school crack down on hair colour

[mrsfuzzy]

new school year and problems already! ds is 14 and like a lot of girls her age experiments with her hair, for the first time during the school hols she tried a semi permanent raspberry colour on her red hair [god knows why- ex p let her do it] anyhow i was cool with that as it doesn't look that obvious, as she washes it it becomes less obvious, however school are cracking down on these things make up, uniform etc as they did last year, but she brought a note home yesterday saying to remove the dye or steps will be taken, i wasn't fazed by this as each wash reduces the colour, but how do people 'get away' with flouting the rules about such things one girl has dyed her hair jet black with blue streaks over the hols and mum told me she is not going to remove the colour for anyone, one lad keeps one side of his head shaved in spite of repeated warnings, mum says she ignores them, i accept the school policy that's not the problem but aibu to wonder why it seems the 'easy targets get picked on' to set an example? any thoughts or similar experiences anyone?

That is au natural looking make-up according to Jackie Magazine, so slightly toned down.

I am definitely a tea cup rebel - I use a mug.

Oh, TUF, give them a break. How do you know they're 'tea cup rebels'? For all you know they're wrestling with redefining their own genderqueer identity. Adolescence is a time for experimenting with your appearance. If they all wore Nice Neat Clothes the world would be a sadder place. IMO.

I deeply, deeply regret the restrained appearance of most of my late teenage years. For which I thoroughly made up later.

UglyFuckling has touched on the heart of why I hate the idea of teenagers seeing self-expression through their appearance.

I got a huge amount of grief on another thread where I said that ultimately I choose my kids' clothes (though I take their opinion on board) and that when they get a job, they can choose whatever they want with their own money. The argument was that kids need to find a way to express themselves.

Let them express themselves through their schoolwork, the books they read, the friends they make, their political views, whatever. The idea that a view can be expressed through hair color really cheapens the idea of self-expression.

The point is that make up is either not suitable for professional environments (therefore the HT is unprofessional) or she is talking utter bollocks. Neither of which will inspire respect in her pupils or imbue her with a sense of authority.

I also think the 'I can do stuff because I'm an adult, and I can tell you what to do because you're a child' position is really stupid.

Well yes you're right, dyeing your hair is hardly groundbreaking. So why the fuss? The attitude of schools that stamp on it makes it out to be some kind of big bad evil - exactly what teenagers want.

I don't think the point is whether their rebellion is really significant. What do you want, teenagers cutting their arm off and grafting it onto their face before you'll be adequately impressed? We're grown-ups, we're not supposed to think it's great. But the kind, grown-up thing to do is let them be daft and be teenagers. There's a point to all that testing and experimenting - it's a developmental stage.

daftdame

Something like that :)

well, I've agreed with DD (who is 15, just started year 11) that if it was as she said, then the hypocrisy of the Head was bad. But I did emphasise that rules are rules, and that everyone has signed up to them, so no make up means no make up not that I intend stopping DD wearing the little bit of foundation/concealer and occasional swipe of mascara as at nearly 16 she's old enough to figure out consequences for herself.

However, the Head's not got off to the best start really, pissing off the Y11s, and making herself look stupid. will try and get feedback from teacher friends and see what the staff make of her

But why shouldn't they express themselves through what they wear, or dye their hair? My degree is in Fashion, I teach a creative subject. I love the ones who dress strangely. Much better than would be WAGs or X factor sameness

this is all true - so why do teachers make such a hoo har about it that it becomes a rebellion - best ignored i should think!

Well, I agree it's pointless but would comply on uniform rules, hair colours etc. But any sexist establishment who says my boy has to cut off his hair had better be prepared to make all pupils do the same regardless of which genitals they have.

So should they all look like clones then? Appearance is very individual and says a lot about the person. Why is is lazy to not want to express individuality through books or films? Doesn't it take a brain to express individuality through appearance or is that too lowbrow? We're talking anthropology here......what about those who express their individuality through appearance and are still super intelligent? I have taught plenty of those. It seems a very narrow minded attitude that the only way to be individual is through excelling in certain areas.

Nowl i think your very reasonable to your child!i was never allowed to dye my hair till i was 16 then constantly bleached or dyed it.
I have no problem with teachers with funky hair, it doesnt affect their ability to do their job.
Iv worked in high market shop,and then to banking and neither had problem with my pink hair

orangeandemons, I wouldn't like to see any kid with pink hair OR turned out like a WAG (I'd be extremely upset with either). Point is, great thinkers don't express themselves through the way they look. It's just a distraction.

I sincerely do not believe this because I'm a fan of conformism - it's because I believe that school is a place of intellectual development and not some kind of runway or display case.

oh dear.

so that's it is it? the thickies are busy dying their hair and wearing makeup while the intellectual ones are reading Tolstoy and getting ready to change the world.

good grief.

I suppose it doesn't matter if your child has no interest in expressing themselves through their appearance and many don't, it just doesn't interest them but it doesn't mean they'll wish to express themselves in any other way either, they may just enjoy fading into the background. School is a place for intellectual stimulation, so is university and there you will see all sorts of expression unconstrained by parents and teachers, it must be a total relief for some kids.

I'm sure it's elitist to draw any inference from whether a girl is more interested in makeup or literature.

of course you don't see the point unless you are a teenager!
neither do I now.

that's the point.

I dyed my hair and had a bracelet of safety pins( punk era) I looked a complete prat. it doesn't last.

however if schools/parents make out this phase is dangerous and to be squashed it seems so much more seductive to them instead of the adults laughing or ignoring it.

my 4 have been at times goths, emos, rockers and wag look alikes but that's fine as its transitory.

schools should concentrate on what really matters and that's not hair.

crowler "...great thinkers do not express themselves by the way they look."

??? Now who is being elitist? Bit of a generalisation isn't it.. How do you define 'great thinker' not one who is artisti or experimental in the fashion sense I take it. You don't have to be stupid to have bad hair and make up. You don' t have to be clever either.

I also think the 'I can do stuff because I'm an adult, and I can tell you what to do because you're a child' position is really stupid

Fine, tell your children to teach themselves maths then!