AIBU- Daddy track??

[scrummummy]

have you seen this- article in the Harvard Business Review about the views of parenting in the work place. Looking at the problems that men are having because they have family obligations.

Harvard Business Review: What's a Working Dad to Do? google.com/producer/s/CBIw9rC0kAM

As we all know we have a "mommy track" now we have a "daddy track"??

AIBU to think that maybe instead of any of these tracks we just have working people and businesses that understand that people have a life outside work? so no mommy or daddy tracks??

bump really no one has any views??

I think it's because your link isn't clickable
so the post is difficult to understand.

Tick the little box to make a clicky link.

oh ok
when i did a preview it worked.

google.com/producer/s/CBIw9rC0kAM

I don't understand why some employers, especially in certain sectors, think they own their staff.

I think it's a fair view, men are viewed less as being emergency child are etc than the wife/partner etc.

I think it's suggestions are a bit patronising, but I do feel women are expected to be the flexible ones and men are supposed to be the bread winners. It's changing fast but workplaces aren't all catching on as quick.

I think there probably is a "daddy track" for that small subsection of high powered fathers who want to be involved with their kids. If there were a critical mass of fathers who are affected in this way I'd say that this is good news in that it could lead to meaningful pressure to make changes in workplace culture around parenting.

The problem is that I strongly suspect that of those very pressued careers like law etc (as in the example of the bloke flying transatlantic to see his kids every other weekend) the number of blokes who are actually prepared to demand this kind of parenting time or their employer is probably marginal.

For all the large numbers of women in the workplace the reality is that in the overwhelming majority of these careers (investment banking/corporat law/senior journalism/accountancy) etc, at the very high levels it is still overwhelmingly men and while their wives/partners may work, the numbers of them whose work is so important that they have to be "all in" is still fairly small.

So the idea of a "daddy track" is a bit of a red herring and a gimmick at the moment. If it becomes a real issue then its good news for us.

no I don't think it is a "red herring". my dh last appraisal this week complained about his time keeping as we had ill children in my first week of new job (Feb). he had to take 2 weeks off. then when the school cancelled he changed his hours to 10-3 ( again new contract for me) for 2 weeks.(jun). now we make the same money £50+ each but when he takes time off for plays/end of term stuff. he gets openly mocked. all his peers work early and late as their DW either doesn't work or its pt. and they all have moved back to DW hometown. do leave at 6 and home at 8 do don't see their children mon- fri. but my dh wants to see his children before they go to bed and see them in the morning infuriates me.

scrummummy sorry to hear that your dh has been given a hard time. And I didn't mean to imply that it wasn't relevant. But I think the fact that he was being mocked by his peers for this points to the degree to which situations like yours are still relatively unusual.

I have experienced some of this at a lower level because although I earn more than my DH (not by a huge amount), it tends to be me that has to take time off for child sickness etc, partly because my DH's boss tends to dock pay but also culturally, because in the industry he works in there are almost no examples of fathers becoming involved in childcare stuff which requires them to take time off work.

So his boss would just be nonplussed if, for example, he were to ask to reduce his hours.

I think the fact that high-paid men are noticing and raising this is positive, but I still think we're quite a long way away from critical mass. And some industries are much more tolerant of the idea of men playing a hands on role in parenting (and the impact on their work that that brings with it) than others.

questa
working in the city in London is difficult. we both work in IT him in the city in financial services. me in Digital media/ ecommerce. he has the city to contend with where DW is a sahm and I have meeedia 24/7 work idiots to deal with. gggrrh

I will say the company me and dh work for are very family orientated, a lot depends on your manager but both myself and my dh have had positive experiences when needing to sort emergencies out at home.

My DH has been where he is for nearly a year now. Despite the greater commute and the now slightly awkward juggling of pre-school drop off/pick ups, it's actually worked out very well. His current employer is flexible, and so far seem to be very understanding. On the few days that our childcare has fallen through, or DD has been ill, DH has been allowed to stay home at short notice as long as he's contactable. In return he sometimes stays late to help with problems, or finish projects, but they limit this as much as possible to one set day a week, so it's never a problem for us organising care as I make sure I'm always free that day. It seems to suit both sides very well, and everyone gets the flexibilty they need to cover their responsibilities.

Despite a nominally "flexible" workplace (we both work in the same place) my flexible working request was approved and his denied for stupid, spurious reasons. We decided not to fight it because we needed to nail down the days etc with nursery so couldn't hang on, but it made me rather furious.

We've agreed that since he'll be ft and I'll be pt, if our son needs to be picked up from nursery/kept home etc, then he will do it. Because I've got fewer days to get my job done in, whereas he has all week IYSWIM.