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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my son he can't take citalopram?

131 replies

PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 11:35

DS is 16 and has suffered with depression and anxiety since childhood. About five years ago I took him to CAMHS and spoke to a doctor who said that the only sensible option would be to put him on citalopram, that his anxiety was so deeply ingrained in his personality it would be the only thing to work. I chose to pursue diet changes, sport therapy, counselling, etc instead. There has been improvement, but he can and has gone right back to square one for any reason. It feels like the anxiety is just there inside him looking for things to fix onto. He can get as agitated about a small thing as he can about a genuine crisis!

He starts college in September and is very frightened, not really eating, not wanting to go out. He wants to go on medication now.

But I'm afraid of putting him on drugs at the age of 16. There is a history of mental illness in my family, and I feel like this is a 50/50 bet. Maybe medication would make him happier and prevent worse problems down the road, or maybe he would become reliant on medication for life, or react badly to it and end up on a slippery slope downwards like other members of my family. I have read about people becoming suicidal/psychotic on these pills.

Any opinions or personal experiences welcome, I just want to do the right thing by him, and I don't trust our local GP, he seems too 'scrip' happy.

OP posts:
YoniRanger · 15/08/2013 11:40

I think he needs to start taking it now in order to have a hope of being stable enough to start in September.

Doctors do not love putting children on medication or giving MH diagnosis. You are very very lucky to have this option.

By all means carry on with alternative therapies as there is some evidence they help however given a choice between intolerable anxiety for life or medication for life I know which I would choose.

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 15/08/2013 11:41

I can see why you're worried, but I think since you tried your way and he's back where he started, maybe it's time to try medication. But can you not go to another GP and get another opinion?

I think if your son wants it, at 16, it's something he could resent hugely if you don't let him, even if your reasons are good ones.

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2013 11:41

What an awful situation Sad

But I feel that age the age of 16, 'you' wouldn't be putting him no these drugs...the doctor would.

"I have read about people becoming suicidal/psychotic on these pills."

That's true, but you will have also read about the same thing happening to mentally ill people who don't get the medication they need.

I'd go back to the GP with him and discuss.

Good luck Thanks

theodorakisses · 15/08/2013 11:41

I too have a family history but unlike you feel that citalopram enables me to live life like normal people. By all means make sure he understands that they are not a quick fix all and educate him about interactions but if you told me I shouldn't be taking it I'm afraid I would call you ignorant and snobbish and smug.
As for depending on it, why care a shiny shit if it gives you a proper life? I depend on all sorts of things, tea, medicines, toilet paper, petrol, who actually cares? I don't mean to sound so rude but this snobbish attitude to psychiatric drugs really, really upsets me. If he were diabetic, he would be able to take you to court for not allowing medical treatment.

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2013 11:42

*on

usualsuspect · 15/08/2013 11:42

He is 16, not a child. I'm not sure you can stop him taking medication which could improve his life.

I know people who take anti depressants and their lives have massively improved.

I don't think this should be in aibu, if you want advice try the mental health boards on here.

LisaMed · 15/08/2013 11:43

Normally I am very pro antidepressants in appropriate circumstances

I'm not sure about this being one of them. I don't want to knock citalopram, I've been on and off it for years and I honestly think it has saved my life, but 16 seems very young.

Two thoughts. How about trying to get a second opinion, especially about other types of ads. See if you can get another GP to talk to him, or if he is seeing a counsellor atm then see what they say.

And also if he really does need it to function then maybe you should look at it as needing insulin like a diabetic. Lifestyle and attitude changes may make it easier to manage the illness, but now and again a crisis may put him back to needing the insulin. However keep the dose as low as possible, and look at as many ways as possible as you can of managing without it. Wishing you luck.

bumblebeader · 15/08/2013 11:43

I have been on a low dose of citalopram for about 6 years and it has changed my life. I suffered from OCD as a result of anxiety all my life. Citalopram is non-addictive. It took about 2 weeks to kick in and one morning I woke up and my heart was not racing for a change. I have suffered absolutely no side-effects. Before I started taking I was sceptical but it was my life-saver.

I'd definitely let him try it.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 15/08/2013 11:44

At 16 I think it's time for him to be starting to make decisions about his health, and his mental health. There's nothing 'wrong' with needing to take medication for your whole life if it allows you live a happy, healthy life surely? Mental health shouldn't be any different.

Footface · 15/08/2013 11:46

I can only tell you from my experience. I've aniexty. Always had it. It's very deeply ingrained, and there is a family history or it.

Initially I went to Valium to get me through some difficult times when I was 20. So not as young as your ds. I was only allowed a 'few Valium' and was given citalopram. I can honestly say that it helped me so much.

I don't know if it was a belief that they would work.or if they genuinely changed my mind a bit, but they enabled me to get on with my life. Don't get me wrong the aniexty is still there but it was under the surface so I could push it back down.

I took them for about 4 years. And then felt I could cope with out them.

