Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
Buzzardbird · 24/08/2013 19:23

Well fuck me backwards over a hot stove, I have never heard anything so ridiculous!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/08/2013 19:25

Neo - if you had read the OP's updates, you would know she RSVP'd the day she got the invitation!!

I don't usually say this, but I wish people would at least read the Op's posts, If not the whole thread.

PuppyMonkey · 24/08/2013 19:25

She RSV effing P'd

RTFT

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/08/2013 19:26

Parents turning up and expecting you to pay for siblings and give them a party bag - cheeky beyond belief - more front than Blackpool, to,use a phrase from this thread.

ExitPursuedByABear · 24/08/2013 19:27

It is easy to highlight the OP's posts.

Blueandwhitelover · 24/08/2013 19:27

OP please come back and tell us what you have decided to do x

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/08/2013 19:28

"...Well fuck me backwards over a hot stove, I have never heard anything so ridiculous!..."

On a first date, Buzzardbird? ShockGrin

gintastic · 24/08/2013 19:33

Bizarre in the extreme! Disgusting behaviour from the mum.

I did a soft play party for DD last year as her baby sister was only 5 days old and I couldn't bear doing one at home. We had to pay for 10 upfront, and then they did a sign-in sheet at the front desk - you just paid the difference before you went home. We had 20 invites, 11 RSVP and 13 turn up. So I had to pay for 3 on the way out. I wonder if this is what was supposed to happen but got lost in translation somewhere.

Even if that was the case, I have never heard of a lack of empathy quite like leaving a 6yo standing at the side of the room while others ate...

DustBunnyFarmer · 24/08/2013 19:36

I'm wondering if another approach would be collaring Annie's mum and telling her to play along with the cake-thieving seagulls if she's ever asked by your DD, explaining that it was preferable to your HFA daughter continuing to feel upset over the party & about being lied to by an adult (promise of cake). Then say it would have been much kinder to the excluded yellow band kids to have only invited 10 children if that's all she was willing/able to pay for - and also that it was wrong to assume that other families can afford to pick up the slack, especially if they've shelled out for a gift & possibly transport to/from the venue. Then "i really hope it doesn't mean Annie is excluded from other children's parties because of this - its the kind of thing that can create bad feeling with other parents."

A lot of families are really struggling at the mo - what she did was wrong on so many levels. I'm a gobshite, so I probably would have taken her aside at the venue, but I don't think it should be allowed to pass without comment. Like someone else said, more front than Blackpool!

gintastic · 24/08/2013 19:37

And cuntpuffin is my new favourite insult :-)

princesscupcakemummyb · 24/08/2013 19:37

my gosh that is awful im Shock i wouldnt be a happy bunny myself my oldest dd has been to loads of partys never nothing like that Shock

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 24/08/2013 19:38

I can't get past the ten people arriving more than 5 minutes early. The last time we went to a soft play party we arrived in a panic 2 minutes late to discover that not even the birthday child had arrived yet.

Also the "first 10" makes no sense - what if Annie's best friend had arrived 11th?

ElleBelly · 24/08/2013 19:39

Gutted for your DD and for you. Completely shitty behaviour, never heard of anyone being quite such an ignorant cow.

Lweji · 24/08/2013 19:45

We had 20 invites, 11 RSVP and 13 turn up. So I had to pay for 3 on the way out. I wonder if this is what was supposed to happen but got lost in translation somewhere

I can't see how from the OP.

From the mother's behaviour there was no confusion.

And party venues usually have a list of guests or charge the organiser for any numbers above the original, or call the organiser if more start showing up to authorise it.

Buzzardbird · 24/08/2013 19:47

I don't like to disappoint stp Grin

IceNoSlice · 24/08/2013 19:47

"Cuntpuffin" Grin

Please come back OP. hope you told her what for!

Buzzardbird · 24/08/2013 19:47

std sorry Blush

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/08/2013 19:47
Grin
DollyTwat · 24/08/2013 19:48

Truly bizarre behaviour.

I've done many parties over the years, paid extra at the end for siblings that have come too and usually do an extra 5 or so party bags in case. I've often given party bags to siblings that have come to pick up as I know the tantrums it causes when one child has a bag and sibling doesn't

I cannot get my head around how anyone could do this. So sorry for you and your dd op

Buzzardbird · 24/08/2013 19:49

Or even std...I am so sorry!

gintastic · 24/08/2013 19:52

Lweji - was vaguely attempting to be charitable.

She was a cuntpuffin.

Buzzardbird · 24/08/2013 19:52

Oh Jesus, SDT!!! It's fucking SDT you twat! I promise I will never get it wrong again...tonight Blush

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 19:53

Thanks again for the replies. I had written out a text like Bea's one but deleted it just as i was about to click send. I haven't the guts.

Do you think maybe Annie's mum accidentally put her wrong mobile number on the invitation, thus she didn't get my RSVP?

I now want to send a text just to check it's the right number.

OP posts:
squoosh · 24/08/2013 19:56

Send the text! She didn't get her number wrong, she got her priorities wrong.

Send the text to show you don't appreciate anyone treating your daughter so thoughtlessly.
Send the text to show you aren't a pushover.
Send the text to show Cuntpuffin Mum that you can't treat people like this and expect people to remain silent.

Crumbledwalnuts · 24/08/2013 20:00

I'm really not sure I would send the text. It would be no further contact and blanking form me. Text arguments are a bit weird.