For my children to not have two cooked dinners?

[mrsnw]

So from next week my two, dd 4 and ds6, will be school dinners everyday. Am I being unreasonable to not cook them a dinner in the evening and just give them a sandwich or beans on toast?? What do others serve up?

Just out of curiosity , all those who have kids so unfulfilled from there school lunches and are having to provide proper cooked meals and extra snacks on top, doesn't that cost you more money than if you put them on packed lunches where you could provide bigger portions or more filling food or even food they will actually eat. Doesn't it kind of defeat the object of them eating the school meals of its not actually saving you the time effort and money?

"I don't think a sandwich is enough though. A toasted sandwich or panini would be ok but I think they need something warm."

Sorry but at the ludicrous idea that a sandwich is fine if it's served at a high temperature, but not if it's served at room temperature.

"I think it's actually a very British thing to dislike food and not want a nice meal in the evening."

Who dislikes food and doesn't want a nice meal in the evening?

I also find these sort of threads really weird. I'm be utterly unimpressed with a snack tea (hot or cold) for my evening meal. I like an actual dinner (which, again, may be hot or cold) rather than a sandwich or a boiled egg.

I produce a dinner for everyone every night and we all eat together. It's part of the social life of our family. In the summer this might be a meal served at room temperature, but hot food is lovely on cold dark evenings. It would never occur to me to think: the kids had a school dinner so I don't need to include them in the family evening meal.

I was responding to the allegation upthread (which has been made frequently on similar threads) that somehow it is a 'Brit' obsession with wanting a cooked meal in the evening. On the contrary, speaking as someone a Bit Forrin, I think that the idea of 'tea' as something not involving hot food is a v Brit thing. And is part and parcel of a culture that isn't really mad about nice food anyway.

...and no, a sandwich doesn't count as a nice meal to me. It is not something you actively look forward to, and think 'ah well, at 7pm I will have my lovely sandwich and the day will be over and I can relax and savour it....'

"It would never occur to me to think: the kids had a school dinner so I don't need to include them in the family evening meal."

How lucky you are then, that assuming you have a DP/DH, he is home early and there can be a "family evening meal". If I included mine, they'd be up until 9.30pm.

I don't know why I come on these threads, they always turn into competitive parenting, and are full of people who are smug and self-congratulatory and feeling sorry for the children of other posters.

I do a 'proper' dinner every evening, hot or cold, I don't rely on school dinners to provide my kids with micronutrients! My son doesnt really like sandwiches so he has school dinners but when they are allowed to choose pasta with mashed potato and a roll, I am not convinced they get enough vitamins especially when most of the veg is overcooked....

Whereismycaffeinedrip I only send my dc to school dinners occasionally on a Friday as there is never any food on a Friday as Friday is shopping day! It is expensive and I know it doesn't fill them, they do enjoy going to school dinners to be with their peers, it would cost me £20 a week for them to have school lunches I couldn't afford that every week!

So an obsession with wanting a cooked meal in the evening and the idea of "tea" not involving hot food are both British? Well now I am confused!

Are school dinners at lunchtime?

Are you not allowed two cooked meals a day?

This must be an English thing, most odd.

Actually thinking about it there isn't anything wrong with something small but filling after school, if that's all the child requires (from reading this thread schools must differ quite widely on the quality of their hot lunches so it would be a case-by-case thing surely?), I think I'm just projecting my own childhood onto the topic tbh.

My mother refused to cook us a meal on the basis that we'd 'already been fed at school' and that we 'couldn't be that hungry' - we'd go to bed with rumbling stomachs. But she was actually generally very neglectful.

It would feel wrong for me.

Surely it doesn't matter.
I like a big meal. We like to sit down to ... a big meal. I like it when dh is home in time to eat with us.
But there are plenty of other times we have a lighter meal. Nothing wrong with beans on toast.
I really don't see his as an issue.

I'm not feeling sorry for other people's kids. If their parents are happy with a snack tea and eating separately from them, fair enough. I wouldn't choose to do that. And is never heard of the practice until I came across it on MN.

Incidentally, if one of DH or I will not be back in time for tea, the one who is has dinner with the kids and the other reheats their portion later.

If our school did hot lunches, I wouldn't give DD one at home as well in the evening.

