to fake my own death so that my DDs will be invited to play.

[SurfsUpDude]

Dh will be the brave hero bringing up the girls amd I won't have to deal with the small town cliques and gossip that seem to hover over primary age friendship groups.

As an incomer I am not related to anyone or slept with anyones husband however this makes me difficult to place socially and the DDs are suffering from a lack of out of school invites.

I figure if I fit a sensor on the drive then I can hide in my lovely new summerhouse when the local ladies come round bringing cake and casseroles to console DH. The DDs will then get lots of invites on the beach, pony riding, cafe trips, etc that we keep hearing about after the event or witness as four of DD2s friends cycle past without asking us to join them.

AIBU, I do not fear the loneliness, I have namechanged & changed but have been snuggled down in this nest since dial-up days and quite enjoy pottering around the 'estate'.

We tried that, that's how we know we're not in the loop, everyones to busy being round each others houses, etc.

And I'm bored of the school run, let DH put the happy face on whilst tieing up hair and realising in the bright school daylight that DD1's face is crusted in porridge. If I'm not allowed to fake my death I'll switch breakfast to Sugar Frosted Coco Bombs if they don't leave visible post breakfast scaring.

It could work, but how so your DDs feel about the current situation? Do they have friends at school?

One of DD1s favorites to the Home Alone apart from a Horse gil Pippi Longstocking and DD2 could rock the Wednesday Addams although she'll have to dye the blond ringlets - maybe a sad faced, battling through Shirley Temple thing could work?

That only works in Desperate Housewives!

Sorry about typos,

The DDs are fine at school (I've checked and rechecked and had a quiet word about paranoid why), big mix of friends, very laid back, peacemakers, if someone is 'mean' they just wonder off and find someone else.
After school and holidays is just very cliquey, I try to explain it away to the DDs. but there are limits

We have asked children round, whole families round for apple pressing, BBQs, sitting around at birthday parties etc so that they can see that although we're not from round here we are naice people and our kids are naice and we tell them off if they're not naice.

Don't tell me it's not enough to just to be nice when your 6 & 8, would brushing their hair help? Getting on Facebook to like everything?

Buy a pony. Buying a pony and getting drunk on whisky in a hipflask is a guaranteed in via the local livery.

Getting a pony does seem a less drastic solution, less paperwork for one...

Or start a rumour that your children are really the fruits of an illicit affair with the richest man in the area, and that you've moved there deliberately to flaunt them on his face, that should make you suddenly Very Popular

If they have school friends then invite their friends round? I invited a number of DD's friends (age 9) round to bake - they all had a lovely time. Invited all the girls in the class, some came some didn't. In the winter have invited them all round to watch a DVD with popcorn - some come some don't. Or my DH drives DD and her friends to swimming pool (they are 9 so he doesn't need to go in) - means they get reciprocal playdates etc.

Are you in an area where not 'bein' from round 'ere' is important? Would you have to have family going back to the Doomesday Book to fit in or would it just help if your father was an earl? Trying to work out if we are in Kensington or Somerset here...

Move to a less snobby area?

Are you happy to have these soulless witches women fawning over the village's new widower? He might like playing the tortured protagonist a bit too much. Ooh, there a good book in there somewhere...

See, the lovely teacher at DDs school might actually die :( She is leaving behind two children who go to the school. So to read this OP made me feel a little bit sick if i'm honest.

I'd rather have a lama but that's not the point is it, its all about fitting in, which is obviously what I'm very bad at, I always seem to have the conversational shovel, digging a hole, off on a tangent.....

Anyway I have read Black Beauty when I was twelve and cried so obviously I know all there is to know about equine care. I'm thinking lots of brushing, a hot oat mash thing for special days and walk them around if they get tummy ache. How hard can it be...

Am not going down the 'hanky-panky' route evidently it was not the done thing to suggest to a woman who I thought I knew but with it turns out a rather missing sense of humour my previous solution.

SOOO the lady said, confiding, that her overscheduled DS didn't get many invites only 2 or 3 a week, only child, lives on busy street with similar aged kids either side and I said, same here DD2 invited only once a year by bestest ever school friends what can I do, offer/threaten to sleep with their DHs? That is evidently not so ridiculous it's obviously meant to be just a lighthearted , pass the time, conversation at pick up time but is actually worth repeating back to others and then being told off for.

So AIBU to fake my own death to allow my DDs to socially bloom in this small town.

Hi there
Sorry to read that youre going through a bad patch at the moment.
Should you need it our mental health webguide is here
Thanks
MNHQ

Where is the small town?

mental health webguide??

I thought this was mostly light hearted and ranty. Have I missed something?

Oh LEM sorry, cross posted, this thread is/was totally light hearted.

DD1's 40ish teaching assistant lost her husband last year, outside of school I did n't know them at all but sent a card. She said the hardest thing was facing everyone locally, who obviously knew but had n't formally acknowledge taht they knew but just sort of stared. I hope it all works out for the family concerned obviously no upset was intended by this.

So derailing my own thread: if someone locally dies and it's all round he neighbourhood, write a quick note, you can say you don't know what to say and honestly just that helps a tiny, tiny bit when you really need a lot of support.

Now I've scared Oliva, this was n't supposed to happen, I was just going to hid with the full knowledge of my family in a glorified shed.

I'm going to have to get a pony are n't I.

is actually worth repeating back to others and then being told off for.

Who did the telling off? What did they say?

Well I do have a face like a horse's arse

Thanks surfs - i would just worry about tempting fate if im honest :(

But i feel your pain, i suffer from cliquey mum brigade however my reason is because i AM from round here and the new trendy mums aren't :)