To have put my children in bed early so I can...

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

...have some special time with my new Dyson?!

Had one of those boggle-eyed Henry fuckers for years and FINALLY it died a death last week. I was looking for a replacement and thought I'd riskily justify spending more and getting a Dyson.

Well, it's a sucking beauty! Moves like a dream. mu carpets have never been so clean! Henry must have been a lot shitter than i ever imagined. My husband is working late at the moment and so I've taken advantage for some quality time. I am tempted to rub the dog into the living room carpet so I a can use it again and again and again.

I'm a mother sucker, but AIBU?

What the hell are you lot doing to your Dysons, and your carpets that you don't think they last or clean properly

Had mine for coming up to 5 yrs now and have picked up all manner of things including brick dust from drilling a wall, shit loads of flour and much worse.
I haven't clean the fillers for a couple of yrs now and it is still fine.
With two children one whom is particularly messy it gets used everyday for downstairs weekly for upstairs and my carpets are light coloured and still looks like new.
I have visions of people hovering their gardens whilst declaring "Oh no this hoover is crap"

My Dyson is a teenager! It was given to me by a friend when she moved abroad. That was 11 years ago and I think she'd already had it for 3-4 years at that stage.

What are you Dyson killers doing to finish them off? Mine has survived 10 years with 2 extremely hairy, shedding dogs. Last year we added a baby and all the mess that goes with weaning etc but the Dyson just scoffed at the challenge and continue to suck like the stubborn fucker it is. It heavy and ugly and it's accessories no longer match. It deserves to retire, surely.

I was shocked when I first hoovered with my dyson because the carpets suddenly looked a helluva lot brighter than before. Henry had clearly got lazy! I hated lugging his fat backside up the stairs and dragging him about like a sack of potatoes. Dyson 4eva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dyson's are rubbish! They work great for a month and then are never the same after that. I am buying a new hover tomorrow, I'm thinking bissell this time.

ilovenoodles having great visions of gardening with Dyson

I think the older Dysons are more robust. Ours is 12 yrs old, I really want the hand held one now.

The older Dyson's are definitely more robust. Newer ones are like new washing machines. Built to last a year. So you buy another. Like I have done in the past.
Well not any more Mr Dyson! Fuck you! I am going over to the Henry side!

Don't get a Bissell, quite frankly my bagless one sucks and not in a good way. It was one of their fairly cheapo ones and maybe I was just unlucky but I have had cheapo vacuums before that have worked great so that's not really an excuse I think. I dream of Henry but i think it will be a while before I can afford to stroke his fat face.

My handheld Dyson is really blooming brilliant, but I do find their upright ones far too heavy to carry upstairs. I'm currently product-testing a cordless upright with on board handheld for Morphy Richards and that's proving to be very good so far

I am laughing at 'Dyson-worst Hoover ever'. Marketing departments in both companies would be gnashing their teeth at that one.

I want a Dyson so much - lucky you, YANBU!

I had a Dyson about 10 years ago but now I can't afford one.

I hated all three of my dysons horrible things all of them-couldn't cope with my hair either!! Now my lovely lovely Miele I inherited from my mum is great.. Love my Miele.
I had a James at work (yellow industrial Henry) I loved him too, I love a vacuum with a name! Still trying to come up with a good name for my Miele at home.

I like my dyson, tried other brands which are just inferior and drop at the first hurdle, dysons do need a little cleaning to keep good suction but it pays off.
I really want to justify buying a cordless dyson, my life feels like it has something missing without one!

Well OP, maybe you should have got to know Henry more to see if he was right for you rather than being wooed by his initial impressive suction.

His inability to meet your outrageous demands must have tipped him over the edge, his self esteem in tatters.

Me and Miele have been together for 5 years now and couldn't be happier. It's a relationship built on a solid foundation of respect. No catty immature comments about appearance!

Hang your head in shame.