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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that Benedict Cumberbatch would have a ginormous cock?

98 replies

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 08/09/2013 22:36

He just has that look about him. I don't even fancy him that much either, but I think it would be long AND wide.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HoneyDragon · 09/09/2013 00:55

I really want to see a stoat wearing a toupee now. It's already become a feverish burning desire in my soul.

ElleBelly · 09/09/2013 01:07

He looks totally asexual to me, and kind of like a plastic mannequin with an expression that suggests he's just caught a whiff of dogshit. Do not get the obsession. And he reminds me of Voldemort.

elcranko · 09/09/2013 08:38

"He reminds me of 'extradition drama aspie' Gary McKinnon"

Yes! He totally does!

AKissIsNotAContract · 09/09/2013 08:48

"I'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two" Robin Thicke, nasty and boastful = tiny, little cock in RL.

That's T.I's line though and we all know T.I has a whopper.

liquidstate · 09/09/2013 08:54

For all those that want to see his nether regions on the big screen there is a showing of a recorded performance of Frankenstein on 31st October at many cinemas (mainly Picturehouse, Vue and Showcase I think). You can see Jonny Lee Miller's whanger a few days later when they show it again with the actors in different roles. I already have my ticket!

NT Live rocks. Fact.

ntlive.nationaltheatre.org.uk/productions/16546-frankenstein

Fairylea · 09/09/2013 08:56

My eyes hurt seeing this thread on my active feed. Its much too early to think about penises.

It's not even Friday yet!

:)

LookingThroughTheFog · 09/09/2013 08:59

Would anyone find it acceptable to start a thread 'WIBU to think that Angelina Jolie has a beautifully tight but wet vagina?'

Should we perhaps all start speculating about each other's genitalia?

I recognise this post probably all makes you think mine is as dusty as they come. You'd be wrong.

PaulSmenis · 09/09/2013 09:14

I've never thought about it before, but now you mention it he does look like he would have a massive schlong.

However, you can't judge a book by its cover and some of the most unlikely men turn out to have monster cocks, whilst ones that look promising are a total let down.

AKissIsNotAContract · 09/09/2013 09:16

Are you Benedict's mum looking?

PaulSmenis · 09/09/2013 09:17

Why not speculate about other people's genitalia. Nothing wrong with a healthy dose of curiosity and imagination. Wink

mrsjay · 09/09/2013 09:20

Am I the only one on mn who thinks that benedict cumberbatch is a minger? Disclaimer: I have never watched anything with him in.

Nope he has no facial features and looks a bit lizardy I can't stand him and his lizardy face

celticclan · 09/09/2013 09:22

And this is why I never admit to anyone in rl that I use Mumsnet.

charleslingus · 09/09/2013 11:32

I'm pretty sure he isn't a pal of dotty's, I know someone who was in an 8 yr relationship with him.

Not well enough to discuss his cock measurements, but I'm tempted to text her.

Don't think it was particularly amicable and pretty sure she doesn't want to be reminded of him or his gargantuan or otherwise cock!

squoosh · 09/09/2013 11:46

I don't get a gay vibe off him at all and my gaydar is usually in good working order. He's a perfect example of someone for whom fame has completely changed the way people perceive him.

If he was working in Waterstones he would just be that bookish, awkward looking guy. Add a dash of fame to the mix and he becomes a Sex God apparently.

everlong · 09/09/2013 11:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MalcolmTuckersMistress · 09/09/2013 11:54

Oh goodness, I know he's not classically good looking but he has "something"...however, there simply is no WAY he's a friend of Dorothy's. he nailed Dorothy so hard that she went back up that yellow brick road all the way to OZ!

You can just tell by the glint in his eye. And he is pretty decent I the latest Star Treck film!

OP posts:
PigOnStilts · 09/09/2013 12:04

Benedict is unattractive.
So is bitching away about his dick...how would you all react if it was one of your fannies being debated?

Vix1980 · 09/09/2013 12:08

He looks like a stoat wearing a silly toupee!
This is the description ive been looking for for ages to describe this man! the eyes, the seriousness, oh god i cant stand the man!

FrankelInFoal · 09/09/2013 12:44

The man is a sex god

He may not be conventionally attractive, but he has "a quality", plus a voice to die for. He is also, according to various accounts a very intelligent and kind man, as well as a supremely talented actor - his role as Julian Assange in the forthcoming The Fifth Estate is already being talked of as Oscar worthy.

If the rest of you harridans don't want him I'll keep him for myself Wink

I wouldn't believe the gay rumours either. He was in a relationship with his university girlfriend for 10 years and frequently talks in interviews about wanting to be a husband and father. Granted that's not the exclusive domain of straight people

For those hoping to see little/not-so-little Ben in the Frankenstein Live screenings, I have bad news. I saw them last year and regret to report that he and Johnny Lee Miller wore loincloths for the recorded versions. I still recommend seeing both versions though.

KellyElly · 09/09/2013 14:55

Nope, he looks like he has a long thin freckled one hanging from a nest of auburn pubes. He also looks like a grown up Malachi from Children of the Corn.

LabradorMama · 09/09/2013 15:31

I find him really weird - in some photos he looks quite hot in a kooky way and others he looks like a waxwork or an alien.
As for his cock - pass. But as a PP mentioned, it would be unthinkably cruel of Mother Nature to 'bless' him with those looks AND a party sausage/skinny stabber

TeamEdward · 09/09/2013 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MalcolmTuckersMistress · 09/09/2013 16:42

He looks too pleased with himself for it to be a Walnut Whip though.

OP posts:
SugarHut · 09/09/2013 18:41

Stoat in a toupee!!!! Arf!!!!!! Grin

mrscumberbatch · 09/09/2013 18:42

Well I think he has a lovely penis Smile

It's nicknamed Kevin. It's not a pretentious cock. Keeps him down to earth.