What's the most pampered/indulged behaviour you've ever seen?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

When I used to have a proper job , one of my colleagues would phone her mom at the first spit of rain to go and fetch her washing in. This was about 8 miles from the office (so who knew what the weather was like at home?) abd a 4 mile round trip fir the mom and dad (mom didn't drive).

SIOB that the parents would do it!

She once called home and asked her to go and wash up a breakfast bowl as she had run out of time to do it.

Is it something you are working through Threesy? It's one thing having a problem, and another not trying to solve it if it impacts on other people.

three interesting.

Thanks.:)

And yet, you 'get' why you do it , and still do?

mrshoarder
My DF brings lunch, he lives a few miles from my work.
My DH goes on the trip to the shops if I need or want something from the shop. Usually a drink of fizzy pop or chocolate if I'm not well or an item for dinner and I've forgotten it.
And no I don't have the self control. I am working on it but its a slow process

feminine
Not young at all!! 28

My parents are fit enough to cope with nipping to get me lunch it to take me somewhere!
My DH understands why he has to run around for me. He accepts it. I do plenty for him and I don't take him for granted.

Glad I am not the only one Trumpton!

I was once on a train and overheard a husband ringing his wife saying "I'm on the train darling, could you lay out the the purple shirt with the Thomas Pink cufflinks (or words to that effect)." Felt like grabbing the phone off him and telling her under no circumstances to do it!!

So glad to be in a relationship where we both do our fair share of the boring, crappy stuff.

I used to houseshare with a spoilt brat who had not the slightest clue how to look after herself and would sulk when we didn't fetch and carry. Her stupid father used to drive up from Worcester to Manchester, pick her up and drive her wherever she wanted to go. When she met a guy who lived in Southampton and wanted to see him every week Daddy had finally had enough and told her to get the train. Her utter horror at having to use public transport with the rest of the plebs has us in fits.

She had very few friends, btw. I wonder why...

I think that is still quite young crumpet as I am almost 42

:)

My DM actually does do a version of "Ding Ding".

She drinks white wine and keeps the bottle in the fridge. When her glass becomes empty she shoves it at my DF. Occasionally she will throw in a preemptive and rather short "thank you" as she swings her glass in his direction.

If I'm visiting, the glass is usually thrust in my general direction instead (I must be lower down the pecking order). She does an average of two bottles a night! Constant up and down to the bloody fridge to top up her wine!

The sulking and tantrums that result from suggesting she might want to get up and go to the kitchen herself are incredible. Bloody woman.

threesydoesit I am the complete opposite but quite like your attitude. You're with people who clearly love you and you have the self-worth to feel you're special and this behaviour ok which is a good thing . I'm always flat out looking after our DC but DH does lots of lovely things, just not 'pampering'-type stuff eg I've never ever had a pedicure/ beauty treatment as never do anything for me/ have had little self worth since a child.

I understand some of the feeling it's spoilt in one sense but also like that you have self worth

sinister
What I do doesn't impact you. I don't expect anything from anyone, I do ask those who love me to help me out at times.

I wouldn't ask someone I barely knew to do something for me an I don't shirk my responsibility at work nor home. I do what I can when I can. When I can't I ask for help and I get it in abundance for my very loving and caring family.

Those who shirk work jobs because they are below them are a problem and I've dealt with my fair share of those people. But in my situation you aren't affected one bit

Yes I am it's something that I doubt I will ever make peace with but I try.

And yes I have self worth If I thought for 1 minute my dh or parents resented me or felt like I simply used them I would stop that instant. I think dh and I see our marriage quite old fashioned I am the little trophy wife at home and he's the provider of the family. He loves to spoil myself and dds. Meh it works for us in our home were his princesses.

I'm trying to think of a delicate way to put this, but all people I've met over the years with enormous 'princess complexes' have been a little ahem non-conventionally attractive
My armchair Freud take on this is that treating someone like a slave and being waited on hand and foot is a way of reassuring themselves that they are attractive and lovable, because their partner wouldn't do it otherwise.

I have said - twice already - why you should not expect pampering and indulgences from me on this thread. Sorry if you can't cope with that.

But I notice you are changing your tune a bit and now it's all about give and take within a loving family. And not about being a spoilt princess at all!