Although she would eat sandwich/snacky meals twice a day over 'proper' ones given half a chance in any case.

I remember having a cooked dinner at school which was never nice and then a sandwich at night when my parents had a nice hot meal. It doesn't take much to cook a bit more

School dinners are tiny & often not balanced or nutricious so a home cooked meal before bed is needed. Kids are growing & need plenty of nutrients & energy. My BIL rations food out to his dc so they gorge in other peoples houses because they do not get enough at home. This is an extreme example but it is important to feed your kids well so they don't get the urge to binge/snack on rubbish.

YANBU, 2 of mine have hot lunches and it's a relief to know they can have sandwiches for dinner and I don't feel guilty about it.

Although, I had hot lunches, including a huge bowl of sponge and custard, and remember coming home seriously hungry - snacking all afternoon and eating a big hot dinner (supper).

for me, its always the suggested alternatives to a cooked dinner that make me

german style sounds great, swiss style sounds yum, spanish suggestions also good

then we come to the british alternative: the sandwich on processed plasticky bread, probably with some nasty processed filling, or beans on toast (which i always think of as a hot meal, so maybe it is suggested as a snack meal rather than a cold meal)

and thats why people go 'bleurgh'

proper sandwich on healthy home made bread with loads of salad in, or selection of cold cuts plus nibbly salad stuff actually sounds a nice idea for a simple tea

I always do a cooked dinner (but a fast one) on Wednesdays as DD has swimming after afterschool club in crèche (where she gets hot dinner) and school to 2pm.

She goes to crèche 2 other afternoons too, but may have something lighter the 2 afternoons she gets collected from afterschool activities in school so straight home. Those 2 days I will always do full dinner for her. The other 2 days she has crèche so gets a hot dinner early afternoon, I MAY do a hot dinner again or it MAY be something cold or less substantial. (If she has not eaten a lot that day, which can happen, I will definitely do something I know she'll eat).

But if she has eaten well already, I am happy to give her something smaller. Especially if it's a night I am less organized so making dinner later, when she's in bed, for DH and I works well.

As long as she has enough to eat, that's the important thing - and a slice of hot or cold quiche with coleslaw and cherry tomatoes may be better for her (health wise and/or her actually eating/finishing it wise) than a plate of chips and cheap chicken nuggets, or mashed potato and a chop. And if she's hungry before going to bed, she always gets a cookie with a glass of milk anyway and can have an apple if she wants more.

My toddler is only two, but because I don't really like sandwiches (and I've yet to convince him that eating salad is a good idea) I give him two hot meals a day. If I have time, the evening meal will be a grain-based dish, such as rice, pasta or quinoa, but if I'm in a rush, cheese and onions on toast or jacket potatoes it is. I always serve these with a side of the cold vegetables he will eat, such as chopped tomatoes and avocado, and follow up with a fruit salad.

Of course you are being unreasonable to not do it simply because they have already had a cooked meal that day.

You wouldn't be unreasonable however to serve it on occasion for a quick dinner.

I never get the mentality of those who think kids should only get 1 cooked meal a day! Not that only having one cooked meal is a problem, provided it's balanced.

Can someone please explain how this works please?

Do children get hit "dinners" at lunchtime and then a sandwich at dinner time and that's it?

That sounds like a lot of hours without eating!

Just reading further through this - I can't believe the number of people who have issues with cooked meals.

My kids have two per day, sometimes three.

It's the content of the meal that counts, not the temperature - but again, why just decided 'no more hot dinners' just because they have a small, not great quality school dinner.

Your kids will remember your culinary efforts, that's for sure.

No longer than going 7-12 from breakfast til lunch

Most do give snacks after school and there's usually salary bits or fruit/yogurt with the sandwich. It's just lunch and dinner reversed.

I have to add that we almost never eat sandwiches. Uncooked meal does not equal "sandwich".

We are a very multicultural family, so do not subscribe to any one right way of eating. We eat what we fancy, what's quick and what's as nutritious as possible. Hot, cold, who cares. We sit at the table together some days - some days we don't. I'm working from home part time, and DH works from home, as well, so we are together and talk a lot during the day. Mealtimes are not our only chance to catch up. I appreciate that that might change after DS goes to primary next year. Still doesn't mean that I have to cook a hot dinner, unless we fancy one.