I should add I had difficult OCD at the time aswell

At 20 the side effects never occurred to me.

SaucyJack · 15/08/2013 11:47

I don't think it's your choice to make tbh as he's sixteen, and I also think medication can be vaery useful rfor matny people. Actually, particularly for those like your son whose depression appears to stem from a chemical/biological cause rather than traumatic life events.

Having said that, I would be very very very wary of citalopram. I personally have never felt so ill as I did for the three weeks I was stupid enough to take it. Awful stuff IME.

livinginwonderland · 15/08/2013 11:48

Please, let him try citalopram. I've also struggled with anxiety and depression and didn't want to go down the medication route. However, following a near-breakdown at university, I decided that for my own sanity and mental health, I had to try something.

It made the world of difference. I felt so much more in control and stable and it probably saved my life. I totally understand that you're worried about the side-effects, and he may well feel a bit sick and unwell for the first couple of weeks, but at least let him give it a go. Doctors wouldn't prescribe an anti-depressant to a 16 year old without good reason.

Good luck to you and your son :)

theodorakisses · 15/08/2013 11:49

What is this miracle iet that cures depression?

TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 15/08/2013 11:49

I have a DD who has been on ADs for 2 years now, since the age of 14. She suffers from severe anxiety, depression and OCD. She has been having CBT since she started on the medication and is now a very different person. The way it was "sold" to us by the doctors was that her symptoms were so severe that without the medication to calm her down, the CBT was less likely to have an effect as her "bad habits" were so deeply ingrained. In my opinion, everyone is different and therefore everyone's brain is wired a little differently, so not everyone has the "right" amount of chemicals and balances of these. The medication just levels all this out.

DD is now on a lower dose than she was, and hopefully will not have to rely on medication forever, though it will be some years, I suspect, before she is stable enough to do without completely. Even then, there may be times in her life when she feels she needs the help again, but I hope that having been through this she will be more easily able to ask for the help and accept medication if required.

Good luck, OP - living with a child with mental health problems (or anyone, for that matter) is very challenging indeed, not to mention heartbreaking.

theodorakisses · 15/08/2013 11:49

Diet obviously. This thread as made me really, really upset, I can't even type straight.

EldritchCleavage · 15/08/2013 11:50

It might become long-term, but it need not be. Bear in mind citalopram (which I took for 5 years) could help stabilise him and reduce the anxiety to the point where it is easier to do therapy and learn coping strategies. Even to the point where he can come off it later. This why I was prescribed it, in what I admit was a different scenario. I was too ill with depression for therapy alone, and citalopram kept me on an even enough keel to complete talking therapy.

Also, are you really prepared to make him do without it if he and the doctor feel he needs it to cope with this next phase of his life? You say:
He starts college in September and is very frightened, not really eating, not wanting to go out. He wants to go on medication now so he isn't coping already. If college doesn't work out it is going to be a serious knock for him. There are no guarantees, but at least if he does start citalopram you and he know you've tried everything.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 15/08/2013 11:50

I think he def needs some sort of medication......clinicla depression is an inbalance of chemicals in the brain, he needs medical help to settle this down.

However, my DH took citalopram for about 3 weeks but it made him feel strange so he came off it. Personally I think he should have enquired about a different AD but he didn't.

Your DS is 16 now, and the doctor will do what he feels is right - I think you should give it a chance.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 15/08/2013 11:51

He's 16, which in my book is old enough to make certain decisions about his health. You've pursued other avenues already and it hasn't worked. If he wants to try medication, let him.

TheListingAttic · 15/08/2013 11:51

I was started on it three weeks ago. I felt much worse for the first week (which is apparently common) but significantly better now. It sounds as if you have tried other options with only partial success, so might it not be a good idea to try alongside good diet/exercise regime/talk therapy?

I want this to come out right, and not sure how best to word it, but you mention a history of mental health problems in the family - is there anything specific that leads you to link those 'slippery slopes' with medication itself rather than the underlying condition? I was very wary about medication but it has made a real differences so far - although I guess it's early days so not sure how far that addresses your concerns.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 15/08/2013 11:51

Actually, I think you are doing a massive disservice to him if you don't let him take the AD's.

grumpyoldbat · 15/08/2013 11:54

I understand your concerns but if taking medication is what is required to be well then it's worth it.

Perhaps it won't be for life. Nobody likes the idea of taking medication for life but it's preferable to being I'll all the time.

YoniRanger · 15/08/2013 11:54

Ask about Ciprelax, it's expensive but has less side effects.

TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 15/08/2013 11:54

Which diet, theodora? Sorry, I can't see one mentioned, but would be interested as DD has the most appalling diet, and I've often wondered if eating more sensibly would help her. Not that I've had much luck persuading her to do so!

Lanceolate · 15/08/2013 11:56

'Actually, I think you are doing a massive disservice to him if you don't let him take the AD's.'

This. Your way hasn't done enough. He's 16. It's his choice.

MrsWolowitz · 15/08/2013 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.