AIBU to want to punch the mother I saw yesterday getting baby's ear's pierced?

[ElleBelly]

Was in Claire's Accessories yesterday with my 4yo daughter, and there was a Mum getting baby's ear's pierced. Bab must have been about six months, and was screaming her head off, made me feel sick. Cannot for the life of me understand why people put their children through that at that age. It's so cruel. And mother was laughing with friends about it! Have got DS second lot of imms this week and dreading it, pathetic,over emitional,hormone befuddled woman I am, and just think its so wrong to put a baby through that pain uneccessarily.
Sorry for the rant but I so wanted to give her a slap.

Do not cause harm.

My Mexican friends are appalled at how the British place babies in nurseries, send their children away from home to be educated and place their elderly in scuzzy care homes. We are seen as socially primitive.

Not defending ear piercing (especially as i had it done against my will whilst growing up in Central America) but plenty of moral arrogance and cultural 'superiority' on display here. Nor am I anti doing any of the things I mentioned above but our glasshouse is a sodding large one.

Your babies ears aren't yours they are that babies ears, you shouldn't be able to choose to alter them for your own pleasure when there is no medical reason. Your baby should make the decision if they want piercings when they are old enough. I think its very egotistical to take that decision away from your child.

I didn't use reins because I found them to be a hindrance. However, I'm surprised at your children expressing horror at seeing children being kept safe.

Thanks, Mignonette for excellent example. I know people who don't eat as a family at table, but in front of the telly. It's socially primitive, probably contributes to obesity, and seems ridiculous to me and probably to most South Europeans...

As for living in nuclear families, I don't think everyone who does this elsewhere lives in a big house - they just make sacrifices that we would consider ridiculous in order to look after their parents.

Exactly Sam. I visit my friends regularly and see the sacrifices they and their families make to ensure people are looked after. Yes, they pierce their children's ears. No, I do not agree with it. But comparing it to FGM is like comparing feeding a child junk food w/ starving him to death. The comparison is a breathlessly hysterical one.

The two are not comparable.

By our norms!

The French would argue that ear piercing is (in the majority of cases), an instant of pain, completely harmless in the long term.
They would say that being held on a lead, is morally and psychologically damaging to a toddlers self esteem and even a deprivation of liberty". Really.

Having neither used reins, nor had DD's ears pierced, I don't care one way or another, but I really find the whole "culture" argument very one-sided and narrow-minded!

But why are we comparing pierced ears to toddler reins and care homes anyway?

Lots of other cultures do things differently and better than the UK. I have noticed that lots of other countries seem to be a closer knit than the UK and families often support each more. Still can't understand why it justifies piercing a babies ears though.

It isn't just a cultural thing anyway. People in my family have pierced their babies ears and they didn't do it for "cultural" reasons.

but these are considered part of British culture. Because they're not. They're not even traditional or the norm - nurseries and care homes are simply one of a number of options available. I have never seen, in a debate about reins, anyone refer to it as part of our culture. But culture is always given as a reason why many people pierce their babies ears on these debates. And it's bullshit. It's a tradition.

I don't know anyone who's used reins?

*these are not considered

thanks for the info about tail docking Jolleigh, I didn't know that.

phew, thanks for pointing that out re fee.

still think that if I stuck 2 drawing pins in a child it would be seen as abuse and dont see piercing any different. Just because other cultures do it doesnt mean it is right.

rabbit as i said most if not all women will have their ears pierced at some point.i think is better done earlier,babies heal very quickly and when they get to 3/4 they are going to start wanting earrings,son better they had it already rather then doing it then and them remembering etc.pain only lasts a couple of minutes,its not like is a surgery or anything,its not necessary to have it done at 4months but its better imo.

Interesting that people here are saying that OP is being unreasonable. MN has so much about safeguarding and reporting abusive parenting yet poking sharp metal through a baby's flesh is okay as long as it's for earrings? I doubt the answers would be teh same if teh mother was poking her baby with sharp metal in any other (none medical) situation...

Ugh, I don't seem to be able to type 'the' properly

oh I know lots of people who use reins - not usually for 1st child but I do with dtds and everyone I know with multiples does but also many with 2 or more dc - perhaps it's due to the fact that 4 years ago a family I know nearly lost there dc (2) when she was hit by a car. She survived but is brain damaged. It was in all the local media so maybe we are extra cautious?

tail docking is illegal

Andro - completely agree.
dd1 is 5 and mentioned it for the first time - I said no she's too young, she said "does it hurt?" I said "a little bit yes" she has decided she doesn't like pain and won't ever have them done. Obviously she might change her mind but it's her body and her choice.

I took my daughter for her jabs at the doctors and there was a mother there saying "oh i hate bringing my daughter for jabs, my mother has to go in with her it upsets me too much" then went on to say "shes having her ears pierced tomorrow" baby was under six months old!! Couldnt believe it!

fed - that is simply not true that most if not all women get their ears pierced. I can think of 4 close friends straight away who don't (and I don't have that many close friends, so that's a reasonable proportion). A decision they made for themselves, not one that was made for them.

Anyway how is piercing ears and nurseries comparable?
One is the choice to alter without permission a physical appearance of another human, forever. The other is a choice a family may have to make if they need to work and have no family to help with childcare.

It's not better. My niece was in hospital as a baby with problems relating to having her ears pierced. She could have been spared that.

You say children want to have ears pierced at 3/4 well just say no. The majority of young children do not have pierced ears so peer pressure is not an issue.

Dh's niece is 14 and has recently chosen to have her ears pierced, it hurt a little but she is 14 she is old enough to take it. She had to have it done at the beginning of the school holidays as earrings (even studs) are not allowed at school.

that is my opinion,i dont expect everyone to agree with it.rabbit was asking my reasons for piercing DD ears when she was a baby and i explained,and of.i only have 1 friend that hasn't got her ears pierced and thats only because of a health problem

Because some cultures would argue that day care for babies causes more long term damage than a gold stud. Playing Devils Advocate here as i am a working Mother.

And it doesn't alter appearance forever. My ear holes closed up when I was sixteen from not wearing earrings and there is no scarring or evidence that they were ever there.