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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my son he can't take citalopram?

131 replies

PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 11:35

DS is 16 and has suffered with depression and anxiety since childhood. About five years ago I took him to CAMHS and spoke to a doctor who said that the only sensible option would be to put him on citalopram, that his anxiety was so deeply ingrained in his personality it would be the only thing to work. I chose to pursue diet changes, sport therapy, counselling, etc instead. There has been improvement, but he can and has gone right back to square one for any reason. It feels like the anxiety is just there inside him looking for things to fix onto. He can get as agitated about a small thing as he can about a genuine crisis!

He starts college in September and is very frightened, not really eating, not wanting to go out. He wants to go on medication now.

But I'm afraid of putting him on drugs at the age of 16. There is a history of mental illness in my family, and I feel like this is a 50/50 bet. Maybe medication would make him happier and prevent worse problems down the road, or maybe he would become reliant on medication for life, or react badly to it and end up on a slippery slope downwards like other members of my family. I have read about people becoming suicidal/psychotic on these pills.

Any opinions or personal experiences welcome, I just want to do the right thing by him, and I don't trust our local GP, he seems too 'scrip' happy.

OP posts:
TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 15/08/2013 11:56

FYI - DD is on Fluoxetine, rather than the Citalopram you mention. I understand they're quite different.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 15/08/2013 11:57

My db was in a similar situation as a teen, he has been on a low dose of citalapram since he was 16. It has helped enormously and yes in all likelihood he will stay on them for much of his life but I think the alternative is worse.
I have also taken for a short period other past and the difference it made to my anxiety was amazing.

I think it's great you have explored other options I'm a big believer in using diet and exercise as a method of controlling depression and anxiety but sometimes it's not enough. I think your son deserves a chance to try something that could make a massive difference to him.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 15/08/2013 11:58

I was 17 when I first started on anti-depressants, it was Prozac and I felt they really helped, back then.

ouryve · 15/08/2013 11:58

So, the 5 years of doing other things haven't helped him, have they?

He's 16. Let him manage his own health, now. You can not tell him what he can and can't take.

MrsWolowitz · 15/08/2013 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Itsjustafleshwound · 15/08/2013 12:01

I know that anti-depressants take time to work and to also find a dosage that works. I am on ADs and my prescription and MH is checked regularly.

If you feel that the doctor is all too ready to write up prescriptions, then perhaps a second opinion and some way to put some checks in place would be suitable.

It also appears that your alternates to medication are helpful but just not able to keep the anxiety monster at bay.

Sometimes I wish that my brother was diagnosed and helped earlier and might have prevented all the trouble he had.

I hope you find a good compromise that will work for you all.

Freudianslap · 15/08/2013 12:01

I would absolutely let him try the meds.

It is a constant frustration to me that people don't view physical health and mental health drugs in the same light. If he had asthma would you worry about him having to use inhalers for life?

I think your son sounds like he is making a very brave and mature decision. I have worked with many young people who have not wanted to take some personal responsibility for their mental health so I think your son should be commended for making a decision which, in today's society, is really quite difficult.

As for the suicide - there is a LOW risk of worsening of symptoms etc at the start of AD therapy but you can be vigilant for this and obviously the meds can be stopped if there are any problems.

Obviously I don't know your son's symptoms etc but I also wonder whether some CBT may also be beneficial alongside the meds - not straight away but when he is feeling a little better.

Maryz · 15/08/2013 12:02

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

quesadilla · 15/08/2013 12:03

Sorry you are going through this it sounds awful.

I can understand your reluctance but I think you're thinking about it through a fug of misinformation about pharmaceuticals and depression.

There's this idea that treating depression with drugs is wrong and will somehow alter the personality or the patient. In fact people suffering from depression and anxiety often have a chemical imbalance in their brain which drugs like citalopram can help address.

You're right to try counselling, sport, exercise etc but you shouldn't see it as an either/or situation.

From what you say, your son has given these a chance and they aren't helping.

Allowing him to take citalopram may be the best chance he has of stabilizing this brain chemistry and getting on with a normal life.

My DH takes citalopram and they have literally saved his life. With medical supervision they may really improve the quality of your son's.

Your views are obviously strongly held and well thought out but I would strongly recommend you drop this opposition in order to help your son.

Itsjustafleshwound · 15/08/2013 12:04

There is some evidence (UK university on lab rats .... Take from it what you will) that probiotic drinks can reduce the presence of the stress hormone as well as a lower sugar diet.

I will stick to my daily citalopram doss

orangeandemons · 15/08/2013 12:05

I wish wish wish I'd been allowed to take ads when I was 16 and depressed. I felt terrible. I think you are being unfair on him not to let him take them. They could change his life out of recognition.

