I encountered a person making involuntary noises at the cinema, I'd shrug it off as one of those things, which it is!

I read the OP and a few of the more posts to my DSes (16&18). They knew their were some nasty people in the world because we have had some shit ourselves because of my disability, but both are gobsmacked by this. They did say had they have been there they would have told the man in the cinema to sit down and shut up, or get out!

And unfortunately, even after having your post deleted for being disablist, by Mumsnet, you still can't figure out why. Some people apparently can't be educated. Sad really.

Some people will continue to fester in their own ignorance, Glistens.

I go to the cinema every Saturday and it is SO loud that you be hard fetched to be disturbed by anything let alone a Boy/Man with involuntary tics and squeals, what is wrong with this country that we still feel at liberty to ostracise (sp?) people who are just plain diffrent, nothing else just diffrent to the absolute normal, WTF is wrong with a bit of noise during a film?

I have ASD and a medium sensitivity to noise related to that.

No way could I tolerate a guy coughing and grunting in the cinema. However neither can I tolerate the noises of NT people wheezing, muttering, giggling and munching. Both make it impossible to concentrate on the film.

If that rude man couldn't tolerate the guy's tics he should do what I do and wait for the dvd release rather than being a dick. Saying something was the height of bad manners. You expect other people to make noise at the cinema & involuntary noise is much more forgivable imo... which is why I don't go. Fuck the popcorn eaters and drink slurpers :D

I feel really bad for the guy with Tourettes

Just to clarify my post of 20:00, my teens were referring to the rude man when they said he should shut up and sit down, or get out.

They, and I think that the man, and any other person with a disability should be at the cinema or anywhere else they choose to be.

To put some legal knowledge I've been falling asleep over revising into action, I think the concepts of actus reus (the act) and mens rea (the intention) are at play here.

One side is arguing that, of course, making noise in a cinema isn't ideal, but the intention of the noise-maker needs to be considered. Is it merely inconsiderate (e.g. someone answering their phone and having a long conversation) or involuntary, and thus justifiable?

And the other side is treating making noise/distractions in a cinema as a 'strict liability offence', where the intentions don't matter, only the end result.

Personally, I'm ridiculously harsh on anyone making noise at the cinema. Popcorn-rustling, can-opening, mouth-breathing, foot-tapping... I hate it, so I do the very British thing if sitting there seething in silence, having the experience ruined and immersion shattered.

But going to the cinema is a public experience; why not watch the DVD if you value silence so strongly? Well, I do, a few times a week. But you can't get the latest films on DVD, and I don't have a massive screen and a few dozen huge speakers, so I can't match the cinema yet .

I think dismissing people's genuine irritation about having their expensive treat spoiled isn't going to win any battles for the anti-disablist lobby, especially because the 'disablists' on this thread, have no problems with disabled people, just with distractions regardless of the source.

I have being wondering if people will ever learn until they themselves, perhaps not even just a child or close relative, actually have some health issue that are limiting what they can do.
Some sort of 'until I walked a mile or so in similar shoes than you, I can't understand what's all the fuss about'.

Suelford, I am not a lawyer, but I believe the relevant legislation is the Equalities Act. Reasonable adjustments need to be made for people with disabilities in the provison of goods and services, and they are protected from harassment.

I believe mens rea is a term from criminal law, and this is a civil matter.

Happy to be corrected by someone more knowledgable though.

And people so lacking in compassion that they are irritated at having "their expensive treat spoiled....regardless of the source of the distraction" are wholly lacking in compassion if they can't stop for a nanosecond and realise how many many many times worse it must be for the person who spends their whole existence ticking.

suelford I really hope the Equality Act is on your syllabus.