school crack down on hair colour

[mrsfuzzy]

new school year and problems already! ds is 14 and like a lot of girls her age experiments with her hair, for the first time during the school hols she tried a semi permanent raspberry colour on her red hair [god knows why- ex p let her do it] anyhow i was cool with that as it doesn't look that obvious, as she washes it it becomes less obvious, however school are cracking down on these things make up, uniform etc as they did last year, but she brought a note home yesterday saying to remove the dye or steps will be taken, i wasn't fazed by this as each wash reduces the colour, but how do people 'get away' with flouting the rules about such things one girl has dyed her hair jet black with blue streaks over the hols and mum told me she is not going to remove the colour for anyone, one lad keeps one side of his head shaved in spite of repeated warnings, mum says she ignores them, i accept the school policy that's not the problem but aibu to wonder why it seems the 'easy targets get picked on' to set an example? any thoughts or similar experiences anyone?

Because it looks unprofessional?

Yeah, I would think it was unprofessional.

As to how you stop them, of course you can't, but I don't think mine would just go and do it if I'd asked them not to and they knew I'd be pissed off. If one of them wanted to dye her hair at the beginning of the holidays, especially the 16 year old - fair enough (rather she didn't though, and she knows this!) - but it would be on the condition that it was not still pink/blue by September.

but why would you ask them not to? of course each to own but what the fuck does it matter.

good manners, kindness, good work ethic, that's important.

people do have pink hair at work!! so what!!

schools need to catch up with the wider world.

teachers are made to look petty and daft by these silly rules.

Does the rule apply to teachers as well?

I wouldn't stop a 16 year old from dyeing their hair.

But then mine went to 6th form colleges which didn't have such out dated ideas.

Well, as you say, each to his or her own. I said if I asked them not to, I don't think they would, in response to your question about how you could stop a teenager dying her hair, to make it clear that I was not envisaging ripping a bottle of dye from their hands or locking them in their rooms.

Just if it was term time, I wouldn't give my blessing.

I would think it was unprofessional.

But why? Is there something that would make you think 'having pink hair makes this person less able to scan my groceries/remove my appendix/type an invoice?

Is this not just a preconception of yours?

My personal opinion is that the more comfortable you feel, the better you'll do anything. If having pink hair makes you feel upbeat and cheerful, I don't see why this will have a detrimental effect on your output.

I mean I read on here about 6th forms making the students wear business suits and I think wtf is that all about.

Yeah, I am thinking more about my 12 year old really. Think the 16 year old is allowed by school to have her hair as she likes.

Hehehe! I was 9 when my cousins (15) decided to dye my blonde hair red with a cheap "washes out in 10 washes" dye. It went pink. It did not wash out in 10 washes. Was interesting to say the least returning to primary school with pink hair!!!

Now I'd love red hair, but 20 years later have never been brave enough to go for it!

Looking what I meant was, I imagine that is the rationale for the rule. But to be honest I do think there's a time and a place for formality and looking smart, and school is both of those things, in my opinion. In years 7-11, at least.

I think odd coloured hair dye (ie colour that is not credibly natural) looks terrible on teens.

But I sympathise hugely with teens who have to wear vile, repulsive, unflattering cheap black uniforms. Of course they want to show their individuality.

The whole system is a total mess, IMO.

How silly. Why do schools make such a big deal about such things? They should be concentrating on improving results...

I am minded to think that if/ when DD gets reprimanded for this sort of thing I will be outraged with her. Some rules are not good rules - important lesson for children. Does the school have a school council? Could they take up the issue of appearance?

The uniform thing I get, because it prevents the flaunting of wealth and bullying based on socio-economic status (well, theoretically it does ). But hair????

My DDs school (girls GS) has the 'natural colour' rule for ks3/4 but the sixth formers can dress and dye as they wish. They don't want to lose pupils (or not attract more in) for a trivial reason.

But to be honest I do think there's a time and a place for formality and looking smart, and school is both of those things, in my opinion.

Heh, I think we just have different opinions. I kind of think that you get the opportunity to be a child, and relatively free of responsibility (though I accept that this builds over senior school years), and wearing your own clothes sort of goes with that.

