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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think ONE holiday ONCE in term time should be allowed

201 replies

SilverStreak7 · 09/09/2013 16:02

Basically we booked to go away on a Sun Break (don't buy and newspaper but did buy for the vouchers) and only date we were given was next weekend .. We didn't think it would cause a major problem as my older two , when younger, came on two such holidays with us with no problems .. Now though Im given a letter (with a form to fill in) and letter says if permission is denied Id be liable to a fine or court action .. Some will say we have had six weeks for holidays, which is true, but Im on a limited income as only me and my boys and term time holidays are very expensive and I want them to at least have one holiday away . . This will not be a regular thing . ,probably won;t go again in term time.

To be more reasonable I have said if Homework is given I will make sure it is done and ready to be handed in on Tuesday

OP posts:
Feminine · 09/09/2013 17:28

because sometimes in life we need to lie

YAY! Great life lesson there Hmm

ZingWantsCake · 09/09/2013 17:31

psst! gazza!

that is pretty much what the 10 sessions of unauthorized absence is all about! after that you could be in trouble!

ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 17:34

have to teach them when its right to do it and when its not

mediawhore · 09/09/2013 17:35

Add message | Report | Message poster SilverStreak7 Mon 09-Sep-13 16:16:13
I don't but I don't expect snide remarks either such as the one whose daughter is a Teacher . .A Teacher, I imagine, can well afford the over inflated holiday time holidays ..

Oh How I wish this were true!

Bowlersarm · 09/09/2013 17:35

GHOSTSPIRIT are you just supporting the op on here because she's over on your thread supporting you whn people are telling you how unreasonable you are being as well??

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 17:36

So you think lying to school is right?

Or is lying about being ill right? when they start pretending to be ill to get a day off will you be happy with that?? or is is it only acceptable when you say it is?

I can think of no circumstances when you should encourgae a child to lie.

Lethologica · 09/09/2013 17:37

Oh dear, I think the OP needs a break Grin

I was going to say the OP was BU and a bit stroppy

I would never lie to the school about the kids being sick. Confused. I wouldn't put my kids in a situation where they had to lie to their teachers.

LtEveDallas · 09/09/2013 17:38

But sometimes in life we do need to lie. I really don't think 2 days absence is something to get your knickers in a twist about. No it's not ideal, but in the long run who exactly is going to be hurt by a 9 year old and a 12 year old having 2 days off school? 2 weeks i could understand, but 2 days, I just don't get the angst.

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 17:39

then don't lie tell the school the truth about it. If people want to take children off school then that is their choice but to encourage children to lie and pretend they have been ill is wrong and unfair on the child.

MrsAMerrick · 09/09/2013 17:40

YABU. Term time holidays should not be allowed. You have had 6 weeks to take them away, I appreciate that it's more expensive in school holidays, but that is something which we all know before we have kids. It is not a given right to have a holiday (as opposed to paid time off work). We have sometimes not gone away for a holiday due to cost, but have taken 2 weeks off in the school summer holidays to spend time with the children. When my 2 were younger I got very cross when teachers ended up repeating lessons or having to give time to children who had missed the original lesson because they were on holiday. It's not fair on those children whose parents obey the rules.

ZingWantsCake · 09/09/2013 17:42

bowlersarm Grin

5 out of 5 for detective work - and I applaud you for it!Thanks

ghost - OP never said she wanted to lie about it!
if she did want to lie about it I presume she would have just done it without asking anyone's opinions.

there's no point lying about this, at all. such a stupid thing to suggest.

Bowlersarm · 09/09/2013 17:42

Lteve. Because you are cheating the system. If you are going to take your children out of school and flaunt school rules, the least you could do is be honest about it.

Donnadoon · 09/09/2013 17:44

I would never tell my child to lie, But I can see parents being put in this situation because they cant afford the fines and they cant afford to holiday in term time. I think its a shame to never go away together as a family when the children are aged 4 years to 18 years. < shrugs shoulders>

ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 17:45

i would lie yes. my children are a bit to young to lie about going on holiday they would want to tell everyone. so i would make sure it was a long weekend holiday so i could say they went on the sat not the friday. they were ill on the friday.

Donnadoon · 09/09/2013 17:47

*holiday time

LtEveDallas · 09/09/2013 17:48

If OP tells the truth then she could be fined £60 per child, and if OP is already resorting to bloody Sun holidays, then I'd suggest that £120 will be beyond her - and a ridiculous amount for the sake of 2 days.

Again, it's 2 days, not 2 weeks.

I'd tell my kids the truth "I'm going to lie to the school. If I don't then we can't have our holiday. I don't like lying, but I think this holiday is important enough for me to do so"

MrsLouisTheroux · 09/09/2013 17:49

silver:I don't but I don't expect snide remarks either such as the one whose daughter is a Teacher A Teacher, I imagine, can well afford the over inflated holiday time holidays ..
Two teachers in this house and guess what? You're not the only one who can't afford to go on a holiday (in the sun or uk) every year. HTH

BigBoobiedBertha · 09/09/2013 17:50

What a weird thread.

Most of the time people say it doesn't matter, take your children out of school, it's only a long weekend and have a good time when you go. I have never seen one of these threads where the balance is so firmly the other way - YABU to even consider it.

I wonder if that is down to the charms of the OP and her replies.Hmm

I'm afraid ouryve summed it up to me right at the beginning. Holidays aren't a basic right. They are lovely, they can be a chance to build family bonds and they can be wonderful learning opportunity and all that (although some aren't any of those things) but nobody has the 'right' to a holiday. Holidays aren't up there with the right to food, water, health care, education and a roof over your head.

And yes, I have gone without holidays due to lack of money. It isn't great but it doesn't harm you.

luxemburgerli · 09/09/2013 17:50

YANBU. No it's not a right to have a holiday, but it does make for great memories. I am happy my parents took us places during term time occasionally (i.e. twice in our school lives). None of my sibling have a bad work ethic because of it. On the contrary, we all have a good attitude to getting the balance of life right and making the most of opportunities that don't come by that often.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 09/09/2013 17:51

Teaching your children to lie and pretend they are ill when they're not so they can have an extra day of holiday? What the hell is there that's good to learn from that? What a pathetic thing to suggest.

luxemburgerli · 09/09/2013 17:51

On the other hand you can't expect teachers to catch your DC up, you'll obviously need to find out what they'll be missing and see to it yourself.

MrsDavidBowie · 09/09/2013 17:51

Well that's a great attitude ghostspirit
Kids BLAB.
Teachers aren't stupid.

I do not know why people post and then flounce when they don't like the replies.
Bet she'll be back under a name change.

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 17:59

And this is why in some areas schools are wanting medical notes when a child is off ill which makes it harder for parents who have children who are genuinely ill.

ilovesooty · 09/09/2013 18:00

I can't imagine why the OP thought the absence would be more acceptable if she asked the school for homework.

However, snippy as she was (another one who had already decided she WNBU) at least she hadn't suggested lying.

The concept of the ok lie once the child is old enough to play along with the dishonesty and is capable of being suitably coached is pretty staggering

The assertion by the OP that teachers can afford inflated prices or that people's holidays are financed by husbands earning megabucks is so stupid it hardly merits comment.

LtEveDallas · 09/09/2013 18:04

Umm Sirzy, if your child is genuinely ill, why is it hard to get a sick note? Not PassAg, genuine question.