to take my 4yo DD to Slimming WOrld with me?

[Justforlaughs]

I want to rejoin, but I'm not sure whether it is ok to take a 4yo with me. The consultant won't mind, and there is a play area but am I sending out the wrong signals to DD about weight or am I overthinking it?

YABU. It is a serious responsibility to.protect our daughters from this nonesense. Given all the rubbish she will later be exposed to you need to lay strong foundations now. Just eat healthily as a family and dodge this misoginistic tosh.

How is healthy eating for life "nonsense"? Please explain. Thanks.

Oh and how is it "misogynistic tosh"? Again, explain please.

i would take her,the only thing she will learn from it is healthy eating is a good thing .

Slimming world don't promote a certain body shape. Its healthy eating,not dieting. I've done it twice,still on it after nearly a year and have lost nearly half of what I want. When my weight loss is complete I will still be keeping with the lifestyle because it is healthier.

Tallulah - we live in a culture where the concepts of "slim" or "not being fat" are, particularly for women, tied up with the concepts of being loveable, being beautiful, being attractive to the opposite sex, being fashionable, being desirable, being enviable, having self-control and willpower. However much you dress Slimming World up as being about health and lifestyle and good attitudes, it's still principally about Not Being Fat. In a culture where to be a fat woman is to have "Let Yourself Go" and is seen as synonymous with being unattractive, greedy, lazy, stupid or somehow lacking in the presence of mind to stop yourself getting fat, weight loss clubs promote and encourage fixation on bodyshape, watching your weight, and attaining beauty and sex-appeal.

Even very young children will pick up on these references, hence many people not thinking SW is the best place for a young child to be. The OP obviously has similar concerns, or she'd not have started this thread.

Jesus, there is some serious overthinking going on!

I go to SW and quite a few of the ladies bring their DC, who range in age from a year to 8/9, a mix of boys and girls.

Not one of them ever pays any attention to what's going on. The toddlers like joining in with the clapping, but don't know more than that, the others mostly sit at the side playing or drawing (or doing running laps of the room).

I can't speak for other groups but ours is very positive, there is no negative talk. I'd be more than happy for either of my sons to go if they were of an age where I couldn't leave them at home.

My sons are well aware I am fat because I eat crap/ too much. And that I am losing weight by eating less crap, and more normal healthy food and doing more exercise. I think that's a pretty good message!

don't. The concept of food being a 'syn' is a great way to start off eating disorders at worse, a misunderstanding of a healthy lifestyle at best.

racingheart and others give wise advice.

When I was small my Mum used to take me to weight-watchers with her, I loved it, one of the other ladies used to give me all her Club biscuits she had stashed away.

I never had an issue with weight until now, I'm 47 and have been taking steroids for a year, so a side effect rather than eating issue.
She'll be fine, and like I was, probably delighted to be involved in something grown up with Mum.

Comtesse those of us who go to slimming world don't want to be fat and those who suceed are doing it for themselves. Ever try running around at 15 stone? Ever try going to soft play,swimming,tying your shoelaces? Going upstairs would leave me red faced and sweating. You can't honestly tell me that's OK. I'm now 11stone 4 pounds and feel so much better in myself. I don't care about being attractive or lovable. I am lovable,what I wasn't was healthy.

Congratulations for biting the bullet. I expect you are at the stage where you know it would be a good idea but you don't really want to start (hugs). Can I very kindly suggest that this DD thing is a delaying tactic supplied by your unconscious mind?

Go, take her, she won't take a blind bit of notice. What she will notice, is growing up with her mum an unhealthy weight and putting off getting it sorted.

My grown up DC watch me have a personal trainer and look a proper twit in Lycra once a week. I have just started swimming after about five years of excuses- the best one being, my bike had a puncture and I didn't know how to get the wheel off and the pool that was closer was noisy and had chlorine and I only wanted to go to the one further away and.... My kids are pleased that I have finally got off my arse and mended the bike. They are not taking home dodgy messages about sins and so forth, they understand a bit of irony. They are taking home a message about setting yourself a goal and exercising some self control to make it happen.

None of which is a dig at the fact that you have. A bit of weight to lose, we've all been there, congratulations on taking control of it

I think this is fine. Role-modeling constructive ways of addressing things you aren't happy about is brilliant parenting'

If it's only about healthy eating, why, apparently, do they weigh you every week?

I think it is very unhealthy for daughters to be exposed to mothers who are obsessed with their weight and diet. Talking about syns - a negative association with treat food. Not a good idea.

4 year olds pick up more than you think.

Children need to learn how to control their weight. If the adults around them don't know how to do this, there isn't much chance that the skills will be passed on to their DC.

