For my children to not have two cooked dinners?

[mrsnw]

So from next week my two, dd 4 and ds6, will be school dinners everyday. Am I being unreasonable to not cook them a dinner in the evening and just give them a sandwich or beans on toast?? What do others serve up?

In Germany it is very common to have a hot lunch at work/school/kindergarten and "only" a sandwich in the evening.
(And heavy wholewheat German bread is definately substantial enough. )

Although admittedly the kindergarten and my work canteen serve meals which are tasty and healthy, and where my children are, they are served a 2nd breakfast, lunch and afternoon tea, eat at a communal table and can take as much food as they like.

Can't kids having a school meal go back for seconds, at least of the carb stuff -> potatoes, rice, pasta, if they're hungry? They can't really expect an older athletic kid to eat the same as a small bookworm. How can kids concentrate if they're still hungry?

Depends on the child.

If my DD has a school dinner (they are very nice dinners btw!!!), she wont eat a cooked evening meal, she just doesnt have the appetite for it.

I don't understand the "only one hot meal" thing: I usually make soup (from scratch: each one lasts 2-3 days) for lunch for me and DS if its not a nursery day and then have hot dinner in the evening as well.

DS is fed at nursery (including tea) but still has a small amount of whatever we have as "supper" before bed. Means we all sit around the table together and its much better for him to have protein/veg with us than have a biscuit because he's hungry at bedtime.

My two boys (10 and 12) don't have a cooked meal in the evening if they've had one at school. They have sandwiches (ham, cheese, tuna), beans on toast, scrambled egg on toast, jacket potato etc. If sandwiches they have carrot/cucumber sticks with them, whatever the meal they have fruit, and often a piece of flapjack or muffin. They also both still like milk with their meal, so there is really no problem nutritionally - protein, carbs, fruit and veg. Why would they need a hot meal?

I've never really stressed about the hot dinners thing. We have, for tea, what I feel like doing, regardless of whether ds has had a hot lunch or not. Sometimes he's even had sandwiches twice! In this hot weather we've had, my kitchen has been up to 42 degrees at times, and I'm blowed if I'm putting the oven on in that heat, so we've frequently had days of sandwiches and salads etc. IMO, heating food up doesn't magically make it more nutritious! Last week, we went out for breakfast; had bacon, eggs etc at about 11am. Didn't have "lunch" as such, as we just weren't hungry, but ds did have a banana and half a punnet of grapes. Asked him what he fancied for tea and he said he wasn't that hungry so he had 3 weetabix before he went to bed. He's fine and doesn't seem too scarred by the incident

If they are anything like our schools dinners, they may need another dinner tbh.

If your dcs dont have a cooked dinner in the evening, does that mean that you dont have a dinner either?

To all those who say "does it matter which meal is sandwiches and which a hot dinner" I would have to say it does.

You don't know how much your child has eaten at school.
You don't know what's in a school dinner and neither you and the child know how it's prepared.

Surely the more complex meal should be the one you give to your children and the "easy" meal one for the school. Failing that two proper meals.

Having said that mine quite likes a picnic tea in the summer!

My ds 7 has just started having school dinners. He asks for a snack plate when he first gets home (a selection of fruit and veggie bits with cheese nuts crackers breadstix etc). He grazes on this while he has some downtime and watches tv. Later on he has toast or something on toast or a hot dog / fried egg sandwich generally something hot and fairly carby. He still has a cup of tea/cocoa and a biscuit at bed time.

And can I just add to those saying eat together, if your DH doesn't get in till after the kids are out to their activities, that doesn't work! I work (from home) till six thirty, then four nights a week there is an activity from seven for one boy or the other. So when I cook for us it is too late for them to eat. We all sit round the table for breakfast and start each day together though!

Yanbu.

In fact, I just realised that around 4 days out of 7 I don't have a single hot meal a day. A cold meal doesn't necessarily equal "snack" (although some days we just graze), "unsatisfying" or "lacking in nutrition". Often things are more nutritious uncooked.

We very rarely eat as a family anyway, so if mine don't have a hot dinner in the evening, I tend not to either. If my husband isn't on night shifts etc we eat after the kids have gone to bed. I can't eat dinner before 8ish anyway.

