To not want my ILs to just walk in?

[CoolaSchmoola]

My DH is currently away with work, and I am at home with DD. I always keep my front door locked when I am in the house. Today my Dad was coming to take us out to lunch and just before he was due to arrive DD needed changing so I rang him and told him I would be upstairs, and had unlocked the door so he could let himself in when he arrived.

DD and I are in her bedroom and I hear noises from downstairs. So I shout "Hello?!" - no reply, just more noises, including one which sounded like the kettle.

At this point I get a bit nervy as on other occasions when I have told my Dad to let himself in he has always shouted "hello!" when he arrives. This may sound like I'm a bit of a worrier - in my defence my next door neighbour had a walk in burglary whilst she was in the house recently, so there is a reason why I get a touch nervous when I hear noises in my house.

So I shouted "Hello?!" again, followed by "Dad?!" and the reply was "No, it's us." - my MIL, and then I heard cups being taken off the dresser. I was really pissed off because I'd been starting to get quite worried and annoyed that apparently they were staying for a drink without actually asking if it was convenient.

I had no idea they were coming over so wasn't expecting anyone but my Dad - if they had phoned first I would have told them I was going out and not to come.

AIBU to not want them to just walk in and put the kettle on?

Curlew ... I remember you from another thread ... Such fun

curlew is definitely doing it on purpose.

Unless she is scrolling down the thread with her eyes closed.

YANBU! I would be seriously peed off.

Am off to Google tamburlaine . My phone is not recognising the word

Or s/he's one of the IL's?!

OP you are def NBU.

I hate people coming round unannounced. However if:

1. They ring and say they're 5 mins away and are coming round - fine
2. They just turn up, knock on the door and say they ate popping in - grit teeth and fine
3. They just turn up, don't knock, don't speak, turn on kettle - NOT FINE!

Surely all the 'I'm happy for visitors to just turn up unannounced' collective would expect some type of post-entrance etiquette?

Just simple things like .... Oh I don't know ...... Maybe letting the homeowner know that you're in their house ..... or finding out where the homeowner actually is ........... Or saying hello .............

Surely no-one thinks it's ok to just walk in and make a cup of tea without even acknowledging the homeowner?!

Do your dh's inlaws walk in without knocking?

i cant believe the pettiness of this post, they came in ONCE and ,made tea?
and you came onto mumsnet to moan?
grow up YABU

Cola, they came in without announcing themselves, didn't respond when the OP called out to them to try to identify them. The making tea is not the point, really, although I don't think it's 'petty' to be annoyed about that.

Artex

YANBU,this would piss me off immensely.

Also,how do I suggest to MNHQ that a tick box is added next to the 'post message' box which says 'I have RTFT before posting' ?

the coming in is bad enough but the not responding to OP when she called down is unforgivable. I would have shooed them out with a fleaa in their ear for that alone.

And cola even if that was the case I don't think it's petty. It's bloody rude!

YANBU OP. No one should let myself into my house unless they have specifically been told to do so.

I'm just thinking of all the ones I have broken!

curlew.

OP - YANBU ! It was a bit weird when you called out they didn't respond, that's a bit worrying. If I'd had the same situation, with a burglary nearby and when I called out the person who'd just walked in didn't shout "hello" to let me konw who they were, I'd start panicking. I would like to think I'd be cool about it, but I'm more like to have walked downstairs holding either the cricket bat or baseball bat that are stored in an upstairs cupboard.

I can't be the only one who isn't always fully dressed in my own house if I'm not expecting visitors? I also don't bother shutting hte bathroom door it's just me and the baby in the house, yet the door isn't reachable when sat on the loo, if I was mid poo I'd be very exposed if someone just walked in unannounced to my house.

OP - give your dad a key as he obviously can be trusted with it. Keep your door locked. Never give your MIL or SIL a key.

OP, yanbu if it bothers you.

I must admit to being quite amused at the possibility of a walk in burglar popping the kettle on and having a quick cuppa before getting on with ransacking the house though .

I'd have been tempted to phone the police and lock myself in the bathroom till they got there. That would have put a spoke in their wheel.

OP, but what if it wasnt your inlaws, what if it was the tv?

Are you sure it wasn't the TV coming alive?

That being said. Yanbu.

Dontmindifido you are definitely not the only one who does that!

Get a dog!! My furball is the sweetest cutest dog, but she guards my house like a demon! No way anyone would ever be able to sneak up on me... she has a very frightening bark! Also means I NEVER have cold callers, door to door sellers, JW's etc.

Of course walking into someone's house uninvited and unannounced to unreasonable! That's a taboo everywhere, not just on Mumsnet. Even if you have the kind of relationship where you walk in and out of other's houses or have been invited, it's normal to knock or call out to announce your presence.

Perhaps they thought you were greeting them with hello and didnt understand that hello actually meant who is there, identify yourself.

Although youd think theyd say hi back, if they did just think hello was hello and not who is there. Maybe they did say hello and you didnt hear them.

but I think its rude to just walk into someones home if there is no agreement that thats ok. Who just opens a door and strolls into someone elses home without having been told that person is comfortable with that?

Are you sure you called your dad? Not your pils?

What if you actually rang them and told them to come and let themselves in. And then you come down all surprised telling them they scared you, and you are going out for lunch with your dad?

Pure comedy.

TheGreyLady no, my parents ring the bell. My mum has a key for emergencies but even then wouldn't use it unless we specifically asked her to.

Curlew I got scared AFTER they didn't respond to me shouting hello, not just because I heard someone come in. Next?

Cola as previously said, if they'd walked in and let me know somehow that it was them, or replied to my shout then I'd have been unimpressed but I wouldn't have bothered to post about it, I'd have just carried on locking the door.

Quint the tv was off, but had it come on by itself in a spooky fashion I think I might have noticed the difference between footsteps and thuds and the bastarding excessive chirpiness of Disney Junior .