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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
MollyHooper · 26/08/2013 19:08

Cocolepew and everlong mentioned this thread but I don't think TSC did.

Either was I wouldn't worry too much about it OP, MN is like everywhere else. People talk.

I don't think anyone was accusing you of being that troll.

MollyHooper · 26/08/2013 19:08

Either way

TiggyD · 26/08/2013 19:10

Another victim of an incautious troll hunter.

everlong · 26/08/2013 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MollyHooper · 26/08/2013 19:21

Yes everlong, I think things are getting mixed up.

TSC is talking about a troll and because this thread was mentioned the OP has thought you guys were implying she was SS.

You weren't though, right?

everlong · 26/08/2013 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HepsibarCrinkletoes · 26/08/2013 19:28

OFFS. TSC cold be talking about a gazillion fucking thread. Why on earth have you decided it is all about you. Bollocks to that. Unless of course you're guilty of bullshitting, in which case it's probably wise to stop no?

onedev · 26/08/2013 19:31

Op I haven't seen the other thread but sorry it's upset you. Glad you have a plan (sort of) for moving forward at the school gates. Smile

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/08/2013 19:34

Perhaps it would have been better if TSC had had the courage to name the threads and poster she thinks are fictitious, instead of posting a series of vague insinuations that cause upset, Hepsibah. How about you take this up with her, as the author of the problem, rather than coming over here to be unpleasant.

MollyHooper · 26/08/2013 19:36

That's fine.

I was just pointing out that TSC didn't mention this thread and in IMO wasn't implying that the OP was a troll.

MollyHooper · 26/08/2013 19:39

Oh great logic there Hepsibah.

Your upset at being called a troll therefore you must be a troll, right? RIGHT?!

cushtie335 · 26/08/2013 19:40

What a shame this thread has been derailed by self-styled troll hunters. The OP seems the type of person who takes things to heart, so well done for scaring her away from a classic thread.

Sparklingbrook · 26/08/2013 19:41

I was about to say the same cushtie. Bet the Op is glad to have waved goodbye to the thread. Sad

TheSecondComing · 26/08/2013 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MollyHooper · 26/08/2013 19:41

Bah, You're

YouTheCat · 26/08/2013 19:43

Instead of people speculating about the honesty/troll status of threads why the hell don't they just report?

All this shite just makes genuine posters feel crap for no good reason.

TheSecondComing · 26/08/2013 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HepsibarCrinkletoes · 26/08/2013 19:46

I think making comments about another poster from another thread is not on. Obviously you don't. I do and I commented. I think a tad sme to do that myself. Oh well.

No logic involved, but really? There's no need to run away boohooing if you've done nothing wrong. And if TSC was to name every fricking OP who's talking out their arse, that itself would take up an entire 1000 post thread at the moment.

HappyYoni · 26/08/2013 19:47

AND......relax!

YouTheCat · 26/08/2013 19:47

So why not report it as a work of fiction then? Hmm

squoosh · 26/08/2013 19:48

OP I don't think you're ridiculous nor an attention seeker.

I would forget about CuntPuffin Mum, she sounds totally clueless and self absorbed, there's nothing to be gained there. She will continue on in life in much the same vein.

Take full advantage of a satisfying bitching session with some of the Yellow Band Mums should it arise though! Smile

Good luck with working on your assertiveness.

jumpingpillows · 26/08/2013 19:49

FFS this is a troll thread! The schools ain't back yet!!

Wink
cushtie335 · 26/08/2013 19:50

OP. Sorry your terrific thread has been derailed by people with an agenda.

I too think that the Cuntpuffin will never see what she did wrong and trying to make her will result in nothing but worry and distress for you.

I sincerely hope you can get a positive out of the whole situation, i.e. friendships with the other "yellow banders" and to put the whole nasty situation behind you.

Good luck.

MollyHooper · 26/08/2013 19:52

This thread was mentioned though TSC, maybe not by you.

So the OP wasn't completely assuming things, she just got her assumptions mixed up.

TheSecondComing · 26/08/2013 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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