Threesy - at least you're honest! Good for you....

looseleaf but when does "self-worth" tip over into "I'm worth it" behaviour (i.e. being self-centred and lazy).

You see I think being pampered by your loved ones is all well and good. All good relationships have a bit of that. Its a way of showing someone you love them.

But I think an adult woman particularly one with children having to rely on her mother/father/husband/flatmate to bring her her lunch/put her clothes on, run her bath is undignified, to be honest. Also I think it sets a very bad example to children -- daughters in particular.

Very good point spare

I have no idea what the pampered look like on this thread, but I totally agree.

the more conventionally beautiful woman try harder to not act that way! To prove they are not just a pretty princess. like myself for example

Hmm I've read this thread and am pretty gobsmacked at some of the behaviour!!!
But some of it I don't think is too spoilt.

I'm pretty spoilt (but still very independent!) and I don't expect anything from anyone!

My partner does 99% of the cooking, but he is a chef and on the times I have cooked it hasent gone down very well!

He will go to the shop sometimes if I want something but i also know when he goes he is having a cheeky fag or 2!

My mum spoils me rotten (I always tell her off when she spoils me and don't expect it at all, she always complains about spoiling me but still does it!)

If we go shopping, or for lunch/dinner, etc she will always pay. Or if I say I need something (in conversation) a couple days later she will have bought it.

My dad will give me a lift anytime I need it, or give me the money for a taxi if he can't drive me. And he will always give me money if I am short.
Again, I don't expect or ask this of him but I think he does it because up until I was about 18 he was a pretty rubbish dad tbh, and I think this is his way of making up for it.

Eating I am younger than you and would be ashamed if I couldn't be trusted with money and be angry if DH (or anyone else) tried to control me by restricting my access to money.

How exactly do you intend to learn how to handle money if you never do? I learnt this the hard way aged 19 when I had to go quite a long time eating only pasta and tinned tomatoes due to overspending. I've never been so irresponsible since.

You might have something there.

I am a massive Diva and frankly look like a dogs dinner.

I make DH pander to me so it keeps him too busy to notice what a baggage I am.

Feminine I was thinking specifically about my morbidly obese stepsister who barks orders at her Jack Spratt husband and has a proper full on meltdown if her nasty fake nails haven't just been done.
I don't think that anyone has got the heart to tell her that when she is the wrong side of 20 stone and dressing with a wanton disregard for her size, literally no one is looking at her nails. But she will not leave the house if her nails aren't covered in tacky crystals and swirly patterns perfect

I never claimed to be a princess. I don't think I've changed my tune at all.

I am giving an explanation as best I can. I fail to see how it impacts you. But you seem to think it does. What someone does in their own time/house/environment is their own business. It doesn't affect anyone except me, DH and my parents. And it doesn't massively impact them to be honest either. I don't expect anything, certainly not from people who are not my immediate family! But never mind you feel it's a problem for you so I will just accept that.

They do an awful lot for me, again I have my reasons for asking them for their help. I am grateful and appreciative and whenever I can I will offer my help to them. This is how our relationship is.

spare

You explained that very well!

I think you have a point.

Last night my dear friend (home for the summer from abroad) and I went to the local. She is staying with her folks, and I was in my folks house (just for last night) - we grew up on the same road.

Her dad gave us a lift to the pub (5 min walk) and while we were there my dad texted me to say it was lashing rain and he was up late watching a film, so if we wanted a lift back, to text him and let him know. We're in our forties.....

Now, that does sound a bit pampered BUT

1. we didn't ask for it or expect it
2. we both do lots of stuff for our families - it is most definitely a two way street (e.g. DF is doing things like helping her folks declutter (attic/garage/wardrobes - a full skip's worth) and I'll drop my parents to the airport, bring my mum shopping or on trips to gardens etc)
3. we are very very thankful for anything they do for us and always try to reciprocate

My objection to those people who take but don't give (and that is what it sounds like, eating/threesey ) is that you are bringing up children who think this is OK and you are releasing them into the society that MY child has to share.

So unless you live in a bubble on the moon, other people will suffer from the example of your spoilt behaviour.

If you choose to live in a community, it affects you, and you affect it .