I'd prefer no uniforms at all. Though I admit to finding the littlies very cute in their nice little pinafores. I think if it goes to the extent where it becomes a burden, then it's gone far to far. Teenagerhood is hard. Why make it all slightly harder? Let them wear what they feel comfortable in, and have done.

(I remain resentful that I was forced into a skirt for my teen years. I much, much prefer trousers and ideally jeans. This went double in those early, trying-to-manage-a-period-discretely years of senior school. I hated skirts and their lack of pockets and them flapping about in the wind.)

Sorry, that should have read 'you get the opportunity to be a child just once...

"Lady my thoughts exactly. Jf the secondary school tries this with my children ill home school.

They take piss who do these head teachers think they are."

Er, head teachers?

But Looking, I think it's actually easier, not harder, when there is a uniform and rules in many ways - based on new sixth form dd having to choose what to wear every day, anyway! Was so much easier when she bunged sweatshirt polo and skirt on in the morning and changed when got in!

Apart from a small number of professions, most uniform policies in most professions allow their members to dye their hair, choose their own hairstyle and to wear makeup. There may be rules about appropriateness, but that's it: e.g. women are allowed to wear discreet makeup, but not bright lipstick/eyeshadow, hair may be dyed but not unnatural colours or men can have long hair but it has to be tied back, or it has to be covered by a hat, etc.

I think it would be far more sensible for schools to adopt this sort of approach rather than the draconian measures they insist on. If nothing else it teaches children about nuances and how to define appropriate for themselves, whereas the current approach is an all-or-nothing one that simply encourages complete rebellion or complete conformity with nothing in between.

I think back to my teen years where concealer and foundation made a big difference to the level of confidence I had. Granted I didn't adopt the tango appearance favoured by so many teens today and my makeup was very discreet, but my school then allowed me to keep it on. Most girls were allowed to wear makeup. I only remember girls being made to remove it if they'd gone OTT with it and wore it so thick it had been trowelled on in a most unnatural shade or combined with eyeshadow etc. That seemed a common-sense approach to me. Certainly, had I been made to wash it off and expose my teenage spots in all their glory I'd have concentrated far more on trying to hide my face than I would have been on the teacher.

Actually I find the thing about blazers quite upsetting. It's crazy - schools want good results, don't they realise that being comfortable while you are trying to learn is extremely important? Making kids wear hot blazers on a hot day indoors for NO reason other then petty rule-mongering is really horrible - almost torture. I would hate it myself.

My DS is still at primary and there's nothing like this, but if it happens when he's older he'd literally have to move schools. He is very energetic, overheats easily and is miserable and can't concentrate when too hot.

I actually find it astonishing when these days school are so fussed about league tables and results. So take away these daft barriers to kids being happy, comfortable and able to learn!

But Dahlen, surely this - e.g. women are allowed to wear discreet makeup, but not bright lipstick/eyeshadow, hair may be dyed but not unnatural colours - is exactly the sort of rule we are talking about?

The thing is with most uniform rules is that they are always open to interpretation.

Teachers will at some point have to operate their discretion. Sometimes they get it very wrong...but I would rather let them operate their discretion than have such rigid rules that there can be no extenuating circumstances.

As a parent you have to deal with your own children and whether they have been fairy treated without comparisons to what you think others may have got away with.

TheOriginal - yes it is, but given that you can choose to leave a job if you don't want to conform to uniform regulations but school is compulsory, I think it would be better to allow pupils to have their hair any which way they please, but if it doesn't conform, they wear a hat. It saves an awful lot of suspensions and lost education.

Sending children home from school is a very daft approach IMO.

Yes, you are richt Charliehunnams, we had this at my daughters's school - she was hauled up over a skirt length and wearing a cross to school whereas others got away with it. She challenged the cross though, saying if headscarfs were allowed then Christian Crosses should be too. Oh, and the floor length skirts of the muslim girls were never challenged even though school uniform policy was knee length.

^ Although saying what I have said above a realise what we judge to be 'extenuating circumstances' does involve a comparison as you compare to what past extenuating circumstances have set a precedent or what has been given precedent currently. So bit of a Catch 22 really..

I do think making the 'offenders' wear hats is preferable to sending them home and miss their education though.