to get unreasonably jealous of mums that still have perfect figures after having DCs

[dirtyface]

i was actually going to NC for this as i am so mortified and i know i will sound mad. but sod it

i saw this woman earlier at soft play.

she was sooooo perfect. tall ish but tiny and slender. she had golden, perfect skin, she was wearing skinny jeans and a tight cropped vest showing inches of tight, unstretchmarked tummy i know she was a mum as there was a little boy with her and he called her mum. you could just tell it was natural, her body didn't look gym honed, just naturally skinny

when i saw her, i just felt so jealous. i felt sick to my stomach and felt tears come to my eyes. i feel mean as she was probably really nice but at that moment i felt real, proper hate for her and i just felt so disgusting in comparison

i have had 2 dcs and am pg with no 3. am slim, 8 - 10, but wobbly and stretchmarked and i hate my stomach, i just can't get it flat, ever. i am short so really don't carry being pg well. my tummy has that very attractive crepey look and my boobs are on the decline southwards. i bounced back quick after my first but never quite recovered from DC2, even though she was small and i didnt even gain much weight that time.

i HATE my body and i HATE what pregnancies have done to it. and i DREAD what this pregnancies going to do to it as am 33 now and had my other dcs in my 20's. and i HATE that i am so obsessed and shallow about all this! i mean fgs am lucky that i have healthy dcs :(

am i the only one? please come and talk some sense into me

Fab post molly :)

I think you should be grateful to have the good taste not to be wearing a crop top. They should stay where they belong, in the eighties.

YABU, six weeks after my third child was born I was the lightest i have ever been, due to my ds being in and out of NICU for those six weeks, I couldnt eat, or sleep, nothing fitted me, it was frightening, he is now a strapping 2.5 yr old and I'm now about a stone over weight lol.

One can never know others circumstances and its unfair to assume.

I am slim, and got back into pre-preg jeans within 2-3 weeks of birth (which is a miracle because I was a whale when pregnant). Since then, I've maintained my weight at a constant level, apart from when on medication. I had my DD at 35, and probably look younger now than I did in my 20s (90s so too much makeup was the fashion, which IMO is very aging). I have no wrinkles, stretch marks or droopy bits.

All achieved through 4 things:

1. Exercise. Lots of it. 5km run every day. Yes, that's right, every day. At 4.30am so my exercise is done before DD is awake. 3xZumba classes a week. Plus another 4-5 gym sessions when I come home from a very demanding job. I love feeling fit.
2. Diet - everything goes into MFP, and I eat very very healthily. I don't drink at all, and guzzle water constantly.
3. Very targeted skincare routine. Different creams for different parts of face - and ruthless scrutiny whilst brushing teeth of any spots or bumps so that I can attack appropriately!
4. Great genes. My mother is in her 70s and looks like she's in her 50s. Barely a wrinkle.

I suspect No4 may be an important factor - but 1-3 help. It's not impossible to achieve a healthy glow and good figure by sheer hard work.

Actually - scrap the above and just read what molly wrote. Hear hear.

As a general rule of thumb, IMO I think most people bounce back quite well after one dc but two or more and it's a different story

I think that's definitely true for tummy skin. After DS I did go back to normal. After DD my stomach went back flat but it acquired a crepey look, even though DD was a smallish baby (6 lb 6oz) and i didnt put on much weight. Think it's just a combination of being in my late thirties now, and also just the second "stretch" does more damage.

My best "mum" friend is 30 and she pinged straight back after both. I was a bit but hey.

thank you all for the lovely posts

some were truly inspiring and humbling x

Theres so much improvement you can do in the gym. Its heartbreaking when you first start going and theres skinned tanned things mincing about on the treadmill, and you have rolls and bingo wings but with time and commitment it gets better. Diet is soooo much of it too. Id say 80% for me. I had my third baby last sept. lost loads of weight at first from BF then it plateaued at around a stone and a half overweight. Sadly for me i carry weight round my belly and backfat area when i put it on, so i had skinny legs and bum, fat belly and huge BF boobs. Not hot for me!
Started back at the gym, didnt really restrict diet as still BF but i did quit the random choc bars and ditched sugar in brews. Stopped BF around april and upped the intensity at the gym. Now 22lb lighter than january and slimmer than before i started having babies! Tummy is a problem area. No visible stretchmarks but i have that funny skin texture. Doing ridiculous amounts of ab work now so we will see what can be achieved...

plaehousewife yes thats me! skinny arms and legs and big boobs and belly!

and well done, i bet you look amazing. its given me hope :o

Dirty face - the c25k programme is a great place to start. It has this amazing knack of making you feel a sense of achievement very early on. Which inspires you to do more. There are plenty of MN threads about it - seriously, give it a go. If you have an iPhone, the Get Running app is great. And once you realise you are strong, you want to get stronger, and start adding in strength and resistance training, and drinking more water, and eating less crap, and before you know it, hey presto.

Give it a go - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I was skinny, but I was never strong. c25k changed that for me.

Never mind, OP. Im sure a lot of us go through thoughts & feelings like this when pregnant - I know I did! After youve had baby and eventually have more time, dont forget to look after yourself. Maybe challenge yourself a bit to get fitter and look better - for you. Pamper yourself from time to time..nice creams & lotions etc. All part of your feelgood factor..and we all need that.

Hi. I know this thread is super old. I just wanted to say, I had my first kids quite young- 1 at 20 and 1 at 22. I still had a perfect body after each of them without much work at all. I did used to walk a lot and do a bit of Pilates. The way I was treated by many other mums actually really ruined my early experience of being a mum and being married- some made me feel I needed to completely cover up, I felt constantly judged and some mums seemed to hate me for no reason. I'm now 20kg heavier after 5 more children and 12 more years. I work out and eat healthy and am still a healthy weight for my height, and unfortunately there are still a few mums with jealousy issues- or the one that really irritates me- they feel they should look better because they had less children, but these days I try not to let other women's insecurity and jealousy hurt/effect me. I honestly have been through a lot of shit in my life and I work hard, I don't have time to deal with other people projecting their problems.
Focus on you and your life, take care of your health and try to be kind and loving towards others, because that's what really matters more. Sigh

TEN YEARS

Yea I know. I actually only signed up here because I came across this thread in a google search about something else.