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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that if you want to go somewhere exotic for charity you should pay for it yourself?

60 replies

Madmum24 · 22/08/2013 22:29

A Family member is doing a very long trek in the Far East for charity; brilliant, a commendable act, I would sponsor generously. However, she has announced that in order to do the trek she must first raise £3500 to cover travel expenses, accommodation and fees etc. She is hosting lots of pub quizzes/jumble sales/raffles etc in the name of her charity, which I feel is a bit dishonest, as it is going towards her fees, not the charity IYKWIM.

After she raises the fees she will then expect sponsorship. AIBU to feel that not only is this slightly deceptive, but that if she really wants to help the charity she will pay for it herself and use all of the fundraising money for the charity directly?

OP posts:
MamaMumra · 22/08/2013 22:30

I do agree with you. 3.5k is a lot of money for a holiday.

FarelyKnuts · 22/08/2013 22:33

I agree too. I have aquaintances who are doing something similar and it annoys me too. I want to tell them to stay here and send the money to a better charity or pay for their fees themselves!

DanicaJones · 22/08/2013 22:34

I think this is very cheeky. If she wants to raise money for the charity she should donate herself and then pay for her own trek if she wants to do a trek.

Original poster
Madmum24 · 22/08/2013 22:34

I would point out that the fact that it is getting paid for is not public knowledge IYKWIM, at the quizzes etc it is announced as "all proceeds go to X charity" I think that this is wrong and I gently pointed this out to another family member who then went all catsbum face.

OP posts:
Original poster
Madmum24 · 22/08/2013 22:35

I would point out that the fact that it is getting paid for is not public knowledge IYKWIM, at the quizzes etc it is announced as "all proceeds go to X charity" I think that this is wrong and I gently pointed this out to another family member who then went all catsbum face.

OP posts:
BrokenSunglasses · 22/08/2013 22:35

YANBU. I wouldn't support it at all, and would tell the family member why.

DanicaJones · 22/08/2013 22:36

If she is saying "all proceeds go to X charity" then she is blatantly lying.

Lackedpunchesforever · 22/08/2013 22:37

How else do you propose she gets to where she's going though ?
This is fairly common. Loads of people do the Inca Trail, Great Wall of China etc for 'charity' when they actually have to raise loads to pay their costs. I am happy to 'sponsor' if it's a cause I support and they are raisingt he profile of the charity.

ENormaSnob · 22/08/2013 22:38

Yanbu at all.

Sirzy · 22/08/2013 22:39

I agree this is the reason I don't support this type of charity event when most of the money is to fund a holiday rather than to support the charity.

If you want to do a charity walk do it in the uk!

HorryIsUpduffed · 22/08/2013 22:41

This always crosses my mind when people do eg sky dives and cycling across the US or something. Because the first just covers costs, so unless it's a very small charity that benefits enormously from just having its name mentioned, I'd really rather give them the fiver and not fund your holiday.

In a recent thread about this someone mentioned a friend who does one of these "once in a lifetime" fundraising trips per year Hmm which must get very tedious.

Wonderstuff · 22/08/2013 22:43

Is it definitely fees or is it minimum sponsorship? I got a thing a while back about NY marathon for some charity, the organised flights and accommodation if you agreed to raise x thousand pounds sponsorship. The sponsorship was way more than the charity costs and as a participant you wouldnt be fundraising to that stent if you weren't doing the run, so it was win win. Could it be a similar thing? I presume he is putting in any shortfall not raised.

Peacocklady · 22/08/2013 22:44

Yes it's different to someone raising money to fund charitable work somewhere that needs it, she's just getting an adventure paid for.

solarbright · 22/08/2013 22:46

Offer to give directly to the charity, but not to her holiday. I hate these things, too.

comingalongnicely · 22/08/2013 22:47

This really winds me up, work did a sponsored cycle ride from London to Paris - they raised about 14k, but it cost another 7k for hotels, ferry, buying people bikes etc - I'd said to them several times that they could do the same distance in the UK, or even suggested different events that more people could take part in, but they were set on the "exotic" LON-PAR bit.

My viewpoint is that the 7k they spent on faff could also have gone into the pot the charity received....

Nowadays I tend to ask which charity they're doing it for & then donate the cash to them directly, I'm not going to pay for someone to have croissants on the ferry thank you very much!!

specialsubject · 22/08/2013 22:47

exactly. Refuse all contribution and say you are sending direct to the charity concerned.

sponsored holidays are not the idea.

happyinherts · 22/08/2013 22:50

I've just refused to go to a charity event to raise £4000 for a 18 year old to go to Mozambique on a gap year to do charity work.

To my mind this 18 year old should have either put her own money towards it or family help if it's something she's wanted to do for so many years.

To my mind it's wrong to effectively ask others to donate towards your living costs and there is so much charity work to do in UK, dont have to go to Mozambique. People thought I was being unreasonable but I dont think I am

Wonderstuff · 22/08/2013 22:56

I do understand the frustration, but I think that the reality is spending 7k to raise 14k does raise funds, people rarely go to such trouble to raise money for purely altruistic reasons.

Must admit though I give monthly to a few charities, only ever supported one of these things when it was the local school sending pupils to a link African school.

Wonderstuff · 22/08/2013 23:00

I do think young people seeing third world is useful life changing stuff. Yes ther is charity to be done in the UK, but not like the work in the third world, we are very privilidged in the UK

pigletmania · 22/08/2013 23:00

Yanbu at all, you are basically funding their holiday. If you can't afford it don't go. I would give directly to the charity or related charities. There are certain organisations that require the person the ease a certain amount before they go

Jinsei · 22/08/2013 23:04

YANBU at all. I would rather just donate the cash directly to the charity, tbh. And if someone claimed that it was all going to the charity and it later transpired that it was paying for their holiday instead, I'd ask for my money back. However, if people are prepared to fund their own holidays, I'll gladly sponsor them to undertake challenges for charity while they're there.

Original poster
Madmum24 · 22/08/2013 23:11

There is also a minimum sponsorship needed AFTER the £3500 has been raised. I think it is £1000. But just to clarify that the charity will not be paying any expenses, but a prerequisite is that you need £1000 donation (ie from sponsors) It seems silly to me that you will only donate one quarter of what it cost? But then again (according to family) every little bit helps, and my cousin (the trekker) is sacrificing so much time/effort to help poor people and get a suntan into the bargain

This is her fourth time I will add! Not the same location/charity albeit, but she sees it as a "bug" she has caught and genuinely believes she is making a big difference. It's the self gratification element that really irks at me.

OP posts:
Jinsei · 22/08/2013 23:45

I'd politely decline to sponsor her, OP. She should be paying for her own holidays.

HappyMummyOfOne · 23/08/2013 12:24

YANBU, these things are mainly about the person getting a free holiday or activity.

I would only sponsor if i knew they had paid the 3.5k themselves and that the sponsorship was actually going to the charity. I tend to stick to the same 3 charities though in the main as i dont agree with all charities.

EduCated · 23/08/2013 12:29

YANBU, especially fishes not being up front about it. A uni friend did one and couldn't understand why we were horrified when she used £80 of 'sponsor' money she'd raised to buy an iPod on the basis that she needed it to keep her entertained on the flight there Shock Hmm