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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend fraudulantly claiming tax credits as a single mum

149 replies

OrangeFlower7 · 26/08/2013 18:36

I am getting increasingly exasperated with hearing the woeful stories from my friend - she and her husband 'split up' at the start of the year but are now back together / still living together. She is always saying how skint she is, since getting married (was a single mum beforehand) as her tax credits claim stopped. So, when they split up, she started a new claim as a single parent with a low income. He has a full-time well paid job. So now they get housing benefit for their 1.1K/month rental house, a high tax credits award of about 10K plus his money from his job...it just seems a bit unfair for her to keep moaning on when we've been struggling with DH being made redundant and getting by on some self-employment but really trying hard each month to get the money together for the mortgage bills etc.

WWYD? What should i say next time she moans on? Do you think, I should report them for tax credits fraud?!

OP posts:
emuloc · 26/08/2013 20:32

Really Op how about looking to improve your own situation and not be judge and jury of your friend.

diaimchlo · 26/08/2013 20:34

I would report her tbh, this type of person is not only taking money away from tax payers but she and those like her are the reason genuine benefit claimants are being labeled as SKIVERS and SCROUNGERS.

For those of you who are saying what business is it of the OP's and what kind of friend would she be to report her, it is theft from you if you are a tax payer, if not just think.. Would you do something if you caught a friend taking money from your personal space? By not reporting it you are condoning it which is wrong!!!!!!!!!

IneedAsockamnesty · 26/08/2013 20:35

Haha, I bloody love this website sometimes. About a week ago someone asked if they should report someone in the same situation and was roundly condemned for it, told it was none of her business and to stfu

That thread was totally different. The op of that one had nothing other than a bit of gossip to go on no admission or any other indication from the claimant just an assumption from another family member as to the situation.

This situation is different because the woman is open about being fraudulent and has directly told the op she is. No gossip,no misinterpreting of a situation.

Op report, its the right thing to do.

Original poster
OrangeFlower7 · 26/08/2013 20:39

Emuloc I'm not too worried about my own situation tbh, we don't have a lot but it's OK and we manage. This isn't really about me is it it's about the wrongness of the situation.

OP posts:
sneezecakesmum · 26/08/2013 20:40

There is a confidential reporting hotline so she won't know its you.

Report her. You, me and every honest taxpaying person pays for fuckers like her.

Original poster
OrangeFlower7 · 27/08/2013 21:28

Thanks for replies. Does anyone know, if someone is investigated through this, are they told someone reported them? Thanks

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 27/08/2013 22:22

No they are not told

Jolleigh · 27/08/2013 22:24

Report her. People like this undermine genuine claimants. People certainly shouldn't be immune from the law just because they're only telling friends and family.

specialsubject · 27/08/2013 22:26

report her.

those who talk about 'grassing up' need to grow out of the 'school sneak' crap. She is stealing from all of us - and especially from those who need the benefits.

report her even if she is the nicest person in the world.

BTW if you think it is 'grassing up', I also expect you not to call the police if you get burgled.

BellEndTent · 27/08/2013 22:29

I wouldn't be jealous of someone fraudulently claiming benefits. I doubt she is happy with herself, really.

jessieagain · 27/08/2013 22:39

I think it depends.

Are you are 100% sure she is not single? (I think some people can be classed as single if they are separated but can't move apart from each other)

Have you spoken to her about being careful about claiming benefits correctly? (Because you wouldn't want her to get into trouble if for some reason she was unaware she is in the wrong.)

If yes to these then I think yanbu to ocnsider reporting. I think it is a final step though and I would want to be 100% sure that she was guilty first.

utreas · 27/08/2013 22:45

Report her, whats the worst that could happen she is investigated and vindicated or on the other hand her benefits are paid to the correct amount and she will have to answer to the law.

Dahlen · 27/08/2013 22:49

The trouble with reporting someone for (genuine) benefit fraud is that it's usually someone you know. That's what makes it so difficult. It's the same mentality behind why so many people turn a blind eye to child abuse, etc. It's much easier to 'do the right thing' when it's a complete stranger - except you'd be unlikely to know the financial ins and outs of a complete stranger's life of course.

OP, I think it's important to separate doing the right thing from your motives for doing it. If what you say is true, she is committing fraud. That is a criminal offence and reporting her for it is absolutely the right thing to do.

However, don't lose sight of the fact that revenge takes something from the person dishing it out as well as the person on the receiving end. You will have to live with the consequences, which may include her imprisonment, certainly her financial situation will end up in dire straits and her marriage may break down for real. None of which you will be responsible for, because you're not the one committing benefit fraud, but knowing that and feeling that are not the same thing at all.

