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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at my employer

67 replies

Joanne279 · 28/08/2013 00:24

I'm in the process of handing in my notice at the end of my maternity leave, but in all fairness, I don't feel my employer has given me any other option.

I work for a large uk supermarket and I have done for 7 years. Their first request was they I MUST agree to a contract of a minimum of 12 hours a week. With 3 small kids and a dp that works full time, that's no easy task without getting child care which I'd like to avoid otherwise I'm working for nothing.

The other issue is my 8 year old is having major surgery for a hip realignment. She will be in a half body cast for 3 months and need physio after. My employer has only agreed I can have 4 weeks off, 2 holiday 2 unpaid. They don't seem to get my dd will be completely immobile and need 24 hour care. The full 3-4 months off I need is completely out of the question I'm told by the store manger.

I'm some what hacked off that my employer of 7 years seems unwilling to be fkexible under the circumstances leaving me no choice but to resign to look after my family.

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:

InternationalPower · 28/08/2013 09:09

You are in a difficult position and i feel for you, but i also understand your empliyer's position.

Allowing you to work less than 12 hours pw is more trouble than its worth. I also think is reasonable to expect that your dh takes on some of the extra care requirements for your dd. The fact that this always seems to fall to mothers, especially ones in pt work is one of the reasons employers are reluctant to empty women and/ or offer pt contacts.

I hope the op goes well.

Hegsy · 28/08/2013 09:40

Sorry but I think YABU.

Why cant your partner take some time off too? 12 hours work really is nothing. 3 evenings or 2 days at weekend when your partner is there for childcare. Maybe even 1 long day at the weekend? Have you discussed having set shifts with your employer?

I really think you have many options before resigning.

Darkesteyes · 28/08/2013 14:00

If you have, it would make me wonder why you didn't try to plan your daughter's operation whilst you were off - it sounds like a plannable one.

SeriouslyCab??? you think this op is being done by BUPA.
Plannable??? Fucking hell.

Mindmaps · 28/08/2013 16:06

If you cannt work 12 hours a week then you can't do any job in reality can you ? And cover 12 hours for 4 weeks is doable if you have any initiative either by asking to work weekends or evenings, getting family/friends to cover or employ a nanny/student - get your husband to step up to the mark or whatever.

CoffeeTea103 · 28/08/2013 19:05

YABVU, 4 months is a ridiculous amount of time which most employers won't agree to. You have an issue with them asking you to commit to a minimum of 12 hours(which is nothing really) and yet you expect 4 months????

catgirl1976 · 28/08/2013 19:07

You know, some people would go off sick with depression or something in your situation....

Turniptwirl · 28/08/2013 19:08

Yabu to expect them to want you for less than 12 hours per week. My employer has a minimum of 16 hours for part time workers.

Yanbu to want unpaid leave to look after your housebound, immobile child (who at 8 will probably be horrified if a stranger had to take her to the toilet!). Yabu if you expect to have all this time paid though.

BMW6 · 28/08/2013 19:16

You know, some people would go off sick with depression or something in your situation....

Oh, great advice...... But NOBODY fakes illness to get long term sick leave do they??

2beornot · 28/08/2013 19:27

Sorry OP, I don't get the problem. 12 hours isn't a lot! Even if your DH only has one day off a week, you could still do 8 hours that day plus 4 one evening.

And I get that your dd will be completely dependant on someone, but see post above.

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/08/2013 19:52

Sorry but YABVU.

Allowing you the 4 weeks is generous.

Yes employers should care for their employees to an extent but this isn't their problem.

12 hours can equate to 3 shifts of 4 hours. You seriously can't think that is unreasonable? Presumably they've told you that you have to agree to 12 hours because there are no jobs that require somebody working less than that. They are not obliged to make up a job for your convenience.

ShellyBoobs · 28/08/2013 19:58

I'm sorry, OP, but YABVU to blame your employer.

It sounds like they're being more than reasonable, even if they're not being as generous as you want them to be.

It does sound like you've got a tough time coming up unfortunately but trying to blame your employer for it isn't the way forward.

Seriously2712 · 28/08/2013 20:09

I haven't read through entire thread, so apologise if anyone has already mentioned what I'm about to suggest.
I'm a manager in a large supermarket and we have things in place such as a career breaks and lifestyle breaks for these kind of situations.
Seven yrs service is great, and I wouldn't be keen to see a colleague forced to leave the company due to such circumstances.
Hope you go on ok :-)

dixiechick1975 · 28/08/2013 20:18

I'd get some advice from union or acas or CAB asap

If your child is disabled them you are entitled to take unpaid parental leave until they are 18 - upto 13 weeks.

Disabled is if a child qualifies for Disability Living Allowance. Again well worth checking if your child will qualify for the period she is immobile - try CAB or welfare rights.

BrokenSunglasses · 28/08/2013 20:18

It's you that being inflexible here, not your employer. YABVU to expect them to give you extra time off on top of the four weeks they are allowing you when you only work 12 hours a week.

What's the problem with working 12 hours a week, that sounds like it could fit perfectly around your DHs work unless he works especially long hours?

I'm sure you are going through a hard time at the moment and must be very worried about your dds operation coming up, which is maybe partly to blame for you being quite so unreasonable.

But really, your employers are being flexible enough.

NotYoMomma · 28/08/2013 20:31

12 hours is 2 short shifts a week - I dont think that is unreasonable.

as for the other issue with dd you can get unpaid leave so it seems they have offered a fair deal tbh.

it sucks all round but you cant just have exactly what you want, it is a business

Bowlersarm · 28/08/2013 20:40

YABU..

You are facing the same choice as many, many women.

You have three small children, a partner who works full time, and you can't afford childcare. Why should you expect your employer to solve your problems for you?

It sounds like either you need to resign, or your DP needs to ask his place of employment how they can accommodate him to help look after your daughter after her OP.

I don't see why the onus is on your employer, and you think they're the ad guys?

Bowlersarm · 28/08/2013 20:41

Bad guys... Not ad guys.....you're not working for an advertising company....

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