Friggin - I was answering Tallulah's question on why weight-loss clubs have mysogynistic undertones because of the culture they are rooted in. I disagree that Slimming World doesn't focus on bodyshape. Surely they promote being slim or not being fat - otherwise they'd call it Healthy World or Decent Food World or Feel Better World. I think it's great that you're loosing weight for you and that you want to be healthy and it sounds like your self-esteem is great (for which I certainly envy you, mine hasn't always been so good!)

OP, I don't want to derail your thread. But honestly, I'd avoid taking your DD to SW unless the play area is separate, if at all possible. Ultimately though, you know whether what's talked about is suitable for your DD to hear and whether you can answer any questions she might have.

I don't equate thin with attractive. I know I'm attractive now as I was when I was 3st heavier, and will be once I've lost another 3st and got to 'normal' bmi - despite loads of people telling me to stop now. I look fine as I am etc!

I want to be healthy (well, healthier). To be able to run, to do more exercise, to be fitter - and I need to lose weight to achieve that.

I used to go with my grandmother if she was looking after me. I loved it. No issues with food apart from loving it and I excersise sometimes.

I wouldn't take DCs to a slimming club. Mainly because there is a history of disordered eating in both mine and DP's families and I don't want to introduce the issue of dieting and weight in such a way.

Some clubs are probably okay though, depending on whether they have separate areas for the DCs to be in.

This one's complicated. I got taken as a child to my mum's WW classes back in the 1970s. Ive never forgotten it, and it was part of growing up in an environment where food was definitely An Issue and something to worry about and police yourself over, not something to be enjoyed in a relaxed way. I was on my first of many yo-yo diets by the time I was 9 (about 3 or 4 years after the WW classes), and have struggled with food and weight all my life.

So I would say that if your SW class is just a class, for instance as though you were taking a class on Maths, or creative writing, then there's no harm in taking her - particularly if you're confident that the rest of the context around food and weight is fairly relaxed. But if it's a more emotional thing than that for you, then I would err on the side of caution and not take her. We can't know what young children are taking in. I don't think my mum believed there was any harm in taking me to her class, and TBH I don't think I took in much of what was actually being said, but boy did I notice how emotional the grown-ups all got about losing weight and it was part (only part) of setting me up for a lifetime of complicated feelings about food and weight. If you're not sure, don't do it.

Body shape is more than being fat or slim. There's hourglass,pear,apple etc. There's also height taken into account.I'm short with little arms and legs and a long body i sound so attractive so whilst 10 stone might be a fine bodyweight for a person who is 5'8 its still overweight for me. 9stone is fine for me because im an hourglass but not for someone with an athletic body shape. Through healthy eating and excercise your body will settle at the right weight for your shape.

I wouldn't. When I have lost weight at home using ww online the kids have never known. We have just happened to be eating more healthy family meals and perhaps they had ice cream afterwards but I didn't.

I have been very careful to keep this from them as I feel I have long term weight issues due to my mother's obsession with it when I was growing up. I lost 4 stone a few years ago and they only commented on me having new clothes, no comment about my weight at all. They genuinely didn't notice! I'd prefer it not to be an issue they even have to honk about (they both have DH's physique, tall and slim).

think about not honk about!!

I took DD to my weigh in once when I had no half-term childcare but we didn't stay for the talk. I didn't want to lose my money by not turning up!

I would not want a (then) 7 year old sitting in a room with a load of large women obsessing over whatever new product they could eat for free or how many syns they could eat if they did xyz. Which was my experience of SW and why I no longer do it, so far as I could see we were all losing and gaining the same 2lb every week and people who needed help and support were told 'oh well, never mind, we're all in the same boat' rather than being given constructive advice beyond 'do week one again'. It felt more like an enabling group than a weight loss support environment.

Having said that, if there are play facilities there (there weren't any at our group) and your DD is only four and not clingy (no way could I have had an uninterrupted hour with mine at that age) I doubt 2 sessions will do her any harm. Not something to make a habit of, though.

She's talking about taking her once or twice. Not daily or even weekly for months on end. I think it has been taken well of out context now.

Not to mention the fact that in about 6 months she will be doing the Reception year 'Healthy Eating' bollocks, which frankly, is far more damaging to small children than two mornings spent playing with other kids in the vacinity of a SW meeting.

I just don't get the taboo around losing weight.

I doubt anyone would have a problem with their child knowing that people have to have their teeth filled at the dentist.

Or that they need their hair cut at the hairdressers.

So why the problem with them knowing that when people gain too much weight, they go to a slimming club to help lose it?

Weight gain/weight loss is a normal part of life. At some time in everyone's life we will gain/lose weight.

I think all this taboo over something so normal is likely to do more harm than good, given the obesity pandemic.