to take my 4yo DD to Slimming WOrld with me?

[Justforlaughs]

I want to rejoin, but I'm not sure whether it is ok to take a 4yo with me. The consultant won't mind, and there is a play area but am I sending out the wrong signals to DD about weight or am I overthinking it?

What culture? The culture of eating better?

No, the culture of dieting (and yes I know they don't call it that, got many many teeshirts) being a multi million pound/dollar industry.

The culture of never thinking about anything other than eating.

And what everybody else has said on this comment

Ever try running around at 15 stone? Ever try going to soft play, swimming, tying your shoelaces?

Friggin I am pretty damn nearly 15 stone and quite short and I can do all of those things (e.g run a couple of miles most days, have just come back from Edinburgh where every fecking hill/flight of stairs goes upwards, NONE comes down!) without turning a hair. [smug bitch]

Laughs I think the considered responses (on both sides of the debate) prove that you are by no means overthinking this. Personally I have found SW to be a multiple waste of time but if you want to do it, my advice would be to leave her with someone or if that's impossible, do it online.

Weight gain/weight loss is a normal part of life. At some time in everyone's life we will gain/lose weight.

Agree 100% Worra

So why the problem with them knowing that when people gain too much weight, they go to a slimming club to help lose it?

Agree only about 5% with this Worra....it's pretty well documented that the vast majority of people who lose weight with slimming clubs and/or specific trade plans put most (or more) back on. And I have heard (nothing more scientific than that!) that yo-yo-ing is more injurious to health than stable overweight (obviously taking it off and keeping it off is best)

Yes but why hide it Evieanne?

Perhaps if kids were aware from an early age that slimming clubs don't always work for people, they might be less likely to use them when they're older?

Fair point Worra, if that indeed the message that comes over....

I don't think there is a taboo about losing weight, I think the issue is how aware of the ins and out children should be. Children only need to know that healthy eating and exercise are important to keep fit and healthy they don't need to know any more and having parents who are obsessed with dieting/weighing themselves could easily lead to a negative relationship for the child.

I am losing weight at the moment but have been very careful not to talk about it around DS or let him see me weighing myself or anything simply because that isn't important to him. He will get the benefits of a healthier mum and my change in relationship with food will hopefully help his own relationship with food in the long run.

Agree totally with the Comtesse.

Children do not need to learn to 'control their weight'. They need to learn to be happy in their bodies, and to fight off the cultural assumption that to be a woman is to be involved in a constant struggle with the body.

(I really rather wish my parents had done this with me rather than give me lifelong Body Issues from an age that was only a couple of years older than the OP's daughter...)

I agree with Sirzy - I don't want to hide the fact that I am overweight and need to eat a bit less from the DCs, that does come up in conversation from time to time, but I don't want them to pick up on regular weigh-ins and calorie counting or whatever as a way of life. I would rather they just picked up on healthy eating habits and exercise as being the way to go without all the emotional baggage that can so easily attach itself.

I would rather they just picked up on healthy eating habits and exercise as being the way to go without all the emotional baggage that can so easily attach itself.

I'm sure we'd all rather that, but sadly it doesn't seem to be happening.

I don't know what the solution is, but I don't believe sweeping weight loss techniques under the carpet is the way to go.

I went to school with too many people who were on diets behind their parent's backs.

Ignoring the weight loss industry or making it a dirty word, can often lead to kids dieting in secret...and that way trouble lies.

I'm with worra on this.

I don't get why it has to be such a big deal, really I don't. Some people (like me) find it harder to maintain a healthy weight than others. As far as I'm concerned its not just about weight loss, its living a healthier, more active life. And I think that can be a really positive message for children to be aware of (we have members who do half and full marathons, 3 peaks challenge etc, its far from being a room of fat women talking about chocolate!)

Well, I went and DD played in the soft play area (totally unsupervised by me ) but staff were ok with it. Weighed pretty much what I thought but I am going to make a real effort to lose some. On a light note, I'm doing an abseil at the end of September for charity and I don't want to have to worry about the rope snapping! (and before anyone starts, I'm paying for the actual abseil out of my own pocket! )

Oh Dear Velvet I think "chocolate" was mentioned quite a few times!

I don't know what the solution is, but I don't believe sweeping weight loss techniques under the carpet is the way to go.

