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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to punch the mother I saw yesterday getting baby's ear's pierced?

477 replies

ElleBelly · 21/08/2013 11:59

Was in Claire's Accessories yesterday with my 4yo daughter, and there was a Mum getting baby's ear's pierced. Bab must have been about six months, and was screaming her head off, made me feel sick. Cannot for the life of me understand why people put their children through that at that age. It's so cruel. And mother was laughing with friends about it! Have got DS second lot of imms this week and dreading it, pathetic,over emitional,hormone befuddled woman I am, and just think its so wrong to put a baby through that pain uneccessarily.
Sorry for the rant but I so wanted to give her a slap.

OP posts:
LaRosaBella · 21/08/2013 17:09

Fedup- but there not your ears?! I never got mine done and I have no urge to, I don't like earrings enough to go through getting them pierced. I also have a 5 month old and I will never make decisions for her that changes her appearance forever. When's she is older if she wants her ears pierced, then that is her choice.

LaRosaBella · 21/08/2013 17:13

It may do, i wouldnt know but its a choice some mothers may have to make or face losing their homes or starving? Where as ear piercing is purely for aesthetic reasons.

You may not having scarring but not everyone's ears do close cleanly. Also the risk of a baby pulling out, or them getting caught on something and ripped out, aswell as being painful could cause much worse damage.

celticclan · 21/08/2013 17:13

mignonette, two wrongs don't make a right. Not that I'm saying nursery is wrong but you get the point.

My holes have closed over but you can reopen them by pushing an earring through. I think I went over 20 years without wearing earrings.

VisualiseAHorse · 21/08/2013 17:14

If you took a piercing gun to any other part of a baby or child's body, that would be abuse. Plain and simple.

What make the ear lobe so fucking special?

Jolleigh · 21/08/2013 17:14

StephenFrySaysSo - you linked to a site that confirms that docking isn't illegal. Think you're getting confused because docked dogs can't be used in shows as an example if the breed - they can only be shown for working ability.

mignonette · 21/08/2013 17:16

I never said two wrongs don't make a right.

However if you are an Anthropology buff there are thousands of different cultures all with traditions/rites of passage/cultural beliefs that we would find hair raising.

My holes are sealed- totally Grin. No webs of skin.

StephenFrySaidSo · 21/08/2013 17:16

that site clearly states that docking is illegal.

StephenFrySaidSo · 21/08/2013 17:18

"The Animal Welfare Act 2006 makes the docking of dogs' tails a criminal offence, except for working dogs such as those used by the police force, the military, rescue services, pest control, and those used in connection with lawful animal shooting. Three options were presented to Parliament in March 2006 with Parliament opting for the second:
An outright ban on docking dogs' tails (opposed by a majority of 278 to 267)
A ban on docking dogs' tails with an exception for working dogs (supported by a majority of 476 to 63)
Retention of the status quo.

Those convicted of unlawful docking are liable to a fine of up to £20,000, up to 51 weeks of imprisonment or both.

In Northern Ireland legislation known as Welfare of Animals Act (Northern Ireland) 2011made Tail Docking Illegal except for certain working dogs. .[10]

In Scotland docking of any breed is illegal. The Animal Health and Welfare (Scotland) Act 2006 contains provisions prohibiting the mutilation of domesticated animals."

celticclan · 21/08/2013 17:19

I thought mine were too mignonette. Just try, its fun. Dh was disgusted watching me do it. It was a really weird sensation and a little painful. That makes me sound a bit weird...

glossyflower · 21/08/2013 17:19

I haven't read all 200 odd posts but I read the first page.
My there's some strong opinions isn't there?!
The day after having my DD I overheard another new mother saying she couldn't wait to get out to have her newly born DD ears pierced.
I was disgusted but each to their own I guess.
I had my ears pierced at 7 years old. My mum never forced me, I had asked to have them done and she agreed I could.
I think I was at an age old enough to know what it entailed and made that choice for myself.
If my DD wants hers done when she's old enough I will let her. But no way would I change or adapt her body for cosmetic reasons otherwise. It just seems cruel.

mignonette · 21/08/2013 17:20

Celt.. If I get bored later I will try Grin...

