To be considering webcam work?

[AnneNonimous]

Haven't even name changed...eeeek

I am slowly trying to start my own business. Slowly because I don't have enough money, don't yet have enough equipment and am a lone parent.

I have seriously been considering taking up online webcam work to earn extra money to buy the equipment I need.

I have checked out a few websites, you can block certain countries from seeing you so nobody I know would have to find out! Getting undressed is not necessary and infact banned on some sites outside of 'private shows' and I could do it as and when I want (ie when DS is in bed)

Have I completely lost my mind or does it make sense?

[CajaDeLaMemoria]

If I don't know you, have never communicated with you in any form and have certainly never promised you anything, could I really decieve you?

[KareninsGirl]

You're not responsible for their actions, no. But you are responsible for yours.

[WorraLiberty]

Goodness me KareninsGirl in the free world you could say the same about anything.

Dating websites are designed for single people but are often abused by married people.

The responsibility lies completely and solely with the married man.

[KareninsGirl]

Caja, knowing many men who use cam girls are deceiving their partners makes the performers part of it though.

[WorraLiberty]

If two Mumsnet members had an affair, would you blame Mumsnet for providing the website?

Genuine question.

[KareninsGirl]

Sorry worra, but that is not a fair comparison. Going on a dating site, unless it is advertised as being for those who wish to have affairs, works on the assumption that people are single.

Cam sites do not base themselves on such an assumption.

[KareninsGirl]

Same goes for mumsnet. And quite frankly, it's hardly used widely as a means of deceiving a partner!

[WorraLiberty]

Cam sites do not base themselves on such an assumption.

Cam sites don't care whether people are single because it's not their business.

Dating sites don't care either because again it's not their business.

If two Mumsnetters had an affair, again it's not Mumsnet's business.

The business lies with the married person...not the 1 million and 1 things out there in the world that might tempt them.

[YesterdayI]

I would never do this type of thing. It would gross me out that some bloke was watching. I would find it really creep and disgusting. I also dislike anything to do with the sex trade.

I am not a prude in the slightest, happy with my body etc but I would never consider doing anything to do with the sex trade.

[KareninsGirl]

You carry on justifying it. But the truth is there is a world of difference between knowing your 'client' is likely to be attached yet pleasuring yourself at his behest, and chatting on mumsnet!

Like I said, moral compass.

[ohshitimlate]

I just want to ask if It's so "ok" and nothing to be ashamed why would you need to worry about being recognised?

The answer is it is seedy as with all forms of sex work and however much you say it's consenting adults it's the top layer of a very damaging trade.

[SoftKittyWarmKitty]

ILetHimKeep20Quid can I be dead nosey and ask what you do/did for a living that paid £28k working part time? Genuine question. I work 3 days ow and earn less than half that, I'm clearly in the wrong career .

[CajaDeLaMemoria]

To be clear, I'm not being goafy, I'm just curious.

I wouldn't do webcam work. It sits wrongly in my moral code, somehow. But I still think the man would be fully responsible for watching if he was the committed the one. I think.

[WorraLiberty]

I'm not justifying it at all KareninsGirl

I'm pointing out that 'knowing your client is likely to be attached' (which let's face it, no-one is going to know for sure), is nothing to do with the person offering the service.

It's everything to do with the person who made the wedding vows/commitment to their partner.

But I see we're going to have to agree to disagree on this

[KareninsGirl]

I know you're not being goady :)

I think the responsibility lies with the man and the cam girl because unless she is completely naive she will know there is a strong likelihood the man she is performing for is attached.

If she was completely unaware then the responsibility lies totally with the man. But I doubt anyone is that blinkered.

[Sunflower49]

Worraliberty that's what I meant, you worded it more coherently though.
A married man should not be looking at camgirls.
Kareninsgirl-I wish I could pleasure myself on cam. Unfortunately to actually do it (not faking) takes me at least half an hour, and most customers aren't that patient.
I can deal with the fact you see me as having no self-respect, I know I have and I suppose it depends what you believe self-respect encompasses in terms of actions.
Ohshitimlate, probably to do with other people's perceptions and not wanting to have a conversation like this one.
Please note, my friends and family all know what I do, as does my OH (well he's usually in the room at the time)!

[WorraLiberty]

I should add, I have never done this line of work and nor would I.

But I don't judge others who choose to.

[Viviennemary]

Awful. Just don't.

[Grennie]

You don't know how you are going to feel about this long term. What if your kids came across it in the future or a friend's husband traveeling abroad decided to log in and accidentally found you.

The internet is never private. A good rule of thumb on the net, is never say or do anything on the net that you wouldn't do or say publically.

[Mintyy]

If anyone cares to look at that piece linked further up the thread by the ex porn star who moved on to being a "camgirl" (even hate the phrase), it makes for very interesting reading.

[Mintyy]

That's just it Grennie. I am so worried that Mumsnetters are being so blase about this! The truth will out and someone will find out it is you and one day in the future your children will found out too! Please please think about that.

[Lazysuzanne]

Can someone just explain exactly what they mean by 'moral compass'?

It sounds like some sort of meaningless cliché

[ILetHimKeep20Quid]

PR consultant. Trained and worked with same firm since uni, went back part time after ds1 for 4 years then retrained, had ds2 and now work part time in another field earning not as much but a lot happier.

Not cammed since falling pregnant with ds2 about 2.5 years ago but wouldn't rule it out.

[ILetHimKeep20Quid]

Why would my children find out?

[Grennie]

I know women who did various kinds of "sex work" off the internet. Some of them have been outed years later when a punter for example recognised them.

Only do this if you don't care about anyone finding out now, or in the future. If you do, it is far too risky.

And sadly, many people will judge you badly if they find out.