We eat together with a large extended family over the weekend so I'm happy enough just to sit and talk to them while they eat.

DH has only been home in time for a family supper once this week. He has a job which requires long hours and a commute to get home. I generally cook twice and sit with the children while they're eating and then eat with DH if he's home before about 10pm, if I know it's going to be later I'll just cook the once, eat with the children and plate him a dinner for later. I feel very strongly that I need to sit and talk at the table with whoever is eating, a shoved-down line supper is a miserable thing!

My two have a hot meal at school/nursery then usually sandwiches or crackers with cheese/ham, cucumber sticks, tomatoes and fruit. They are absolutely fine with that and don't need anyone feeling sorry for them thanks, how ridiculous!

Those asking why don't people eat with their kids as a family, well if you are lucky enough to have a DP/DH who is home early, great, but that doesn't apply to everyone. DH gets home at about 8.15, and the DC are in bed asleep by then! They eat around 5-5.30, DH and I eat around 8.30/9ish. We all eat together as a family at the weekend.

Hey choceyes that curry sounds delicious! Bless him, to have been so hungry throughout the day.

I'm caribbean, and we usually have a hot meal in the evening too. DH is german, and so we alternate as in Germany, hot meals are only served at lunch time. My side of the family is all slim, and DH side are a bit tubbier. Don't know if that is connected to the eating habits though.

OP it all depends on your kids needs and habits. But I wouldn't wholly rely on the school providing all of the nutritional needs of your children. Plus, our kids prefer foods from our two cultures as opposed to the school meals.

YANBU - Although easier if you eat with them, but if you have to cook separately for yourself and your DC then a sandwich etc will suffice. I seem to spend hours in the kitchen preparing food for my two, one who is diabetic and the other gluten/dairy free - they are both picky eaters and I just don't want to eat the stuff they like. Sometimes it's a hot meal, other times it's light (like a sandwich) or frankfurters and baked beans and so on. Depends on time really. You can heat up a tin of rice pudding and some tinned/fresh fruit to get some of their "5 a day". Give them a snack after school like cheese/cold meat/carrot/hummus, if you can after school and one an hour pre bedtime - snacks (not crisps/cake) are really important - more so than a hot dinner IMO. Anyway, do what you can, depending on the time that you have.

sometimes ds has cheese or beabs on toast for dinner or picky bits other times a proper meal he is not always that hungry or just wants to snack

Someone mentioned Switzerland upthread - I'm half Swiss and at my grandparents house we used to have soup and apple tart, boiled new potatoes and cheese or cold meats, salads and a big bowl of crisps - light and easy. Same thing goes for Spain - main meal (hot) and then siesta then a much lighter meal (salad and fried meat for example) in the evening.

Why can't a cold meal be just as nutritional as a hot meal? I don't get it!

Also, surely beans on toast is a cooked meal? You have to toast the bread and warm up the beans.

I don't think a second meal is needed at that age. When they are older they will most probably want one, but I think at that age something like soup, bubble and squeak, casseroles, pasta, eggs or beans on toast would be plenty. Followed by fruit and yogurt as well.

I don't think a sandwich is enough though. A toasted sandwich or panini would be ok but I think they need something warm.

I wouldn't rely on a school dinner to provide sustinence or nutrition tbh.

We had a sample dinner and the portion sizes were generous

Ive been to a 'sample' school dinner event, Ive also been in school while lunches were on and believe me, there was a stark difference between the sample dinners and the reality.

We supposedly have 'freshly baked bread daily' Bull. Maybe half a slice of packet bread, but never freshly baked. same with the 'salad bar'

They are ok, but I would base any decision on what to give in the evening on a proper look at what they are getting at lunch time.

We eat a nice meal in the evening. Including the children, both of whom have school dinners (poor things).

I think it's actually a very British thing to dislike food and not want a nice meal in the evening. Whether that is hot or cold.

My dc come home from school more hungry after having a school lunch than when they have a packed lunch, the portion size is small and it doesn't not keep them filled up till teatime!