AIBU to want to punch the mother I saw yesterday getting baby's ear's pierced?

[ElleBelly]

Was in Claire's Accessories yesterday with my 4yo daughter, and there was a Mum getting baby's ear's pierced. Bab must have been about six months, and was screaming her head off, made me feel sick. Cannot for the life of me understand why people put their children through that at that age. It's so cruel. And mother was laughing with friends about it! Have got DS second lot of imms this week and dreading it, pathetic,over emitional,hormone befuddled woman I am, and just think its so wrong to put a baby through that pain uneccessarily.
Sorry for the rant but I so wanted to give her a slap.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Sam: How do you mean, though, 'best interests'? Which of the baby's interests are served by ear piercing?

[Jolleigh]

TheOriginal - I get where you're coming from completely RE instating an age limit. I just think there are much much more serious issues that those who determine the law should be using their time tackling.

Yes, many of us don't like it and I'd certainly be uncomfortable watching it. But I respect the fact that the parent has their own motives and they've weighed up any possible risks against those motives.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

But that's kind of the problem, right - they've weighed up their motives against the risks to the baby. And the motives can't be really anything to do with the child's welfare, either - a baby isn't upset by being thought a boy, or not looking cute enough, is it?

[MummyBeerest]

My Dr's office offers ear piercing for a fee. I don't intend on getting DD's ears pierced, if only for the practical reasons-infection risk, her constant pulling on her ears if she has an ear infection or teething, not wanting to have to clean ONE MORE THING, potentially losing fancy earrings because kids lose things, no one ever buys me earrings-etc. Etc.

But I'd wonder why one just wouldn't go to the Dr instead of some teenaged apprentice ay Claire's. Hell ofa lot less ssketchy IMO.

[Jolleigh]

I don't see the benefit to the baby whatsoever (see my original response) but everybody has their own ideas about what constitutes bad parenting. Many parents would rather pierce a little girl's ears very young because they're extremely unlikely to remember it, whereas if they waited until the child asked, the child is much more likely to remember. I'd personally rather sit safe in the knowledge that my daughter asked for the piercings, but I certainly won't sit and try to change the opinions of those who hold the psychological effects of later piercing in high regard.

[nat138]

Really tho! you call ear piercing mutilation!!!! like really!!! I lack words.
Well people should learn to respect other people's values/beliefs/views as long as these do not lead to death.

I have no issue whatsoever with babies ears being pierced, just do it at the doctors instead of an accessories shop, eye threading shops or tattoo parlours.

[SamG76]

TOSN - I don't know what the baby's interests are, but the parents probably do, which is why although I wouldn't pierce my DD's ears, it doesn't bother me especially if someone else does it to their kids. If there were any evidence that the kids were in any way neglected, or that the parents didn't have their interests at heart, that would be a different matter.

[jellybeans]

YANBU. I think it looks awful to be honest but rightly or wrongly it is the parents choice. My girls were about 10 & 12 when they had theirs done and it was a good age. I would have let them from about age 7/8 probably but not much younger. I waited till it was their choice.

[BlingBang]

Lovestogarden - how do you know you would not do it if yor were born and brought up in another country where it was regarded as the norm? That alone sounds very little England or in your case Scotland.

[zatyaballerina]

It's unnecessary distress for the baby, I think ear piercing is fine once they're old enough to ask for it and take care of the cleaning themselves but babies and toddlers are too young. There's also a danger of them ripping them out by pulling at them or another kid pulling at them in the playground. I always wonder with parents who do this to their girls, how do they prevent that? Wrap them up like little dolls and refuse to let them run around amongst the other toddlers in case they rip their ear lobe???

[DropYourSword]

I have had a LOT of body piercings over the years (50+) and every single one of them has hurt. As an adult I knew and accepted that would be the case because I wanted the end result but I don't think it's fair to force piercings onto babies. People are very surprised at my stance but I genuinely believe there should be a minimum age for body piercings and an absolute ban on piercing guns.

[RabbitIssue]

Nat - so you're ok with anything that doesn't lead to 'death'

Ok, mind if I chop my dc's arms off then? I think they look prettier that way.

And no one is equating FGM to ear piercing, we're simply saying that everyone who says 'it's cultural' as if that were an argument, is a bit thick, because you could argue that about fgm and no one would, would they??

[HappyMummyOfOne]

Earings in babies and primary school children look tacky and cheap and is a reflection of the parents.

Piercings should all be 16 years plus. That way the consent is given by the person who will have holes in their body for the rest of their life. Another adult should not be able to choose to do that to a minor.

[Jolleigh]

Ok Rabbit...everyone who doesn't agree with you is thick.

This just got a bit too playground for me ladies.

Enjoy being judgmental. Hope you're all perfect parents who never make decisions that others disagree with.

[RabbitIssue]

Jolleigh - I've asked for someone to explain to me why anyone would do it and no one has. That can only lead me to believe that anyone choosing to do it is a bit thick. What else would you call them?

Harming your child for no reason - erm either thick or cruel then? Is that a better word?

[SirChenjin]

From Unicef -

"The views of the child means that the voice of children must be heard and respected in all matters concerning their rights. Countries must promote children's active, free and meaningful participation in decision-making that affects them".

So, piercing a screaming child fits in with this how exactly?

[JedwardScissorhands]

I wouldn't do it, I'm not especially bothered if other parents do as it isn't my business, although I would support legislation making it illegal to pierce children.

[fedupofpoo]

Meh,had DD done when she was 4 months,cried 2 min then as happy as usual.never had a problem in 5 years,no infections or anything.can't see it as a big deal.on the other hand,had mine done at 10 years old,had lots of problems,infections etc and had to have it done again.most women wear earings,so better have it done earlier then later imo,it heals quicker

[RabbitIssue]

FedUp - can you explain why you had it done though? You say better earlier than later but you know it's not compulsory right? Can you explain why you felt your 4 month old needed earrings? This is a genuine question, I just don't get it.

[StephenFrySaidSo]

it's not inevitable that a person will choose to have their ears pierced upon reaching an age where they can decide you know. getting it done as a baby to save them remembering the pain is ridiculous because there is no obligation for that person ever to have their ears pierced. in other words you are inflicting needless pain on a baby.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yabu.

Keep your hands to yourself.

[roundtable]

I saw a newborn getting his ear pierced sat in a chair in the middle of the chemists.

Apart from the hygiene issue and that the gun was as big as the baby's head, the crying that came from the baby made me feel physically sick.

I judged, it should be banned. There is no benefit to the pain except for the aesthetic aspect. Just because it's not illegal, didn't mean it's right.

I find it extraordinary how certain posters jump on certain threads judging the judgers and claiming they judge nothing. Having a moral compass means making judgements. How can everything be ok? Where is the line drawn?

[loopyluna]

Well said, loopyluna - snobby and judgy sums it up.

Do the parents of kids in your daughter's class appear to be neglecting their kids in any other ways. If not, as I suspect, it's something they think is in the kids' best interests.

Nope. No issues at all. It's a private school in an affluent suburb of Paris. It's just not considered as a bad thing this side of the channel. (The French have a totally different concept of chavvy!)

[SirChenjin]

"Keep your hands to yourself"

Absolutely - and let the baby choose for him/herself when it reaches an age where it can make a decision what it does to his/her body.

[BlingBang]

happymumofone - they look tacky to you, obviously not to millions of parents round the world. would you really judge all those people alike?