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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at my employer

67 replies

Joanne279 · 28/08/2013 00:24

I'm in the process of handing in my notice at the end of my maternity leave, but in all fairness, I don't feel my employer has given me any other option.

I work for a large uk supermarket and I have done for 7 years. Their first request was they I MUST agree to a contract of a minimum of 12 hours a week. With 3 small kids and a dp that works full time, that's no easy task without getting child care which I'd like to avoid otherwise I'm working for nothing.

The other issue is my 8 year old is having major surgery for a hip realignment. She will be in a half body cast for 3 months and need physio after. My employer has only agreed I can have 4 weeks off, 2 holiday 2 unpaid. They don't seem to get my dd will be completely immobile and need 24 hour care. The full 3-4 months off I need is completely out of the question I'm told by the store manger.

I'm some what hacked off that my employer of 7 years seems unwilling to be fkexible under the circumstances leaving me no choice but to resign to look after my family.

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:

goforthejobular · 28/08/2013 01:14

I would resign too. You can't do the job right now.

jacks365 · 28/08/2013 01:15

Even if you were entitled to parental leave it is a maximum of 4 weeks so wouldn't solve your issue. Don't confuse the two issues though as they are separate. With regards to the contract speak to acas and get their advice and before you hand your notice in speak to social services and see if they can put any help in place to care for your daughter. I hope your daughter recovers quickly.

kickassangel · 28/08/2013 01:17

I know other people who have given up work to look after unwell children. Unfortunately there just isn't much that can be done when a child needs a ft carer. Sadly temporary carers aren't able to claim carers support, but children needing extra support really do make working very difficult. As you say, you can't just drop her off at a child minder.

If you and dp can't make it work so that he can take care of the dcs during the times that you work, then you really don't have many options.

It sounds like your work are trying to accommodate you, but you need to see that for them this is a business. If having you on their payroll is going to damage their business, it makes no sense to keep you on. Fwiw, the month off is one of the most generous offers I've heard of, so I think they do recognize your past work for them.

Best wishes for your dd, hope it all goes well.

wigglesrock · 28/08/2013 06:58

To be honest, I think most of us would like to avoid paying for childcare .

I think your employer is being fair - 12 hours a week is a decent minimum amount of hours, the month off is generous compared to others I've seen.

Can you not work something out with your husband?, can you do set night shifts when he's off the next day? My friends child was diagnosed with a heart condition as a toddler, she was given 2 weeks off. She works for public sector.

livinginwonderland · 28/08/2013 07:10

YANBU to be annoyed but YABU to expect an additional 3-4 months off work. I understand you want to be there for your DD but 3-4 months is a long time and the store would probably have to temporarily hire a new member of staff or constantly change the rota each week to over your absence. Not fun, expensive and not really fair on other colleagues who'll have to change their shift patterns etc. to accomodate you.

I say this as someone working in a supermarket. A colleague of mine is off sick for 6 weeks next month for surgery - everyone's shifts are changing to accomodate her because they can't afford to hire/train a new person to cover her hours. It's in NO way her fault but it's frustrating on everyone else.

You can either request that your hours are weekends or evenings so that your DP can look after DD, or find someone to come in and care for her while you're at work. If neither of those things are possible, resigning might just be your only option, frustrating as it is.

colleysmill · 28/08/2013 07:10

I'm coming at this from a slightly different angle but what is the post op plan for your dd? Where we are the local team would look to facilitate your dd back to some level of school attendance which might then give you a window for doing a few hours at work.

This would need a degree of planning though starting now - liaising with school, organising moving and handling equipnent. Sorting a temporary 1:1 in school etc. Given the whole situation I would probably clarify this first with the orthopaedic team and then look at everything else.

EsTutMirLeid · 28/08/2013 07:18

Could they arrange for your 12 hours to be when your DH is home.

They seem to be being quite flexible in my opinion. It's you who is coming across as inflexible (from the information you've posted anyway).

TheDoctrineOfPositivityYes · 28/08/2013 07:21

How would the 12 hours be divided - across two days. If your DP took 1-2 days off as holiday or unpaid leave for eight weeks after the first four weeks, you might be able to do it? Especially as by the time of the last week you might have "earned" enough holiday to take another day, or you may be able to swap/request evening or weekend shifts once you actually start.

What are the number of hours you wanted?

EsTutMirLeid · 28/08/2013 07:26

Yes Doctrine's idea is a good one. If you could do something like one of your DH's normal days off eg Saturday and he take an afternoon or day off every week that would only eat into about 8 days of his annual leave because you'd already be doing the first month with what your employers have offered you and between the two of you you could cover the next two months.