Oldandcobwebby · 15/08/2013 12:08

As a former user of Citalapram (wonderful stuff) and a parent, I cannot imagine why you would seek to deny your son a beneficial treatment. If he was my son, I would be glad to see him take it and get better.

Your way of doing things has not worked. He needs help, and to deny him that help is, IMO, abusive.

CinnabarRed · 15/08/2013 12:09

Your poor DS has been suffering for more than a third of his life.

He's 16.

He's not coping.

He wants to give medication a try.

Please let him.

pianodoodle · 15/08/2013 12:09

I would try the citalopram. I take them, there isn't an issue with dependency in the same way as some other drugs like diazepam etc... and I think they're fine for long term use as well.

They just help keep you on a level.

Maryz · 15/08/2013 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pianodoodle · 15/08/2013 12:12

It does take a couple of weeks to start working and can have a few side effects that make you feel worse during that time but you need to give it a while for a fair chance.

Also at 16 (and younger) I attended my own doctor appointments etc... I think if he's happy to be prescribed this he really has the final say.

Freudianslap · 15/08/2013 12:12

It's also worth noting that starting medication under the CAMHS umbrella is a much better choice than watching and waiting and then starting meds under adult mental health services.

Generally CAMHS is able to have much closer follow up than adult services because at the moment NHS budgets mean than adult MH is so stretched that they cannot provide the service they want to.

I appreciate that this is a generalisation but it is based on experience of working in both CAMHS and adult MH.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 15/08/2013 12:13

YABU. I am depressed and on citalopram, and my daughter was diagnosed a few months back with depression, she's now 16. Having had experience of how citalopram changed my life, I wasn't keen to push it onto her (and I also felt guilty, as she had basically inherited th predisposition to have it from me) because I was worried about her basically being forced to depend on medication. And yet, at the same time, my son, so much younger, was taking daily medicine too. It brought me to my senses- this is a real illness with a real treatment (well, way of dealing with the symptoms). Lt him choose.

spanky2 · 15/08/2013 12:16

my only concern is that citralopram is a antidepressant for depression and will not help the anxiety. I have depression with anxiety and found it didn't do much for me. I'm on venalfaxine which is for depression and anxiety. When you start taking them it does make the symptoms worse so it would be a good idea to start taking them before going away. I think if he was diabetic you wouldn't question him taking insulin.

Original poster
PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 12:16

Thanks for all your comments, this is all really helpful.

Sorry if this is drip feeding, but he has ASD and he does basically depend on me for decision making, though I do keep trying to encourage independence in him. I can see that it is possible meds could help with this too.

I will take him back to CAMHS to discuss medication with his care coordinator. He has an appointment for next Monday for counselling anyway, I will ask if they could extend it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 12:18

I understand that taking medication for life can be helpful, I take thyroxine for an underactive thyroid. But medication to change how the brain works terrifies me.

OP posts:
YouKnowOfTheCrunch · 15/08/2013 12:19

My dm disapproved of ADs. I was given homeopathic remedies and advice to get out of the house. I was crippled by anxiety for years. Couldn't make phone calls, often couldn't leave the house. It was at the age of 27 that a HV finally persuaded me to speak to a gp.

I went on a really short course of citalopram (I was off it in 6 months and was only ever on the lowest dose) and it changed my life.

I feel physically different. I honestly believe that some chemical imbalance was fixed. Whether it was that or a permanent placebo effect, I don't care.

More than 5 years on I function normally. I get anxious, but to normal levels.

I wish my DM hadn't made me so anti ADs. I wasted so much of my life. I spent uni avoiding things instead of embracing them. Work was a constant fear of having to pick up the phone. Everything was horrible, and you can't explain that to someone who has never suffered from anxiety.

I don't know whether your ds is too young or not. But please do not cut your ds off from a potential source of help.

I know my DM was trying to do what was best for me. But her beliefs made my life so much harder than it needed to be.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 15/08/2013 12:19

But if you think about it logically he needs something to re-wire his brain doesn't he. Let him try it, it could be the making of him. Good luck!

Original poster
PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 12:20

theodorakisses I was talking about a gluten free and dairy free diet. DS was referred to a specialist paediatrician who has had success regulating anxiety, depression, etc in teens using that method.

I can't honestly say it worked all that well. Any benefits that may have been made were cancelled out by his anger and panic that he couldn't eat what he wanted.

OP posts:
Lizzabadger · 15/08/2013 12:21

I think he should give it a go for 6 months and should also access psychological therapy - the combination is best for more severe depression. Encourage him to exercise regularly and eat healthily too.