Children and savings

[Cravey]

I don't know how I feel about this and don't know if I'm being silly. I have several godchildren. They all get the same gifts at Christmas and birthdays. However one of them has a sibling wh has other godparents. My godson gets the same cash gift as the other godchildren. His sister doesn't get the same amount as she isn't my godchild. Does that make sense ? I do gve her cash just not as much. Last night their mum told me that since the girl was born she has taken any money I have given my godson and shared it between them both. Then put it into savings for them. I don't know if I feel happy about that. In fact I am considering cutting down the amount I give them both to be honest. Aibu.

Where I am I have actually heard people insinuate that certain god parents were chosen on account of their.... Financial standing lets say. It most certainly factors with some people! So OP I would very diplomatically tell this mother to do one!
There are limits to generosity and you have definitely reached yours I would say

I agree with OP, Ragwort and others - if you choose different Godparents for your dcs, then you accept that the dcs may receive different things (in presents but also in time spent) from those Godparent. Such is life. It is not right to take something that has been lovingly given to one of your children - by their Godparent or anyone else for that matter - and share it out with your other dc. I'd agree with Sock, that this is, in effect, stealing from them.
I think, Cravey, you are being more than generous in still sending money, now you know it isn't been saved for your Godson. I think I would put it aside somewhere and send him a cheque once he's turned 18.

You know what guys? I am going to write to the mum and explain how very angry and upset I am. I am also going to make it clear that the cash is stopping. It will be going onto an account for when he gets older, I won't cut him off I will in fact still send them both a gift and if she doesn't like this then that's me done I'm afraid. It's so sad really as I was chatting to my eldest godchild tonight who was telling me how she appreciated everything she has had and the time we have spent together over the years. I wanted the same for this little boy too.

Sock, before MN i never dreamt parents would take money or vouchers etc and share them with others or spend them themselves. I was shocked to find it common practice and now i always give a physical gift to children.

Cravey - you sound like a lovely, caring Godmother and your Godchildren are lucky to have you.

Thanks andro I have to say I have loved it. Well until today anyway.

Don't let one rotten apple parent ruin it for you. I love my Godparents dearly, speak to them often and truly value their input into my life.

Don't worry I won't. My eldest god daughter has made me feel amazing tonight. The nicest thing she said was she had loved the time we spent together even when we just stayed at home and watched movies nd ate junk.

My goddaughter is my oldest friend's elder daughter. She is godmother to my DD2. we but presents for each other' other children but the respective godchildren always get the bigger present. I would never dream of redistributing or sharing individually given gifts. Could you just send a cheque in his name (even though you've been told not to?) that way it'll have to be paid into an account for him.

I normally buy my goddaughter a present for £20 or so and then a cheque for £20-£30 to go in her account. When I started doing this she didn't have an account, her parents opened one because of her first birthday £50 cheque from me. Her parents are utterly lovely but not savers in any way, I wanted to ensure she had a little bit set aside in a savings account in the hope that it instilled some sense of saving which was always strongly pressed into me as a child not least because I always got a £15 cheque from one godmother that was put away for me for when I was an adult and which I used to buy my first car)

I asked her about that sleepless and got a no thanks off her. I also asked about maybe paying for his riding lessons or football stuff and again no thanks. I think this is going to be stalemate and end up with me banking his money for him. We shall see. I am going to write her next week and see if her stance changes any.

I won't do vouchers or gift cards now either happymummy for exactly the same reason.

I would also be wary of a cheque in his name as if he's under about 13/14 the parents will just pay the cheque into his account then be able to withdraw the money as with young children's bank accounts you can do that