school crack down on hair colour

[mrsfuzzy]

new school year and problems already! ds is 14 and like a lot of girls her age experiments with her hair, for the first time during the school hols she tried a semi permanent raspberry colour on her red hair [god knows why- ex p let her do it] anyhow i was cool with that as it doesn't look that obvious, as she washes it it becomes less obvious, however school are cracking down on these things make up, uniform etc as they did last year, but she brought a note home yesterday saying to remove the dye or steps will be taken, i wasn't fazed by this as each wash reduces the colour, but how do people 'get away' with flouting the rules about such things one girl has dyed her hair jet black with blue streaks over the hols and mum told me she is not going to remove the colour for anyone, one lad keeps one side of his head shaved in spite of repeated warnings, mum says she ignores them, i accept the school policy that's not the problem but aibu to wonder why it seems the 'easy targets get picked on' to set an example? any thoughts or similar experiences anyone?

My Mum actually gave me some 'Sun in' at 14. Although she had my hair permed at 11. She liked it more than I did! As I grew older thankfully I made my own decisions - don't do much to my hair.

An adult telling children that they cannot wear make up because 'this is a professional' environment while herself wearing make up is utterly hypocritical. And nonsensical.

Actually I'd forgotten about spots,I didn't ever have any but friends did. Ok, i take my comment back

1. Adults can tell children to not wear makeup while wearing makeup themselves, just like they can tell them not to drink alcohol while drinking themselves.

1. Makeup doesn't cover serious acne. If you use a tiny brush and dab it over the actual zit as a professional would, you can't see it anyway - that would never cross the school's radar.

But the adults are the teachers and they are in charge... we do actually want them to have some authority, and we want them to be able to make sure the rules actually stand up, surely? If only for the protection of our own children, when relevant.

Teachers can wear make-up because they're grown ups, although I do agree that there should be some guidelines for them too. It's not hypocritical of them to tell a child to do something they're not doing - they're subject to entirely different rules and expectations, and that's how it should be IMO.

No daft hair colours and no orange faces sends the message that we are here to work and it is conducive to that if everyone looks reasonably wholesome and sensible. It demonstrates what the priorities are here. There's a whole three years at university to have funny hair or stretchers or whatever, or indeed a whole lifetime.

I also think constant quibbling over rules you personally find unneccessary sends the message to your child that you don't support the school, and that's not actually good for your child's attitude towards the very people who are mainly just trying to help them learn and achieve.

Of course, if your school had no particular rules on hair and make up, and a casual uniform of sweatshirt and polo, and you didn't much care for that (as many don't), it would be equally silly to send your child in a blazer and pigtails. Sometimes you have to abide by the rules even if you personally wouldn't have chosen to make all of them: it's not that hard and it's not going to destroy your individuality and your creativity and turn you into a drone. It's not a bad lesson to learn.

Teachers should wear reasonable makeup and not have pink hair I agree.

Although for some reason I feel tempted to make an exemption for art teachers in my head.

... that said, just to be annoying, I actually think OP's daughter looks pretty natural in the photo, and I'd be surprised that she got into trouble. And yes, I do think they sometimes go after the more biddable children and leave the shouty ones with more major infractions alone, and that is not fair.

Crowler - and drama teachers?

curlew my child does not read mumsnet

If he complains about a rule I explain it is a rule and ask him how he would explain breaking it to HT and what the consequences would be. He'd probably wouldn't like me to make a fuss anyway.

I just don't like a 'zero tolerance' approach because I believe in life we should be tolerant as far as possible, that is exercise discretion regarding rules.

^ Sorry that comment was meant for SteamingNit

Oh, I just asked dd (year 8) what's happened about all the girls who came back with pink hair, and they've all been put into isolation (not very isolated, then ) and have to dye it back.

Sorry, I don't get the thing about your child reading Mumsnet?

Several teachers have coloured hair in the school I work in. We are an Ofsted outstanding school, with results to macth. Hair colour has no effect on the ability to do a job, and our students often feature a wide range of hair colours. Good for them.

Because I wouldn't have such a moan with my child about how unfair it was. Fairness would not be really discussed. I'd try to remain pragmatic and talk about the consequences at school and what needed to be done.

^Even if privately I thought it was a bit unfair.

Based on everything I know from TV you can't hire a decent art or drama teacher without allowing pink hair, so yes, I'm going to allow it for drama teachers as well.

Sure, and I think your posts have mainly been based on suggesting that it's useful to consider mitigating circumstances and so on, haven't they?

I wasn't really addressing you, more all the posts about hypocritical teachers and arbitrary rules etc. Sorry if it seemed like a rant at you personally!

Crowler Don't forget the male teachers of a certain age must have Beards!

But the examples I gave are harmful - to kids' respect for the school and in the case of the blazers, to being able to work in comfort.

I didn't take up the make-up issue, but I would allow it on the basis of covering up acne (I was a sufferer too, I know what a difference it makes to confidence) but not in excess. You don't have to ban make-up - if paying attention in class is your issue, focus on that. There are a million ways for kids to be distracted ot to distract themselves.

i just checked the rules for children's new school - any hair colour, any nail varnish, any make up, as long as nails are short and no jewellery.
Thank God for that, i thought, a sensible policy at last!!
ffs what a waste of time and energy.

Nit no offence taken.

I wonder if the appearance of the children had anything to do with the school that all those complaining about had anything to do with their preferred school choice?

haha good one boney

Boneyback What you mean they see them come out of school with hastily rolled up skirts and rushed make up, clip in extensions, in order to parade down the streets in all their rebellious glory once the end of day buzzer has gone, and the parents think 'Yes mine will fit right in...'?

*What is the wacky hair dye meant to demonstrate exactly? Is it meant to demonstrate what a crazed and unique individual they are? As they were the exact same uniform as every one else and watch the exact same crap as everyone else on You Tube and watch exactly the same TV shows as everyone else.

Yeah wahoo, what a real individual you are. You're really thinking outside the box and toppling the pillars of conventional society with your Wella home streaking kit.

Those little streaks of pink hair dye just make all the difference. Yawn.*

Hmm I do think the sentiments in this post are a bit unpleasant. Teenagers like to experiment and some successfully do make themselves look different, and good, if that's what they want. Also, they are not all the same and not all sheep, even if heir school wants hem to be.

We can all look back on our teenage years and realise we weren't going to change the world quite as much as we thought. That's not a reason to stamp on all teenagers' self-expression with sarcasm and belittling sneering.

LadyBigtoes Some of it is funny though. I remember going through a phase of make-up to like 5-Star (complete with Egyption looking wings) and very brown foundation, with frosted pink lipstick, white stilettos and pearls. Lovely. Dad had been known to 'hide' my make-up bag, which meant I found it and stuck to au natural to escape his wrath.