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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my employer

67 replies

Joanne279 · 28/08/2013 00:24

I'm in the process of handing in my notice at the end of my maternity leave, but in all fairness, I don't feel my employer has given me any other option.

I work for a large uk supermarket and I have done for 7 years. Their first request was they I MUST agree to a contract of a minimum of 12 hours a week. With 3 small kids and a dp that works full time, that's no easy task without getting child care which I'd like to avoid otherwise I'm working for nothing.

The other issue is my 8 year old is having major surgery for a hip realignment. She will be in a half body cast for 3 months and need physio after. My employer has only agreed I can have 4 weeks off, 2 holiday 2 unpaid. They don't seem to get my dd will be completely immobile and need 24 hour care. The full 3-4 months off I need is completely out of the question I'm told by the store manger.

I'm some what hacked off that my employer of 7 years seems unwilling to be fkexible under the circumstances leaving me no choice but to resign to look after my family.

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
Original poster
Joanne279 · 28/08/2013 00:25

Lol of course I'm not annoyed at looking after my family. Just annoyed that my yesrs of service mean nothing :( x

OP posts:
Darkesteyes · 28/08/2013 00:26

Thats awful OP Id have the hump too.

Darkesteyes · 28/08/2013 00:27

Which supermarket is it. PM it if you dont want to put it on the thread.

Onesleeptillwembley · 28/08/2013 00:29

Sorry, but I can sort of see their point. 12 hours is a small amount of time. Any less it wouldn't be worth keeping you on as it would cost them money. The time off - maybe they could be a bit more understanding, but it's not something that would stop you getting childcare. They are running a business and want their staff in.

Original poster
Joanne279 · 28/08/2013 00:32

I can't get child are for my daughter after her operation.

She will be in a body cast from her chest to her knees or ankles. She will need lifting everywhere including the toilet. Can't imagine a child minder wanting that responsibility.

OP posts:
Darkesteyes · 28/08/2013 00:33

And i doubt the child minders insurance would even go anywhere near covering a situation like this.

Darkesteyes · 28/08/2013 00:34

There is also the point of the OPs seven years of loyal service.

WafflyVersatile · 28/08/2013 00:38

I don't suppose you belong to a union?

Maybe have a look at ACAS and see if they have anything about returning from maternity leave flexibility and constructive dismissal.

HillStreetLoos · 28/08/2013 00:39

Could you ask for your shifts to be at times when there is someone else (DP) who could look after your daughter - perhaps working 2 6 hour shifts over Sat and Sun.
I can see where they are coming from in that they have a business to run, but by offering more flexibility in the shifts they offer you they would be recognising your loyalty.
Could your DP also request some flexibility from employer to help out as it is clearly going to be a full on time for you.

AuntPittypat · 28/08/2013 00:41

Would your husband's employer consider giving him some extended leave or temporary part time hours to care for your daughter?

I'd be annoyed too that after 7 years and obviously managing without you while you've been on mat leave, they're not willing to be flexible for a few more months. But I can also sort of understand their point of view...

holidaysarenice · 28/08/2013 00:42

Without knowing ur current hours its hard to know.

With regard to your child I think yabu. Basically you are asking for circa 4 months leave. Few employers are likely to give you that. They can not consider ur desire to not use childcare.

Original poster
Joanne279 · 28/08/2013 00:45

I can't use child care for these 4 months. She will be in a body cast. Name me a child minder that will have her? Lift her everywhere? Be completely house bound with her? Not many i can bet!

OP posts:
Original poster
Joanne279 · 28/08/2013 00:48

When I say body cast I mean a plaster cast from her chest to her knees or ankles. In a flat position. She won't be able to move without help. Is it likely I will get a child minder for her? I can't take her to one as she won't be able to get in the car. My choices are very very limited.

OP posts:
TinyDiamond · 28/08/2013 00:49

there's a thing called parental leave or dependent leave that you can add on the end of maternity leave. look into this?

WafflyVersatile · 28/08/2013 00:49

Good point about your DP. He is a parent too and his firm should have a policy about dependency leave. No logical reason why it has to be the mum all the time, just habit.

Jinsei · 28/08/2013 00:51

Sorry, but I think yabu.

You have presumably been off for an extended period on mat leave, and they have agreedto give you a further month for your dd's operation. While it would have been nice if they could have given you more, they aren't under any obligation to do so, and you'll only need to find cover for a few hours a week.

As for the minimum hours, again, I think that's fair enough, assuming (of course) that you worked at least 12 hours a week before you went on mat leave. It might not suit you, but working fewer hours clearly wouldn't suit them, and at the end of the day, they have a business to run.

Darkesteyes · 28/08/2013 00:51

OP yr daughter will be immobile for 4 months.
Have a read of this and see if you think it may help.

www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/looking-after-you/your-work-and-career

Jinsei · 28/08/2013 00:53

Yes, could you not take the first month asleave and then get your DH to look after her for the 12 hours each week after that?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 28/08/2013 00:53

Yanbu to be annoyed. What about parental leave?

HillStreetLoos · 28/08/2013 00:54

Just counted through and 3 - 4 months would take you to Christmas period - the busiest period in Supermarkets , a time when they would want their experienced staff around and able to work.

So I think YABU to be annoyed with them - as I and others have said /they do have a business to run. I think resigning and then looking for a post that would suit you better (in terms of flexibility / hours worked) once your daughter is fully recovered is your best option assuming you can manage on one wage. Otherwise you will need to work with them (and DP) to reach a solution that is workable for all.

EBearhug · 28/08/2013 00:54

I can understand why they aren't keen on giving you about 4 months leave - but could you ask them how they'd treat a future application? Some years ago, I decided to resign from a job to run away from everything go travelling after my father died, and my employer said, I should ask when I got back to see if they had any vacancies. Initially, they even looked into whether I could have a sabbatical, but that wasn't possible.

I think if your resignation shows that you're leaving because of family circumstances which should resolve after some months (rather than anything to do with personality clashes, or being hacked off with the job or anything), then they might well look favourably on you applying again in the future. I assume they would keep details on record in any case. Depends partly how they operate, I guess, but by looking at giving you unpaid leave, even if it's not as much as you'd like, that does suggest they are trying to be helpful if possible, but they probably have guidelines on the amount of flexibility they can offer.

It's also worth looking at the union side of things if you're a member, but I am not sure that having a number of months is something you can really expect them to be able to accommodate.

TinyDiamond · 28/08/2013 00:55

just looked it up and parental leave is only for under 5 years old. sorry

Darkesteyes · 28/08/2013 00:59

Hill StreetLoos i assume the operation and aftercare is being carried out by the NHS so im guessing the OP is kind of restricted to doing things by their timetable and cant help the fact that the aftercare is going to clash with the runup to Xmas.

Darkesteyes · 28/08/2013 01:00

What job does yr DP do OP Are his employers flexible.

Dayshiftdoris · 28/08/2013 01:05

Have you considered a 'career break' / unpaid leave?

Been there OP and its not nice (no cast tho, just the job situation) but 2yrs on all is good after a variety of things and the move out of the environment was what was needed.

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