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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kissing a family member on the lips isn't weird

190 replies

DrinkFromMyFountain · 07/09/2013 14:44

I kissed my sister on the lips today to say goodbye in front of my friend. My friend afterwards said to me that she found it weird and almost incestuous Shock.

It was a peck not a full on snog!

I kiss ds like this as well (although he is only a baby)

OP posts:
DiseasesOfTheSheep · 07/09/2013 15:28

I think it's weird and lip kissing should be purely with one's romantic partner. But each to their own...

A good firm handshake is how we do things in my family Grin

Floggingmolly · 07/09/2013 15:32

Dh and the kids only. Any of the wider family would be weird.

throughgrittedteeth · 07/09/2013 15:34

Normal here.

sazzle82 · 07/09/2013 15:34

I kiss all my aunties, uncles and cousins on the cheek. Small children, neices and nephews on the lips. When I was a child I kissed the adults in the family on the lips. It's just how my family is, on my dad's side in particular. In fact, when we all see each other in Christmas day it takes bloody ages to leave as you have to go round everyone giving them a goodbye kiss. If more than one group is leaving at the same time you end up in a kind of queue system. It's bonkers, but it's how it's always been.

Funnily enough, the only family member I rarely, if ever, hug and kiss is my sister. However, if I did kiss her on the lips I would not consider it incestuous in any way. Very strange way to look at something.

CailinDana · 07/09/2013 15:35

This is an interesting one for me because in before DS was born I would have said "weird" but once DS started volunteering kisses he would only kiss on the lips because that's what he'd seen DH and I doing. So I kiss my children and DH on the lips but I wouldn't dream of kissing anyone else in my family anywhere but on the cheek. I imagine DS and DD will kiss on the lips when DD is old enough for that as that's what they're used to.

everlong · 07/09/2013 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetiepie1979 · 07/09/2013 15:45

Normal here

Jan49 · 07/09/2013 15:47

I would only kiss a partner on the lips, everyone else on the cheek.

LynetteScavo · 07/09/2013 15:47

It's weird.

whois · 07/09/2013 15:48

Normal here too

LynetteScavo · 07/09/2013 15:49

If my Dsis kissed me on the lips I would do an elaborate spitty out thing, and wipe my mouth on my sleeve.

Pawprint · 07/09/2013 15:52

Fine if you feel ok with it. My FIL had, in the past, tried to kiss me on the lips stupid fucking lech and I hated that.

squoosh · 07/09/2013 15:54

I definitely haven't kissed my siblings or parents on the lips since I was about 3 years old.

We're more of a huggy family. Thank God.

CatsWearingTutus · 07/09/2013 15:55

I find mothers kissing children on the lips very weird too but I think I'm in the minority on hat one? The other day I saw a mother kissing her daughter on the lips while they were both playing around and sticking out their tongues! That made me very uncomfortable but I suppose its harmless?

cocolepew · 07/09/2013 15:57

We're not a kissy family, I'll kiss the DDs on the lips but that's it. MIL is always trying to kiss people, she still hasn't worked out that nobody wants to kiss her. I had to tell her to stop kissing me when I was first married, I don't like her and it freaked me out.

She went through a , shortlived, phase of trying to kiss DH on the lips until he told her to stop.

Lavenderhoney · 07/09/2013 15:58

My dh family kiss each other on the cheeks for hello AND goodbye. I hate it as I come from a very non kissy touchy family.

One awful uncle always goes for my lips " haha its a joke" I told dh to tell him to stop as uncle ignores me. Dh told me " its his way he is trying to be funny"

Dh and I had a conversation about boundaries ( where i shouted a bit Blush and now I just back away and nod primly at the uncle:)

Cupcake1985 · 07/09/2013 15:58

Lips are only for DH and babies and small children. As children get older I think only lips for their parents but once out of primary school it should naturally fade out. My Mil tries to kiss DH on the lips and we both hate it. It's weird. When she tried to do it to me when we met it made me annoyed. Feels too intimate to presume its ok to do to people. But then everything she did used to annoy me.....

Babyroobs · 07/09/2013 15:59

I find it odd too, not sure why but my parents never liked relatives kissing us on the lips because they reckoned that's where how my Dad caught the cold sore virus when he was a child. I hate to see kids and babies being kissed on the lips, just doesn't feel right at all.

MyNameIsLola · 07/09/2013 16:01

Not weird at all, I kiss DH, my DCs, nieces/nephews and my sister on the lips.

Weirdly, my mother isn't at all affectionate so I think I'm demonstrative because of my grandparents because I certainly wasn't raised in a kissy kissy household (or even a huggy one).

I can understand why people find kissing adults a bit odd, some people aren't into physical contact, but your own children?!

Bearandcub · 07/09/2013 16:02

My children, my partner and babies/toddlers. That's it.

Otherwise, kiss on the forehead or cheeks.

everlong · 07/09/2013 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pachacuti · 07/09/2013 16:09

I find mothers kissing children on the lips very weird too

DD2 grabs my face between both hands firmly, squishes so that my lips pout out, and then lunges in for a kiss. I don't get much say about the location...

fieldfare · 07/09/2013 16:12

Not weird at all, I'm from a very huggy, cuddly and Kissy family. Dh's family are Italian and they're very demonstrative too, always kisses and little tentative hugs when I first got together with dh. Now they take after me and give you a full on cuddle as well.
I'd not seen some of my friends from the kids school all summer, so got quite a few hugs and kisses on the cheek on Thursday. Being demonstrative is totally normal for us.

Salmotrutta · 07/09/2013 16:12

I'd be uncomfortable with kissing anyone but DH on the lips.

I hug my DC because we aren't kissy types but I did kiss the tops of their heads or cheeks when they were children.

Same with the DGC.

And frankly, since toddlers can be a bit snottery it's maybe safer to restrict kissing to head tops in their case! Grin

PresidentServalan · 07/09/2013 16:20

It would look weird to me too! I am close to my parents but we are not a tactile family. I don't kiss anyone and I hate being touched. I work with women who are quite tactile (hand on someone's shoulder, hugging etc) and I HATE it! Even when people touch me in shops it makes me stabby!