To NEVER EVER open my front door after dark again?

[HoneyDragon]

I just remembered to put the bottles out for the milk man. Open front door, step out. Next thing

FWAP

the biggest fucking toad ever has LANDED ON MY ACTUAL FOOT.

I screamed a bit. The toad went "bwurk" the dog barked and ran and hid, the toad slid off when I tried to run away.

Milk bottles are now out.

The dog and I are now sat at opposite ends of the sofa avoiding eye contact and feeling like twats.

So I shall simply cease forthwith utilising my front door after sunset and maintain my dignity. Ok?

Anyone who has one of those old-style keyholes should make sure that they turn their downstairs lights off at night & have a little flipply thing to cover it. I know a couple who recently woke up to hear a buzzing downstairs... There were no less than 140 wasps hanging out on the floor in their hall! He shut all the doors & located a fly swatter & a bucket of water & they set about killing them all! He got stung 3 times. If that'd happened to me I'd have moved. Or set fire to the house. Or both.

I hate wasps.

Be careful though, don't toads secret crap that isn't good for dogs to lick?

Vague memory of a thread about this.

Put the Headless Horse Frog out of his misery!

Stomp on him least he take revenge on your family.

i just snook out the back for a quick before bed illicit cigarette.....saw something sticking out from the wall.
got up close and personal with the hugest bloody spider ive actually ever seen in the vicinity of this house.....
i chased it with a sweeping brush tom and jerry style. i darent go back out now.

The dog and I are now sat at opposite ends of the sofa avoiding eye contact and feeling like twats

I once shared a tent with a toad for an entire summer (yes the ribbit kind, not the bloke kind). Lovely little fella, great company.

Vicar - a good time to give up smoking??

Agnu 'flipply' is a truly brilliant word!

Frogs and Toads. Our last Lab was a chronic toad and frog licker and spent from June to October with s chronic drooling problem. She couldn't help herself even though it aggravated her mouth

Current lab has more sense.

oh honey he's gorgeous. bless his paws.

That is one look that says 'Please dont make me go out there' - I know it well as my dog has that look if I mention 'Walk' when it's raining (a JRT no less)

Had a frog jump at me from the recycling in the dark once and I roused a couple of neighbours with the screams
I also have a long history (right to childhood) with 'Twatcats' that bring me dead stuff - birds, mice, a rat, a frog and one utterly useless feline that could only catch worms... Those are grim barefoot

Thankfully spider population is kept in check by DorisDoggy - she might not like rain but bugger me she likes eating spiders (and cat poo... which is not so good)

Arf at using children to defend yourselves against spiders I have never done this

I have hundreds more around 20 frogs in my garden its not so nice when they don't move quick enough to get away from the Lawnmower
Oh and one figured how to use my catflap once I made my 4 yr old Ds catch it ..
He still takes the nick out of me

*Mick

why is it that the object of your fear seems to know and target you?

i am not afraid of moths, frogs, toads, rats, mice, lizards, snakes.
my 2 fears are spiders and crane flies (daddy long legs)
and they know it.

i also think i am a closet buddhist because i cannot kill them....i just chase them out with anything that puts about 4 ft between us....

You have 'bjork' on your front doorstep?

That's so true Vicar. I can't abide slugs, horrible things.

We use to have a problem with a huge cat that would come into our house to eat our cats' food (probably why he was so huge) anyway, one night he got stuck in the cat flap and pulled the flappy bit and the surrounding bit off so we were left with a hole that I was going to cover before going to bed.

Eventually found something suitable with which to cover the hole and went into the kitchen to fit it only to find the whole of the bottom half of the glass door covered in a great mass of slugs. They had obviously been attracted by the warmth from the house that was escaping through the hole.

Still makes me shudder now.

Snails don't talk, not like frogs anyway.

All wasps should be beheaded.

In my defence, I am not actually scared of frogs or toads now its daylight. Just late night fwappage.

I reckon the dog looked guilty because you'd rumbled its plans for a late night hook up. You were meant to be in bed. The toad thought it was the dog answering the door.

You can't stop their love you know. That's just cruel and creaturist.

They'll probably run away together now.

This wouldn't have happened if you got Ocado deliveries

[helpful]

But Ocado would cost £75 a week to deliver my milk with the milk man it works out 30 pence a week.

I thought this was gonna be really scary,haha

clear the perimeter next time

I feel you're pain, I came back from walking the dog at night, and stood on something, I felt something wobbly and shone my torch to see what it was, a giant toad, guts all over my wellies, bleugh!!!