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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not talk to my fiancé for the whole day tomorrow?

34 replies

crazybubbasmummy · 03/09/2013 00:51

Last week, and Saturday night I had real difficulty sleeping.
I was able to go to sleep but my 2 year old would wake then I'd find it actually impossible to get back to sleep!!

Friday night I went to sleep at 11, 11:30 ds woke then I was awake till 4am was then up at 7 with my son.

DP didn't offer any help getting up because he had been to work all week and has to get up at 6 (goes to bed at 10 sleeps through every night).

After a heated discussion about who was more tired than who, he finallu saw that I had suffered all week

So anyway tonight we go to bed, put the tele on. He was txting on his phone I was drifting off so I put the sleep on the tele for the next hour and went to sleep. He woke me up 20 mins later to tell me to turn the tele off. Claiming he couldn't reach the remote. And well basically now im wide awake. And when I said you know I wont be able to go back to sleep he said well you should of turned the tele off then.

I'm not talking to him at all tomorrow. Im not cooking his dinner or anything!

Aibu??

OP posts:
DrDance · 03/09/2013 01:06

well where was the remote control?

And who was he texting at the time of night?

Original poster
crazybubbasmummy · 03/09/2013 01:08

The remote was on my bedside table right next to
myside of the bed he only had to reach over me.

He was txting work

OP posts:
FrillsandLaces · 03/09/2013 01:26

Bit childish to ignore someone all day, yabu

BitOutOfPractice · 03/09/2013 01:29

Yes. Great idea. Not talking to him will really sort this issue out once and for all. Go for it Blush

Original poster
crazybubbasmummy · 03/09/2013 01:30

Is he not being a complete pig by waking me up when he knows how difficult ive had sleeping? Not even for something serious! Why do men get to act like that andthen I just pretend it didn't happen? After 2 hours sleep and now having to looka after 2 children all day??

OP posts:
Ledkr · 03/09/2013 01:30

Fun though.
I ignored dh last week as he'd left a mess when I was out with dds and had a lovely four hrs to himself.
I ignored the mess took dds out for dinner.
His little lazy face was a picture.

Ledkr · 03/09/2013 01:32

Op. people in AIBU take their job very very seriously Grin

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 03/09/2013 01:33

Well, YANBU to be annoyed with him, he easily could have stretched over or walked around the bed to pick up the remote control himself.

YWBU to not speak to him all day tomorrow. This accomplishes nothing. I grew up with parents who would give each other the silent treatment after a row, sometimes for a day, sometimes several days. It was horrible. When one wasn't speaking to the other there was a constant atmosphere of tension, my sisters and I felt like we were walking on eggshells, trying to lighten the mood. That's a horrible environment for a child. Far better to just speak to him about it like an adult in the morning and explain why you are annoyed.

TheSecondComing · 03/09/2013 01:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
crazybubbasmummy · 03/09/2013 01:36

I've already sent him an email to open when he gets to work. To early to talk at 5:30.
I'll probably calm right down if I get an apology!

OP posts:
Original poster
crazybubbasmummy · 03/09/2013 01:37

Im a full time mum 2 children 5 & 2
He works in the city 7-4

OP posts:
Original poster
crazybubbasmummy · 03/09/2013 01:39

He doesn't help with the kids when he gets home. I di dinner bath bed etc on my own in appreciations hes been working all day

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 03/09/2013 01:40

What Shadows said.

The silent treatment is emotionally abusive and pathetic.

Original poster
crazybubbasmummy · 03/09/2013 01:44

What do I do then if he doesn't apologise?

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 03/09/2013 02:11

He shouldn't have woken you. That would piss me off too.

I just think talking would have a better outcome than not.

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 03/09/2013 02:13

Well, an apology would be nice, if you are upset. However, some people are not good at saying 'I'm sorry' (not that this is right, but it is just a fact). Plus, it's very easy for any of us to utter the apologies and then carry on regardless with the behaviour for which we have apologised. So if you talk to him and he understands why you are annoyed, is that not enough? Personally, I wouldn't get too hung up on the words, but more how he receives what you have to say. Also, it's too late now, but discussing your grievances via email probably wasn't the best idea. It is impossible to interpret tone etc via email, these discussions are far better had face to face.

Bugger, I am apparently incapable of giving brief responses!

K8Middleton · 03/09/2013 02:22

You need to communicate better. That involves more talking and listening, not less.

If he is generally unpleasant towards you then you should seriously consider whether you want to stay with him and on what terms. He should not have behaved in the way you described but reacting in a childish way will not help.

PenelopeLane · 03/09/2013 02:23

Just wondering what the bigger issue is here - him waking you, or your sleep problems? I can see why you're annoyed, but he's only half the problem really.

I say that as someone who has trouble sleeping as well who has gotten very angry at things that have woken me in the past (ie a loud truck outside) and while I'd probably react like you did, if I'm to be honest with myself the issue really is my own inability to sleep and that's something to be worked through first before fuming at whatever woke me up.

Onesleeptillwembley · 03/09/2013 02:57

Grow up, and take the tv from the bedroom

CSIJanner · 03/09/2013 05:58

I think some people are ignoring the fact that OP has had disturbed sleeps for the last several days. That's bound to make anyone touchy and kick off, especially if it DP knew and still woke you up for the pissing remote that they could stretch out and reach themselves.

But agree with PP - you shouldn't go down the non-speaking route. You're 5yo is old enough to pick up on it, and it doesn't solve any problems. What was in the email?

littlewhitebag · 03/09/2013 06:06

If you have trouble sleeping then you need to remove all distractions from the bedroom. Take your tv out. Then sit down and talk to DP about the things bothering you and maybe agree a lie in each at the weekend?

KingRollo · 03/09/2013 06:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BonVoyageCharlieBrown · 03/09/2013 06:08

I get where you are coming from as I have trouble with sleep as well and its frustrating. However you need to speak to him about it rather than the silent treatment. I went out with a guy who was an emotionally abusive twunt who used the silent treatment to me even if I hadn't done anything. It was horrible.

BoundandRebound · 03/09/2013 06:17

At 5pm you say right I'm off kids are your responsibility till 6am I need to sleep so I'm going to a hotel / friends house

And you change this he does nothing with kids - when he's home it's 50:50

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 03/09/2013 06:48

Who the hell wakes someone up to turn off a tv? That's lazy and selfish why couldn't he get up himself?seriously?

And people think the op is the one in the wrong for being pissed and not wanting to talk to him?

I'd go nuts if someone saw fit to do that. What's next, getting someone up to make him a drink?

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