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Original poster

To have smiled sweetly and said nothing to this school bully

515 replies

DrinkFromMyFountain · 05/09/2013 14:55

14 years ago I left school. There was one girl who made my life hell, said a load of nasty things about me and told me I would never amount to anything. She also said I'd end up single and Childless at 30 working in a shop. (NB I see nothing wrong with this, but it was meant in a horrible, nasty, put downy way). This was amongst various other things she said and did to try to make my life a misery.

This morning I took my car to the car wash and saw her working there washing cars.

I ordered my car wash for my naice car with my baby DS in the back and said "fancy seeing you here". She made a grimace of a face and carried on with her work.

Karma you beauty.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 05/09/2013 19:41

SDTG - wanting your now adult former bully to be capable of looking back and feeling ashamed of their behaviout doesn't make you a bad person

quirrelquarrel · 05/09/2013 19:42

Back at my parents' house for the summer. I live pretty close to where an absolute bitch from my old school lives, and I just saw her walking past the front garden. She checked her phone and paused for a minute or so and I was just watching her from the window wanting to chuck something at her.
Nice to find this thread now Wink

Boosterseat · 05/09/2013 19:43

It was the irony for me, she tried to insult me by saying I would end up working in a supermarket and she was the one serving me behind the checkout with cats bum face.

I would like to say that I don't take pleasure in others misfortune but with the spite, physical violence, manipulation and suffering the victims of bullying can go through, fuck it I'd rather rub the salt in.

If it makes me a shit person then so be it. I was lucky and had a great time at school, just 1 girl with a few off the cuff cultish remarks in my situation. Like I said up thread, the best revenge is to live well but I have to call bullshit on people saying they feel not one little bit of joy when the tables are turned.

ProphetOfDoom · 05/09/2013 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slurredlines · 05/09/2013 19:45

I'm with marmalade et al.

I used to have a well paid office job and wear posh suits for work. I hated it, it sucked my soul dry, I wasn't happy.

I got made redundant and became a SAHM and do that most of the time, the rest of the time I do a poorly paid job which I love, and which makes me happy (youth work).

I would find it most amusing if someone from school decided that my hourly rate of pay had meant that they had succeeded and I hadn't.

I have succeeded in being happy. What anyone else does is their business. I wonder how happy someone is if their sense of self esteem relies so much on being materially more successful than others.

timidviper · 05/09/2013 19:49

I don't know what has happened to the girls who picked on me at school. They have never been seen on Friends Reunited and not noticed them on Facebook, although they may have different names if married. Although I am a bit curious I don't really care

I am very fat (the only negative!) but have a lovely husband, wonderful DCs, good job, nice house and overall a blessed life and that is enough for me.

AnneElliott · 05/09/2013 19:49

I had this too with a girl that made my life a misery as I was keen on working hard. I can't repeat what I said as MN wouldn't like it, but I have no problem with a bit of smugness when you had years of bullying.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 05/09/2013 19:49

I interviewed the girl who made my life hell for a temporary factory job. Gave her the job too, but stopped short of assigning her to the department that I ran and shipped her off to the worst another department.

belatedmaybe · 05/09/2013 19:50

Wanting them to fully understand it/know that pain is totally different from wanting them to live it - I.e be suicidal because of things they don't deserve or be the parent of a child who is suicidal because of things they don't deserve - it isn't clear to me which you mean sdtg

MarmaladeTwatkins · 05/09/2013 19:55

"If a person is put 'in control' for want of a better expression, it will generally be because the other person is working in the service industry. I can't definitively speak for others on this thread but genuinely believe the focus is on putting themself back in control rather than looking down on anyone."

How odd.

So conversely, I work in retail. If someone who bullied me came into my shop and I had to attend to her, would that put her in control? I think not, since I'm not a fourteen year old being cornered in the schoolchildren again.

Control is a state of mind. Bugger all to do with jobs. It's funny watching people making up justifications for this, I must say.

MarmaladeTwatkins · 05/09/2013 19:57

Cornered in the school toilets, that should say.

Celadorthepinksequineddragon · 05/09/2013 20:00

I guess by 'people' you mean me MarmaladeTwatkins, being that you keep typing out my posts Grin.

Personally, i'm happy for us to disagree - I think you're completely missing the point, you have every right to think the same of me.

MarmaladeTwatkins · 05/09/2013 20:10

No. By people I mean the people who are writing the posts that I refer to. There are a few!

I'm not missing the point at all. What point is it that you think I'm missing?!

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes · 05/09/2013 20:11

I got bullied at school, being a teenager is a hellish time for most people, 'bullies' included, I'm sure they were doing the best they could in the confusion of that time. Some of them probably had horrible home lives that I knew nothing about. I hope that they are all happy and fulfilled in their lives, I am.

I wouldn't gloat about any of them having become a drug addict any more than I would gloat about someone having cancer. Sneering at people for their job also leaves a bad tast in my mouth.

Holding a resentment towards people from my past is like me drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.