EsTutMirLeid · 28/08/2013 07:27

Oooohhh or is your supermarket a 24 hour one? Could you do overnight shifts?

Halfahundred · 28/08/2013 07:31

I wouldn't resign as you wouldn't be able to claim benefits, I don't think. Could you ask them to lay you off instead? I've never claimed this but isn't there a carer's allowance from the DWP? I think it is all means-tested but looking after your daughter will be stopping you being in a job and so you may be entitled to something. You probably would be entitled to contributions based JSA even if you weren t eligible for means tested benefits. At the end of the period you are off work, the jobcentre could help in finding something else perhaps?

Trifle · 28/08/2013 07:33

How much time is your husband taking off ?

Tiredemma · 28/08/2013 07:34

What was your contract prior to maternity leave?

I think you are being a bit unreasonable sorry. Perhaps it would be better for you to resign.

Jewelledkaleidoscope · 28/08/2013 07:38

I think you're being inflexible.

There must be a way for your husband to cover the 12 hours you're at work for a couple of months.

Tiredemma · 28/08/2013 07:41

And it is only 12 hours. It's not like you are trying to juggle this with full time? I'm sure you will be able to work something out with some flexibility from your DH work also.

kitsmummy · 28/08/2013 07:44

It's only 12 hours and when both parents work it is on them BOTH to provide childcare as and when needed. Just because your job brings in a lot less, it's not up to your employer to be the one to accommodate every childcare issue

Cabrinha · 28/08/2013 08:11

Have you taken your full 12 months maternity leave?
If not, then can you extend it now to cover the operation?
If you have, it would make me wonder why you didn't try to plan your daughter's operation whilst you were off - it sounds like a plannable one. Good luck to her, poor thing. Hope she's not too bored.

MortifiedAdams · 28/08/2013 08:16

OP cpuld you work the two days your dh is off?

whois · 28/08/2013 08:23

I'm with the employer. It's very unusual to give someone four months off! You could probable make a case for working your shifts when DP is home (weekends, evenings, nights) and 12 hours a week is really not loads

marriedinwhiteisback · 28/08/2013 08:41

Actually OP I think you are being unreasonable about the 12 hours pw. Either you want to keep your employment going and are prepared to be flexible and do a long shift at weekends and/or a couple of evenings when your DH is around or accept that some of your hours will fund the others and it's worth it for continuity of service.

I think yanBu over your daughter's op. For such a serios op, she may well have a disability and it would be a requirement to offer you up to 13 weeks of stat parental leave - unpaid - to care for her. I have been flexible over this in the past as an HOUR professional.

I suspect year infleexibility over one has coloured their flexibility (and they may have a statutory obligation ore face a claim of disabilty discrimination by association) over the other.

HappyMummyOfOne · 28/08/2013 08:41

YABVU but lots are when it comes to flexible working. Its very easy to forget the employer has to run a business and just want things your own way.

12 hours is nothing when it comes to work and whilst we would all love free childcare most people are realistic. Your children and partners job have nothing to do with yours or your employer.

Why cant the childs father help? Its a few hours a week and your employer is already giving you a month off so not much more to cover. Friends and family may want to help if you explain the problem.

You seem to want your cake and eat it but life doesnt work like that. I think they have taken into account your "long service" when granting the month off but if you have three small children you've likely not worked at least two years of the seven due to being on maternity anyway.

marriedinwhiteisback · 28/08/2013 08:42

Apols for typos - on phone.

ConfusedPixie · 28/08/2013 08:50

Get a nanny. Id do a job like that if you covered the extra cost to my insurance if there was any. yabu about it though i can fully understand why. A nanny might run you down financially for a few montha but itd keep you in work and you might only need the care for a few hours a week.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 28/08/2013 09:00

I 'only' work 12 hours, I work my oh day off and an evening in a supermarket.
We dont have to pay for any childcare so its ideal for us.
Could you work on your oh days off? Seems an ideal solution.
My employer also allows us a career break, anything ftom 3months to 5 years.
I hope your dc has a quick revovery

badguider · 28/08/2013 09:05

I see their point about the four months to be honest. I would ask them how they'd feel about you re-applying for your job back at the end of that and if they might have a vacancy if you keep in touch with them.
I don't know when the op is but if your daughter is out of her cast before xmas then you've got more chance I guess than if it's not till January.

On the 12hrs minimum, I think this is probably a reaction to the uproar over 'zero hour' contracts. They DO work for some people, but they've got such a bad press lately that employers will want to have peple on a minimum number of hours to avoid being vilified for having zero hours contracts.

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