To NEVER EVER open my front door after dark again?

[HoneyDragon]

I just remembered to put the bottles out for the milk man. Open front door, step out. Next thing

FWAP

the biggest fucking toad ever has LANDED ON MY ACTUAL FOOT.

I screamed a bit. The toad went "bwurk" the dog barked and ran and hid, the toad slid off when I tried to run away.

Milk bottles are now out.

The dog and I are now sat at opposite ends of the sofa avoiding eye contact and feeling like twats.

So I shall simply cease forthwith utilising my front door after sunset and maintain my dignity. Ok?

Maybe you should tape up your letter box just in case? Toads are very intelligent!

Happy to Honey...

Peasant

You do realise in the morning you'll find a little webby outline of the spider on the carpet from the arachnid forensics team? Just to add to the guilt and fear.

But it was alive when it lef the house! It weren't dead the larst time I saw it, honest guv.

Not to mention Mrs Spider wringing her hands and sobbing over the heads of her little sleeping children...

You have to cut your foot off! It will be all toady BOAK.
It happened to me on my back door step and I've never been the same since ever

Anyway, never mind the toad...... you actually have a milk man? Wow!

Wear hiking boots people!

Lets be careful out there - as they said on Hill Street Blues.

Oh god, I would probably never leave the house again, just in case.
Urgh.

Can toads climb UPVC?

FWAP.

brilliant evocation of the sound!

DH found a toad in our garden yesterday. And I have a milkman. Are you me?

The dog did nothing? LEAVE THE BASTARD!

Oh I am so jealous. We used to get loads of frogs trying to get in the door, but only met a toad once. . Joke

Not sure Prudence, I might be. How embarrassed does your dog look?

I stepped on a slug outside once, in bare feet. On concrete.

It took forever to get the slime/innards off. Obviously the first thing I tried was holding it under a running tap. Had no effect whatsoever. Then I got some soap on my hands and tried washing it off. On inspection - still covered in slime. Rubbed it with a soapy flannel. Still there. Scrubbed away at it with a nailbrush - still loads left.

In the end I had to scrape it off with a knife.

I'm impressed you and dog made it to the sofa to feel like twats.

I'd have been an unconscious crumpled heap on the doorstep.

Yeah of course they can climb UPVC they've got sticky suckery feet. Get the Sellotape now. Tape it shut very firmly.

YABU I like toads - they're somehow cuddly looking. I remember chasing my neighbour with a mahoosive one aged about 6

I'm with you about the spiders though revolting I'd have had to have gone for an immediate shower!. I once ran a bath in the nearly dark and without my bottle bottom specs on. It was only when I got in and something brushed against my leg that I realised there was a ginormous spider in with me and drowning. Nearly killed myself leaping out and onto the slippery floor.

I had to throw slippers away after a slug incident.

And revolting you need to see your GP ASAP. Remember what happened to Peter Parker?!

Coo coo coo!

this has cheered me immensely!

DD and I saw a toad in the garden the other day. DD watched its progress whilst I hid did some cleaning inside.

There you are Pidge.