Forgiveness is a gift I give myself. (Sounds a bit wanky I know but it's true)

Fakebook · 05/09/2013 20:14

Well the girls who bullied me don't work at all, had their first babies at age 16/17 and now have wrinkle and spot ridden faces thanks to years of drink, drugs and endless pregnancies.
Whenever I see any of them I smile inwardly at their crows feet and old, dull grey faces.

Likeaninjanow · 05/09/2013 20:23

I sometimes see the girl who bullied me at school. She's a heroin addict, sells the big issue & is well known to local police.

It's only now that I can see what a terrible life she had at home. I feel really sad for her. She was just a child with nothing, who saw another child with everything.

inneedofrain · 05/09/2013 20:29

I know I'm late to the party!

My school life was hell I do not this mildly I mean HELL

Put it this way I was fat, geeky, bookish grade a student and the solo career for my grand mother

I had 1 friend for 10 years a lad that used to get into trouble all the time lets call him j I used to help him out with maths etc he was nice to me ie actually talked to me!

Anyway I got invited to the school reunion I was not going to go dh talked me into as I pull up in my merc, wearing one of my work suits from jaeger and wearing my jimmy c heels I felt a little out of place! In pulls a nice BMW and out get a handsome man wearing a lovely suit and to my delight I was face to face with J despite what every expect he had done exceptionally well for himself, we did a hour of the reunion had people that made my life hell telling me they always knew I would do well, that they really like me BULLSHIT! J had a load of women propositioning him, we both felt Sorry for them and left together and went and had a lovely meal reminiscing and catching up both married etc

I felt sweet for about 5seconds to show them they didn't ruin my life, they i had a great job, wonderful clothes, cr etc they all I felt was pity they never even tried to be anything, they just wanted to pick on a kid, I walked out a d never went back!

Oh and j and I are still friends we are meeting up next month.

dysfunctionallynormal · 05/09/2013 20:31

i think we're entitled to feel a little smug satisfaction when we bump into school bullies who made our lives hell and thought they were superior and better than us - and now see them either living the 'ordinary' life we live or not the hugely successful one they thought they would be living.

my story is a little different. i'm asian and i was bullied rotten by 98% of the asian pupils at my secondary school (apart from the first years!). reason being that i refused point blank to follow the crowd, would admit-without any shame-that i was not a muslim and didn't believe in organised religion and would eat non halal meat and hang out with my english friends. i was also very vocal about fighting back against the patriarchy and being my own person. they hated me for it and made my life absolute hell. they almost destroyed what little self esteem i had and pushed me to the brink of suicide. most of the bullies were actually behaving in a non muslim fashion themselves but for some reason the rules were always different for me.

fast forward to today. the majority of those bullies are now in loveless arranged marriages and stuck in a cycle of monotony, dependency and drudgery. i feel no satisfaction to see them in that position because i wouldn't wish that kind of life on anyone, but the temptation to go up to them and say "well, what do you think now? Are you sorry for how you behaved?" is so strong. i'm not going to do that obviously - the look on their faces when they saw me was good enough! lol!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/09/2013 20:37

Belatedmaybe - there is a small part of me that would actually like them to experience my pain. They did not care for one instant about how much I was hurting. I know I should be the bigger person, but given that I am currently in a depressive slump, my first since coming off the antidepressants I had been on for over 7 years, because of the depression caused by the bullies (not my first time on ADs either), I am failing at that.

dysfunctionallynormal · 05/09/2013 20:39

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius - i know it still hurts sweetheart, that doesn't make you a bad person. but you know what? WE won. WE MADE IT! :-) Look at us all here today having a good giggle over them :-) xxxx

MarmaladeTwatkins · 05/09/2013 20:39

"Anyway I got invited to the school reunion I was not going to go dh talked me into as I pull up in my merc, wearing one of my work suits from jaeger and wearing my jimmy c heels I felt a little out of place! In pulls a nice BMW and out get a handsome man wearing a lovely suit and to my delight I was face to face with J despite what every expect he had done exceptionally well for himself, we did a hour of the reunion had people that made my life hell telling me they always knew I would do well, that they really like me BULLSHIT! J had a load of women propositioning him, we both felt Sorry for them and left together and went and had a lovely meal reminiscing and catching up both married etc"

Isn't this similar to Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion?

Grin
MarmaladeTwatkins · 05/09/2013 20:40

SDTG, you are a wonderful, kind woman and I luffs you very much Flowers

dysfunctionallynormal · 05/09/2013 20:41

DrinkFromMyFountain - I'd go back to the same car wash each time your car needed cleaning - and ask for her specifically cos she "does such a fantastic job!" :-D

FreeWee · 05/09/2013 20:45

My primary school bully got pregnant at 14. She used to bully me because I was ugly and of course no one fancied me. So I saw it as karma because I couldn't get pregnant aged 14 because no body wanted to have sex with me Grin

heartisaspade · 05/09/2013 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.