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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be cross DH did not come home after stag do?

90 replies

ODearMe · 08/09/2013 08:46

I dropped him off at 3pm last night and not heard from him or seen him since! He said he was only going for a few drinks and would not be going clubbing with them. So I have left the house unlocked and he did not come home. No phone call out of courtesy to let me know, so now I'm wondering all sorts. He is probably staying with a friend but how am I to know for sure he isn't in hospital? He is not answering his phone.

A couple of months ago, I had a work do and didnt intend staying out all night but I did in the end as was having a good time. I phoned DH to explain I would be staying at hotel in same room as colleague (who he has known since we were children), so he knew it was all above board. He even spoke to her too.

So on this basis, am I being unreasonable to expect a phone call or a text if staying out all night?

OP posts:

theoriginalandbestrookie · 08/09/2013 15:01

Not sure I am buying the dead battery line - how convenient that it conked out when he was away overnight.

OP if I were you I'd get my hands on his phone, without letting him know, just to make sure that no calls/texts were made during the hours it was allegedly dead.

Oh and I trust my DH 100% - it could well just end up backing up his story if there is nothing there.

phantomnamechanger · 08/09/2013 15:04

original - how can you say you trust your DH 100% , but also say you would check his phone behind his back!

theoriginalandbestrookie · 08/09/2013 15:07

Yes good point phantom.

I trust my DH 100% but then I also know he wouldn't do something like this. He is off on a lads driving weekend atm and has been overloading me with photos of them together, texts etc. etc. so I know exactly where he is and what he is doing.

My phone is open to him as his is to mine, we kind of share emails through the iphones anyway.

I guess i was just trying to make the point that I am not someone who is naturally suspicious of my spouse, but yes in the OPs scenario the phone is the best way to get actual confirmation of what happened.

ShootMeNowPlease · 08/09/2013 15:08

Has he apologised for giving you the cold shoulder when you were out all night yet? I think that's what would annoy me most. Sauce, goose, gander.

Original poster

ODearMe · 08/09/2013 15:37

Yea he has and I totally believe his story.

OP posts:

JenaiMorris · 08/09/2013 15:47

He's probably bullshitting about the battery because the truth is that he completely forgot, or thought about calling but wanted to postpone the (well deserved) earbashing. Not good, but not a hanging offence either. He's been a silly twat and owes a mahoosive apology.

NeedaWee · 08/09/2013 15:53

He's been shagging the barmaid and feels sheepish lol

JenaiMorris · 08/09/2013 16:03

If my partner is in enough of a state to not call til lunchtime, he's in no state to shag anyone

Obviously I wouldn't dream of getting so pissed. No, no not at all. Not even a few months ago when I got on the wrong train home and ended up at a station 15 miles from home and on a completely different line to the station I needed

symfem · 08/09/2013 16:32

Wouldn't worry op, boys will be boys

Strookie quite clearly doesn't trust her spouse and her paranoia has led her dp to be ultra cautious. What a buzzkill for him and his mates that he has to provide constant updates.

This level of control can often back fire, as if he was to play away, he would be ultra careful to cover his tracks

theoriginalandbestrookie · 08/09/2013 16:37

I didn't ask for the updates symfem - I'd be quite happy with a text every day or so, I seem to be getting them anyway !

Yes it must be horrible for DH to be away and have to contact his moany demanding family poor him.

BoneyBackJefferson · 08/09/2013 16:50

Bearbehind
"A cab driver that didn't want to increase his fare by taking your husband home???
Can't help but think his story is bullshit."

In various student towns and cities, taxies will refuse to give extremely drunk students lifts back to halls, the reason being that if they vomit they will lose a lot of money.

I have known taxi drivers make students go to the cash point and take £50 out for cleaning and missed fares.

JenaiMorris · 08/09/2013 17:22

I couldn't get a cab to take my friend at all, not even with me accompanying, once. We were about 35 and quite nicely presented, and whilst she was utterly trollied, she wasn't a vom risk.

Clearly the taxi drivers weren't to know that, but they don't want the grief - which is understandable really.

Bearbehind · 08/09/2013 17:25

I now know that boney but I still would be very dubious of this story.

At best he's a shit bag with no consideration of what hs wife might be going through by not coming home.

At worst- who knows?

Campari · 08/09/2013 18:39

Sounds like a standard stag night to me.

Yes, he should have called, definately. However, these things happen...old friends meeting up, having a jolly good piss-up...time flies & before you know it its 4am, your falling out of a taxi with a neon tiara on your head & a sambuca-stained tutu round your waist.

What else do you expect from a stag-night, coffees & Battenburg, then home in time for Antiques Roadshow?

My DH goes on monthly nights out with his RAF mates, and everytime I drop him off, he says "oohh Ill just stay for a couple."
I then reply "So you'll be home in half an hour then? "
We both know he wont be back till after 1am. Couple of pints my arse, who does he think he's kidding

symfem · 09/09/2013 21:55

Stookie you got him well trained, checking in like that in case you think he is up to something

Bear - your negativity is dubious. Looking to stir trouble for no reason it seems

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