I don't either, but I don't think seeing parents constantly crash dieting, and going after the next craze in dieting is going to help the situation.

What parents need to attempt to do is encourage a healthy relationship with food and exercise from a young age so it becomes normal for them (schools also need to help with this and move away from some of the strange good food/bad food messages they give)

Of course that is much easier said than done, especially if parents have a poor relationship with food themselves but that has to be what is aimed for surely?

Well done for going, OP!

I agree Sirzy

I'm not sure what the solution is though because I expect in a lot of homes, the adults don't practice what they preach for various reasons.

Which probably leads to a 'do as I say and not as I do' kind of situation.

Then there's the fact that food is still used by some parents to occupy and pacify bored children...which imo gives the wrong message from an early age.

I don't believe in sweeping it completely under the carpet is the way to go either, but the commercialism and constantly changing messages, fad diets etc are just not something I feel comfortable with exposing the DCs to at a young age. SW may not be as extreme as some of them, but it's still part of a massive diet industry, which doesn't seem to be working either.

I agree, I am working really hard to break the cycle for the sake of DS but its not easy and I think if he had been older it would have been harder.

I can see both sides to this. At the group I go to, we have mums who bring their young children, and that's fine (the children are sometimes a bit boisterous but that doesn't bother me personally).

What DOES bother me, is the lady who brings her 10yo DS. Children are NOT supposed to follow the plan, but he comes in each week saying things like, "X (consultant) we've changed the hot chocolate I drink, so I have less syns now".

That really bothers me.

I don't actually know much about Slimming World, maybe it is healthy. Absolutely fine for you. But as others have said further up I think it's massively important not to expose girls to the idea that they need to be constantly worrying about weight/size and that being loved and successful are bound up with this.

Maybe Slimming World purports not to be about body image and maybe it really isn't. But what your dd will take away from it is a memory of her mum giving up her spare time to go somewhere which is all about weight.

Problem eating and problems with weight are very much connected with this industry. So while SW might be a good way for you to deal with an issue it will sow a seed in your dd's mind which could lead to her having body issues. It may be fine as a one off but I would keep the diet industry as far as possible from my kid, personally.

Children don't need to learn to control their weight, they need to learn about healthy eating and exercise. If they get that cracked, a healthy weight will follow, without endless stepping on scales.

You can control your weight without healthy eating or exercise, that is not a road you want your child to go down. Don't make it about weight control.

My 8 and 10 year old sons come to my SW meeting every week and they're fine.
Some people on here talk a load of old crap.

I can't bear this "talking about dieting with damage children" because going too far the other has already damaged children with the huge rise in childhood obesity. It's fine if you word it sensitively. I don't see anything damaging about a child knowing their mum goes somewhere to talk about healthy new recipes and fun exercise.

I'm sure at that age she won't pay much attention to what is going on TBH.
My DM was a Slimming World Instructor when me and my Sister were young and had to go with her every week if my dad was working. She did 2 evenings a week for years and we have both turned out alright :)

Good luck with the healthy eating.

Have you found the SW support thread on here, OP? Very lovely bunch on there.

My mum has banged on about weight all my life When i was 8 she took me to the doctor who made me disrobe to my vest and knickers to see how overweight i was (as i got older i began to think this strange) after that i was sent to a dietician. At 8 years old But my mum felt too guilty to not give me a slice of cake when ever she gave DB one.
I went to Slimming World as an adult and got from 21 stone down to 11 stone 3 when i was there They kept weighing me each week trying to "encourage" me to hit my target of 11 stone I couldnt no matter how hard i tried and ended up feeling like a failure.
The reason i left SW though was that another member kept coming up to me saying "You should be 10 and a half stone" This was constant and YES it was done in earshot of kids who had attended with their parents.
Struggling to meet that 11 stone target i did seriously consider sticking my fingers down my throat. The only thing that stopped me is i had a fear of vomiting (still do) There are more details about my time at SW on the thread "to think the diet industry is utterly evil"

Now i need to lose weight again I go out for an hours power walk EVERY DAY this includes uphill I go twice round our estate I live on a big housing estate. Ive cut my portion sizes and carbs and upped the protein I will get down to the size i am comfortable with and if someone comes up to me ever again and tells me what weight i should be after ive ALREADY struggled to lose some then they do so at their own risk!