Also consider factors you may not be aware of. For example, there are women in abusive relationships who feel they have no option but to claim as single mothers because their partners will not give them adequate money. How will you feel if that comes out later?

If this woman is genuinely a friend, why not tell her that you'll give her X amount of time to sort it out and then you're reporting her if she's still doing it? If you don't want to do that and would prefer to do it anonymously, then stop calling herself your friend, because you're not. I have never reported anyone for benefit fraud, but I have involved the authorities in the lives of two people in my social circle because it goes against my own moral code to ignore what was going on. In both cases I did it openly and with the family's (begrudging) co-operation.

NicknameIncomplete · 27/08/2013 22:50

I would be pissed off too if i was struggling & someone i know was claiming fraudulently & moaning about how hard finances are for them when i am working hard trying to get by.

I would report her.

MistressDeeCee · 28/08/2013 00:36

OP - you want to report them for Tax Credit fraud which is why youve asked the question. The world & its Aunty is the guardian of public funds nowadays except if its bankers or MPs stealing it.

I do get mildly curious in these matters, which seem to crop up more & more often on MN. How do so many people know exactly how much their friends are receiving in benefits? Im surprised thats discussed in detail.

Did anyone see the tv programme last year where a couple reported their neighbours for falsely claiming benefits - which wasnt the case at all. However, staff decided to name the reporters. Which made life very unpleasant for them to say the least. Id say be careful you have your info right, what somebody tells you about their circumstances isnt often the exact truth anyway.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 28/08/2013 00:48

The OP doesn't have to look at her own motives for anything here. If someone is committing fraud, the reason it's reported is irrelevant. And there are victims - a, the vast majority of genuine claimants, who get treated like crap because of people like this, and b, anyone contributing to the benefits system via tax. That covers pretty much all of us.

If this woman is an abuse victim, the answer is not to cover that up by letting the state effectively reward her abuser with access to more money and turning a blind eye. She needs real help, not colluding with the status quo.

revealall · 28/08/2013 00:51

But when she filled in the forms husband must have given a different address otherwise she wouldn't be a single parent.
If he still "lives" in this other house then it won't much matter how often he's over to hers as long as he's paying his bills at his house and not her new place.
If she actually doesn't like him, the fact that he's buying her attention again probably means the relationship is really doomed.
Be happy your're happy.

LazyMonkeyButler · 28/08/2013 00:59

I should imagine the HB people (i.e. the Council) will uncover her fraudulent claim sooner or later all on their own. Our LA is very hot on checking, double checking & checking again at random intervals.

Tax credits however, don't really seem to check & take everything at face value (i.e. believe what you tell them).

As to whether to report or not - do whatever your gut instinct tells you to do.

thatisall · 28/08/2013 01:31

REport it I'd say. Haven't read whole thread.

Is it something you can speak to her about or will that damage the friendship? To be fair anyone who is being that insensitive to your situation by moaning about their own when it sounds like she has plenty of money coming in really, doesn't sound like a brilliant friend?

MistressDeeCee · 28/08/2013 02:19

OP you also said you feel she is frittering some of her money away. How on earth is it your remit to judge how she spends her money on what she wants to buy? Fritters her money away?!! Do you monitor her shopping spends too?

Report her if you must but youre not her friend, you sound as if you dislike her. I cant imagine landing on an anonymous site seeking mass kudos for reporting a friend and taking the opportunity to drop in spiteful comments here and there. I cant even begin to fathom the 'she fritters her money away' comment. Just cut to the chase and do what you want to do. She'll have far less to spend and your heart will be at ease. You can talk and smile with her when she loses her benefits. Or even come back on here and gloat.

leonardofquirm · 28/08/2013 03:59

mistress, I think the OP meant that if the friend is frittering it away, she would struggle to repay any over payments.

YANBU OP.

MistressDeeCee · 28/08/2013 04:21

I think if the OP had meant that, she'd have said so. Whatever friend spends her money on is none of OPs business whatsoever. Whether to report or not is all that's relevant.

I'm feeling 0P should report if her gut feeling tells her to, but the 'frittering' comment - after already getting all the 'go ahead' agreements on thread, at that - was unecessary and sounded meanminded.

TylerHopkins · 28/08/2013 05:02

Meanwhile on a different thread someone has found out their colleague is homeless and living in an old car. If your friend is genuinely claiming fraudulently she ought to be ashamed of herself. She is contributing to the hardship of others with her actions.

Jengnr · 28/08/2013 06:31

The Tories have done an excelent job on some of you lot.

Leave her be, you have no idea what's really happening, you're just annoyed with her.

She's probably worried about her marriage and claiming when you need to takes forever and causes big problems. If her husband fucked off again she'll be in trouble.

Jengnr · 28/08/2013 06:32

*excellent