To NOT go on the family holiday?

[Spidermama]

Dh has been away working abroad for seven and a half weeks. We have four children who've been on school holidays for the last five of those and I work full time. 5am til 12.

(I'll just let you take that in.)

So ... DH is due back late tomorrow night and early on Tuesday morning we're due to go to France together. Only, I've had enough. I've held it together for the entire holiday. I've failed to manage to get them to significantly help. They've been rude and have argued all holiday. I've felt so alone but I've had to keep it together.

Anyway, I really need to be on my own. The looming 'holiday' involves going to a chalet in the Ardèche with DH and my four tormentors, self-catering. I really don't think it'll be much of a holiday even though DH says he'll do the lions share of the work.

AIBU to let them all go away together and bond while I stay at home and try to stabilise my mental health back?

Then come back with a plan. All privileges/toys/fun/nice food removed until set chores are completed, DAILY. You need a key, and a lockable trunk. Learn to re-set the wifi password and change it daily. Wage war, and win!

Stay in your own home and re-charge your batteries. It will do you the world of good and is great timing with school year around the corner. Before they go you and DH should sit them down and explain how horrible they have been. You never know they might change their attitude - for a while at least.

OP, in your shoes, I would be very tempted to stay home. Don't wear yourself out, if you do stay home. Make it a holiday, for you. Kick back, enjoy your peace and quiet, , etc. Just tell your friend, plans have changed.
On the other hand, if you think that a change of scene would help, and if your husband fully realises how hard things have been, for you, consider going along, if and ONLY if, you can relax, and the children pull their weight,
Take care of yourself, and decide what is best, for YOU, when you are deciding whether or not to go.

GO.. Your DH sounds like a decent man. As soon as you get into holiday mode and have a bit of a break you'll be fine. Get him to book you a spa day, go out walking, sit in bars and cafes with the paper or a good book and you'll feel fine again. You might even find you want to spend time with DC.

Stay home. Your couch-surfer will understand. Your DH and DC will have a good time together, and come back to find you sane and refreshed (and possessed of a plan to put those freeloaders to work! ). You need a holiday from them, and badly. So go ahead and have it.

I actually think that if you DO decide not to go with them you should go somewhere else instead, at least for a couple of nights. Staying at home might just constantly remind you of their messy bedrooms, the way they hog the telly etc. And you will still have to do a bit of food shopping and cooking and cleaning. If it were me, I would book a last minute couple of nights in a quiet seaside hotel somewhere. Cliff top walks, fresh air, cream tea and a book in a cafe - bliss!

Anyway..... We're all different, aren't we? . Have you decided anything yet?