AmandaHoldenmigroin · 21/08/2013 17:23

YABU for wanting to punch another mum.

fedupofpoo · 21/08/2013 17:26

Larosabella,I make decisions for my children every day.should I let them decide everything for themselves?what to eat,when to go to bed ,what to wear etc.a little hole isn't changing her appareance forever,its barely visible.a little stud doesn't have much chance to be ripped off or whatever.little pain for few seconds and its done,nothing to be worked up about.to each their own

Jolleigh · 21/08/2013 17:27

StephenFrySaysSo - it actually states that it is illegal for dogs that are not considered to be working breeds. It even gives you specific examples of breeds that the law allows to be docked. Very similar to what I stated originally really.

Pretty sure that the vets and breeders my info came from know their stuff. It appears you're either failing to read my posts properly or the Wikipedia page.

Jolleigh · 21/08/2013 17:30

And StephenFrySaysSo should you look further than your trusty Wikipedia, you'll see that a breeder only needs to prove that a single dog will be used for working purposes, then the breeder is legally allowed to dock the tails off the whole litter.

ladymariner · 21/08/2013 17:32

Pmsl at posters saying that reins on a toddler are cruel etc.....my ds loved going for walks with his grandad, we always put his reins on him before they went off simply because ds, even when tiny, was quick as an eel and my df obviously wasn't! What a ridiculous thing to say......

StephenFrySaidSo · 21/08/2013 17:34

my post was in response to this comment you made "The RSPCA only made it more difficult, certainly not illegal."

this comment is incorrect. tail docking is illegal. you can choose to misinterpret the law if you like but it is illegal. certain breeds make the owner exempt from prosecution providing they meet specific criteria but it is illegal.

Jolleigh · 21/08/2013 17:34

And by 'proof' I should probably clarify...a letter from a farmer saying he'll be buying one of the dogs to hunt with is considered plenty. My vet was very specific about that one.

JedwardScissorhands · 21/08/2013 17:35

Actually, my little insignificant holes in my ears cause me a fair bit of trouble. Had them done willingly as an older child. Each to their own, but that argument doesn't hold, fedupofpoo.

Jolleigh · 21/08/2013 17:37

My comment, surrounded by everything else I said, is perfectly correct. The breed doesn't make them 'exempt from prosecution'...the paperwork surrounding the docking in combination with the breed makes it legal to dock certain breeds. It is legal when done in a certain way. Bugger all to do with being exempt from prosecution.

StephenFrySaidSo · 21/08/2013 17:38

you said it was "certainly not illegal" which is incorrect as it is actually illegal.

LaRosaBella · 21/08/2013 17:40

I don't think you can compare bedtime and the food you feed your child, those are parental decisions you have to make. A child needs to eat and a child needs to sleep, what a child doesn't need is to have its ears pierced when they haven't made that choice themselves, it's called body autonomy and I believe in it.

Jolleigh · 21/08/2013 17:45

And yet everyone else seems to have taken that statement in conjunction with the one earlier up the paragraph that outlined it's only illegal for dogs that are no longer considered to be working dogs. Hmm Seems you're just a pedant.

StephenFrySaidSo · 21/08/2013 17:49

everyone else? one other poster has commented on it- the lack of comment from others is not any sort of proof that any of them agree with it or have accepted it as correct.

quoteunquote · 21/08/2013 17:52

My twenty odd year old son doesn't want his ears pierced, neither does his twelve year brother, nor his nine year old sister, or the toddler niece,

I would like to know exactly what age is it considered assault to hold someone down who is screaming with resistance and make holes in their body?

and am I limited to ears? Can I force my children to have holes in any other part of their body?

Do I march them all down to Claire's Accessories and see where the cut off point is, not sure how I will pin down the twenty year old, maybe gaffer tape, but I really would like to know the age you are allowed to abject to assault at,

or are you always allowed to alter the body of anyone you gave birth to?

I'm sure if it is legal to make holes and lop bits off children all of this will have been discussed, so where is the guidelines?