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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not take DD to this party

78 replies

DDDDDORA · 31/08/2013 09:07

DD2 4 has been invited to a birthday party today. She would occasionally play with the girl at nursery but they aren't really friends and haven't had any contact over the summer. The venue is a 30 minute drive away and I'm not sure if I am going to be able to stay with her because the invite stated Please leave your child where possible as we have limited space, She won't stay on her own as she is quite shy. I did RSVP to say she was going and that I would have to stay with her, which I never had a reply to. Would I be unreasonable to not go, as I don't want to drive all the way there and be told I can't stay.

OP posts:

Dancergirl · 31/08/2013 09:08

Does dd want to go?

dexter73 · 31/08/2013 09:08

I would just go and tell them I am staying. They can't force you to leave. They might even be glad of an extra pair of hands.

LIZS · 31/08/2013 09:09

Just go you gave warning that you will probably stay . Many parents would be happy to drop and run and maybe your dd will surprise you so you can decamp nearby for a coffee leaving your number in case of a problem later. Otherwise offer to pitch in and help.

ENormaSnob · 31/08/2013 09:09

Yabu as you've already accepted the invite.

aftermay · 31/08/2013 09:09

They made a request. You replied, said you'd go, said you'd stay. Now you can't be bothered. It's obviously up to you but it's not the other oatent's fault somehow that you've changed your mind.

Helpyourself · 31/08/2013 09:09

Please go! As the mother of late August birthday girls there's a very good chance lots of other invitees are feeling the same. Birthday mum will be fielding cancellation calls and chasing people very nervously this morning!

ENormaSnob · 31/08/2013 09:13

I think you'd be really unfair to not go tbh.

You accepted the invite so her place has probably already been paid for.

MammaTJ · 31/08/2013 09:15

I am in the same boat as Help. Last year my DD invited 7 girls to her party and only one turned up.

Please take your DD. You have RSVP'd, you said you would go and stay with her, they are expecting you both.

Original poster

DDDDDORA · 31/08/2013 09:19

Thanks for the replies, I know I'm bu. I have woken up in a lazy mood I will take her, I just needed a kick up the bum to get motived. She does really want to go and it isn't fair on the little girl. Thanks again

OP posts:

aftermay · 31/08/2013 09:21

Good on you. Nobody gets disappointed and you might enjoy it too.

MammaTJ · 31/08/2013 09:29

exoticfruits · 31/08/2013 09:35

How nice if all AIBU were sorted so easily!

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 31/08/2013 09:42

Can't you buy paper on the way and just sit outside reading that? Or go for a walk?

lljkk · 31/08/2013 10:05

OP is saying child doesn't want to be left (4yo DD wouldn't have accepted that either, or she would have refused to attend any future party if I tried to insist, and as for the 4yo boys, they usually didn't behave well enough for my liking without my supervision).

I would drive over & see how it goes.

BrokenSunglasses · 31/08/2013 10:44

On behalf of all parents that have August borns and the resulting nightmare that is trying to get a party together when you haven't seen anyone over the holidays, please go!

RandomMess · 31/08/2013 10:45

See it as an opportunity for your dd to rekindle some friendships before starting back at nursery

clam · 31/08/2013 13:20

I expect the bit about parents not staying was aimed at those who weren't particularly bothered either way. You have a reason to stay.

Oh, and as the mother of two now- teenage August-borns, get into the habit of doing their parties/treats in July, before the holidays start.

Original poster

DDDDDORA · 31/08/2013 15:43

I took DD all the way down to the party only to be told by the staff there that it had been cancelled, DD was very upset. I wasn't the only only there I saw 3 other parents who weren't very happy either. We RSVP'd via Email (she also has my mobile number) so the mother could've let us all know but didn't bother, how inconsiderate!

OP posts:

aftermay · 31/08/2013 15:50

OMG I've never heard of this before. There must have been extraordinary circumstances otherwise I can imagine this is social death at the school gate.

BalloonSlayer · 31/08/2013 15:54

Blimey. What did you do? Was it a soft play sort of place you could let her have a play anyway or was it somewhere you couldn't go into on your own?

RandomMess · 31/08/2013 17:12

I would drop the parent an email/text asking if everything ok with the party having being cancelled you are concerned there has been a problem?

MammaTJ · 31/08/2013 17:16

There has to have been a very good reason for this. You just wouldn't cancel your child birthday party unless there was.

HerrenaHarridan · 31/08/2013 17:19

Until ops lat post I thought this thread was great

Aibu?

Yabu

Ok, I'll sort it out

But now I'm speechless.

Op please get in touch to find out why she cancelled because I want to know

Original poster

DDDDDORA · 31/08/2013 17:25

I have never known this either, the venue was at a rather expensive (for kids parties) country park. I didn't have any cash/card on me so had to turn round and come home. I'm not concerned something has happened as I had to drive past the girls house on the way home and it had balloons outside, maybe she didn't get enough RSVP's and decided against it.

OP posts:

DorothyBastard · 31/08/2013 17:25

Wow, she just cancelled and didn't tell anyone!? Barring an emergency, how rude!

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