To be sick of comments about DDs speech

[SometimesItHurts]

Just come back from Best friends house, and she made a couple of comments about DDs speech again. DD is nearly 4 and has a delay, she is starting therapy next week, and all my friends and family know this.

It just gets on my nerves that I constantly get comments from people about it. If its not PILs saying
"Ohhh I haven't a clue what she's saying" or "What's she going on about?"
It's my best friend saying "what? haha I see she is talking in Chinese again"

I realise I am probably being Unreasonable/over sensitive and I need to get a grip don't I? But ffs why don't people just keep their mouths shut and leave her alone for once?!

How rude! YANBU what insensitive people! I think the tried and tested MN phrase "Did you mean to be so rude?" would work well here.
Hope the therapy goes well

YANBU.

What they are doing is very rude and very demeaning to your dd. There is a real risk that your dd will stop talking in certain situations if that is the response she gets . That's happened with my ds because of the reaction of some people to his speech disorder.

The Chinese comment from your friend was definitely rude, but it's understandable that people say something if a child is talking to them and they can't understand what is being said.

They can't just ignore it if she's talking to them, but I agree they should just say nothing if they won't be expected to respond.

YANBU.

One of my dds had quite a bad stammer, which is now much much better thanks to a few months of speech therapy. To be fair most people were very kind and patient with her, but my Mum once said in exasperation, 'oh for heaven's sake just spit it out!' I just replied mildly 'you know she can't help it, but there's no excuse for your being unkind.' That worked.

Hope your dds therapy goes really well.

YANBU - they are being massively insensitive and should be ashamed of themselves.

If your Dd had, say, balance problems and kept falling over, would they laugh and make comments too?

I think it's pretty standard fare for people to say they can't understand a little one when they're talking.

I have three kids...the middle one had delayed speech and speech therapy, and people looked to me to translate with all of them.

I think you're being a little sensitive because you're worried about her.
Don't be btw - my middle child is 5 and his speech is just fine now. x

YANBU they are rude.....what you could do is give them a line to say instead...such as "What was that darling? Shall we check with Mummy?"

Tell them to say that and then DD won't be hurt and also if they DONT say it, you can simply tell them to bugger off.

Pictish isn't it part and parcel to be polite and sensitive though? My friend's son has some issues with speech and if I don't understand him (and he's 9 so it's obviously awkward if I don';t get it...) I say "Can you just say that again for me please Tom...I didn't quite catch it."

YANBU

My friend used to get this a lot. Her DS had very few understandable words. He murmured and garbled a running commentary that no one could understand. Then he got grommets and was speaking fluently and was much more advanced than his peers.

You need new friends, I honestly couldn't be friends with someone who was so nasty about my child.

Ds2 is 4 with speech issues and normal, decent people will either nod and smile or glance at me for a translation... If anyone was rude to him about his speech I couldn't continue to be around them. Mocking a child's speech impediment is pretty low by anyone's standards.

Exactly NeoMax.

"Ohhh I haven't a clue what she's saying" or "What's she going on about?"
are at best negetive and at worst rude. They will only discourage the child from speaking, and believe me, that's the last thing you want when you ahve a child with speech problems.

I've experienced those sorts of comments myself as a child and as an adult, and lost a great deal of confidence because of it.

Granted SOME people feel awkward about these things and try to make a "joke" of it by lightening the tone of their response but they maybe just need to be handed a response to use every time...just say "you know when you can't understand what DD is trying to say...due to her delay...well, it would help her if you say "Oh I didn't quite catch that Tilly...shall we check with mummy?"

Literally feed her the correct response...then if she fails to do it you know she's simply a cow. And you can get rid...if she picks it up then you know it;s just down to social inability and she's a good soul.

I think I would be a bit more forthright about it Neomaxi - I would tell them they are being rude.

YANBU!

I'd have to be rude back:

'She's much better when people don't mumble at her'

'Oooh - Grandad/Grandma is getting a bit deaf isn't he/she'

Ignore them! As best you can :)

Thank you all for your comments.

I think today I was very frustrated about it, as, for example.. DD would be in the garden and say "unrecognisable chat...scooter" whilst pointing at it, so I would think it was obvious she was asking to go on the scooter, and not due an unkind comment.

polly My MIL did the same thing, came round to us in a bad mood, DD was babbling and she almost shouted at her "for goodness sake, talk properly!" I was that shocked I just left the room without saying anything.

pixel I have wondered exactly the same.

That's just horrid. My dd2 has just turned five and has a speech impairment. She has improved beyond belief in the last year or so but even back when she only signed my friends and family were very supportive and worked hard to understand her. I did get the odd comment about how maybe she was being lazy. Do you think they think she chooses to not speak "properly"?

kelda I really don't want DD to lose confidence, and sorry to hear that you did. She may not be able to say what she thinks, but her understanding is as it should be.
Neo I think I mat have to start doing this. I am such a wimp, I really am.

YANBU. Bad enough if they were complete strangers, but people who know about the delay really should be ashamed of themselves. Can you agree a strategy with them, as NMZD suggested? And if they didn't stick to that, I'd give them a wide berth, tbh. Poor DD.

Yanbu.

Very insensitive of her.

Sometimes definitely do it...you're arming your child against insensitive people AND doing the insensitive folk a favour.

Salta That's good to hear your DD has improved such a lot
No, I don't think its choice. She is having problems with certain sounds. When I say it back to her, she practices back to me until she gets it right, so I'm sure she 'wants' to speak.
She does her best to talk in sentences, but is struggling to slow down, concentrate and put the words together.

Thats very rude and hurtful of your friend. I would be tempted to pull her up on it tbh.

I'm shocked friends/family would do this.

I'm sorry.

My Brother at 27 has a speech problem, the last thing you need is insensitive comments.

I'm sure things will fix eventually. My brother will never sound totally normal but in the adult world most people are very kind, they will work hard to communicate with him. :)