school crack down on hair colour

[mrsfuzzy]

new school year and problems already! ds is 14 and like a lot of girls her age experiments with her hair, for the first time during the school hols she tried a semi permanent raspberry colour on her red hair [god knows why- ex p let her do it] anyhow i was cool with that as it doesn't look that obvious, as she washes it it becomes less obvious, however school are cracking down on these things make up, uniform etc as they did last year, but she brought a note home yesterday saying to remove the dye or steps will be taken, i wasn't fazed by this as each wash reduces the colour, but how do people 'get away' with flouting the rules about such things one girl has dyed her hair jet black with blue streaks over the hols and mum told me she is not going to remove the colour for anyone, one lad keeps one side of his head shaved in spite of repeated warnings, mum says she ignores them, i accept the school policy that's not the problem but aibu to wonder why it seems the 'easy targets get picked on' to set an example? any thoughts or similar experiences anyone?

[daftdame]

Regarding hair it might be a child has had an operation or medical treatment and a particular haircut could disguise it or add confidence or make-up could cover scars.

[daftdame]

The discussion does not always happen. There have been a few stories on the SN boards about strict uniform policy making life very difficult for children with sensory issues or limited motor skills and Velcro shoes not being allowed. Even if special dispensation is given it can make that child feel more different. That is why it is nice when people turn a blind eye to some minor infringements.

[valiumredhead]

No hair dye allowed at all at middle or high school here.

[littlemog]

Cross posted.

A girl would not be allowed a longer skirt I wouldn't have thought but there are tights/long socks for these situations aren't there?

There is no movement on blazers without the Head's discretion and it would be very unlikely that any pupil would be allowed to discard their blazer on these grounds - on a permanent basis that is. Not sure if our blazers have any polyester in them as they cost £100 so would hope not!

But I appreciate your point and expect that some give would happen on certain things. Sometimes in schools though, a little give = lots of take!

[daftdame]

littlemog And visa versa...

[littlemog]

Yes I am sure that the haircut would be allowed but certainly not stupid colours.

[littlemog]

Sorry I don't understand your last point 'and vice versa'.

A school has rules which you either abide by or leave - it's pretty simple and in no way can a school be seen to be 'taking' too much as if parents did not like it they could always leave. In the state system schools do not have the luxury of getting rid of pupils who flaunt uniform rules hence my comment about give and take.

[curlew]

Oh, for goodness sake. Just say to your children "the school you are going to has these rules. Some of them may be a bit daft, but they don't do anyone any harm, so just save yourself some hassle, stick to the rules and get on with more interesting things. Look, have you seen what's going on in Afghanistan about girl's education. How do you think we can support Malala?"

[daftdame]

So discretion is necessary. Now how do you make it fair? As I said earlier one person's extenuating circumstance is another's discrimination.

[curlew]

Anything you can get a doctor's letter for is an extenuating circumstance. Anything else is "my precious little flower shouldn't have to have his individuality trampled on by these terrible draconian rules that say he can't have purple Mohican at school"

[daftdame]

littlemog Just that if you are prepared to be lenient and reasonable there will be less to rebel against.

[thebody]

but where is the evidence that severe uniform restrictions and crap about make up and hair colour = good results.

there isn't any. its about identifying which kids go to which schools, ( who cares) its about teacher bullying in some cases and others about schools making cash off parents having to buy stupid badges and logo clothes.

dds school is an outstanding comp with fairly sensible rules. school blouse, jumper and any type black trousers. hair dye and makeup fine. any thing for PE so the self conscious girls don't stop doing it as some twat makes the wear a short skirt and pants like in my day.

we have friends whose kids go to private schools and to be frank they look bloody awful in these old fashioned ridiculous long skirts, and got blazers and in some cases bloody friggin boaters.. poor kids.

[NoelHeadbands]

I find this an odd position for a parent to take but assume that you have made it clear to her that there are not many barristers with blue hair etc

No can't say I have to be honest. She's 12

[daftdame]

curlew Not so. Doctors don't want to have to write letters for everything and an underlying cause can manifest with a variety of symptoms.

For example not all children with Sensory issues have the same ones. The Sensory issues could be due to AS or something else. They might not be diagnosed, they could have recently manifested.

[GrimmaTheNome]

there are not many barristers with blue hair etc

who knows what they've got under their wigs!

[littlemog]

No can't say I have to be honest. She's 12

My point precisely.

[NoelHeadbands]

Then I don't understand your point.

[HSMMaCM]

DD's temporary dye didn't wash out by the start of term. I sent a note apologising and explaining it is on its way out, but she has been told to get it fixed or cut off by Monday. I could just let her do endless detentions, but that is probably not a great start to the year.

[littlemog]

daft well if the kids want to 'rebel' at my school they are asked to leave. Simple.

thebody you don't really seem to know what you are talking about -teacher bullying FGS?

we have friends whose kids go to private schools and to be frank they look bloody awful in these old fashioned ridiculous long skirts, and got blazers and in some cases bloody friggin boaters.. poor kids

Well it's a view I suppose. But then they may look at your kids and think that they look really slovenly so I guess it's swings and roundabouts.

[GrimmaTheNome]

I don't know of any barristers who are 12 ....

[littlemog]

My point is that as a parent you are letting her do whatever she wants with her hair and abdicating responsibility at a very young age. Too young imo. She should be aware that choices that she makes about her appearance can impact on her opportunities in life. Like it or not, that's how it is.

But no I suppose that her school will have to do that job.

[littlemog]

Well I don't know any parents who let their 12 year olds dye their hair whatever colour they want.

[valiumredhead]

I think there should be zero tolerance wrt hair dye at school. Kids who disobey are taught in isolation here along with children who have hair too long etc.

[GrimmaTheNome]

well if the kids want to 'rebel' at my school they are asked to leave. Simple.

state schools have to pick their battles - I guess that's one reason for the inconsistency of applying rules (whatever they are) which was the OPs main complaint.

Going back to that - IMO a happy medium on dress/appearance codes works best, but whatever the rules are, they should be applied consistently. This means making explicit allowance within the rules for people who may have a genuine reason for not conforming to the exact norm.

[NoelHeadbands]

What poppycock.

If she were 18/19 and not 12, and if she did indeed have blue hair (she doesnt btw) and if she were considering her potential career choices I may perhaps, find it pertinent to point something like that out. Although I doubt it, because she's a bright, intelligent girl and I'm going to give her enough credit to think that it would be something that she'd considered herself.

But as she's 12, and as, as I mentioned the school has no issues whatsoever with the colour of her hair, I won't.