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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my son he can't take citalopram?

131 replies

PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 11:35

DS is 16 and has suffered with depression and anxiety since childhood. About five years ago I took him to CAMHS and spoke to a doctor who said that the only sensible option would be to put him on citalopram, that his anxiety was so deeply ingrained in his personality it would be the only thing to work. I chose to pursue diet changes, sport therapy, counselling, etc instead. There has been improvement, but he can and has gone right back to square one for any reason. It feels like the anxiety is just there inside him looking for things to fix onto. He can get as agitated about a small thing as he can about a genuine crisis!

He starts college in September and is very frightened, not really eating, not wanting to go out. He wants to go on medication now.

But I'm afraid of putting him on drugs at the age of 16. There is a history of mental illness in my family, and I feel like this is a 50/50 bet. Maybe medication would make him happier and prevent worse problems down the road, or maybe he would become reliant on medication for life, or react badly to it and end up on a slippery slope downwards like other members of my family. I have read about people becoming suicidal/psychotic on these pills.

Any opinions or personal experiences welcome, I just want to do the right thing by him, and I don't trust our local GP, he seems too 'scrip' happy.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 15/08/2013 12:22

YABU.

What is it about the medication that scares you so much? The side effects? Many people don't have any, and those who do find them preferable to not taking the medication.

If he were suffering from a stomach complaint, would you prevent him taking prescribed medication?

As far as I know, Citalopram isn't addictive.

By stopping him having the medication, you are effectively causing him to remain anxious. I can understand why you tried other things when he was younger, but now I think you need to listen to a GP. If you think yours is too "scrip happy" find another one. I bet they advise and prescribe the same thing for your DS.

Lizzabadger · 15/08/2013 12:22

P.S. Citalopram is not addictive, is generally well-tolerated and is not the "slippery slope" to anything.

MrsHoarder · 15/08/2013 12:22

My DB had anxiety problems at that age. So he self-meditated with alcohol then illegal drugs. They will be available at his college and its very likely that if he has depression that is untreated he will take them.

That is worse than taking prescription drugs, illegal drugs aren't tested and controlled in the same way and are far more likely to cause permanent harm.

twolemonsinthefruitbowl · 15/08/2013 12:22

I was put on AD at 11, after an overdose.
You've tried other treatments, now maybe y0u need to look at medication.

Original poster
PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 12:25

I will definitely help DS look into this. I'm taking notes from your posts. I won't ask specifically about citalopram in case something else (like venalfaxine) may be better.

OP posts:
Original poster
PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 12:27

To confirm IWBU. Thank you for helping me see this Smile

OP posts:
Mumsyblouse · 15/08/2013 12:28

I think realistically you can't just expect him to go off to college (even based at home) given his current state of fright and anxiety. He isn't going to suddenly become less anxious given that he's tried all the other avenues. I think given his ASD as well, his anxiety about college and the unknown must be really awful. I don't see how taking AD's can be worse than this, because it's clear he's not going to spontaneously get better anyway. So sorry you are in this stressful situation.

But- also, at 16, if he's ok enough to attend college, surely he has some decision-making capacity if not full capacity, and this needs to be discussed with his other carers/counsellor, I bet they are all supportive.

Lanceolate · 15/08/2013 12:28

I am loathe to say it but I think you need to hear it.

Letting him suffer from (effectively) untreated severe anxiety for 5 years during puberty is much more likely to set him up for long term mental health problems than citalopram. Please let him take the medicine the doctors believe he needs.

Mumsyblouse · 15/08/2013 12:30

Sorry, crossed posts there, glad you are taking the advice. Remember, it's not a one off decision- he may decide not to take it, or may take it and not like it and can come off it or may take it for six months and then come off it. it's not necessarily for life, although given his distress, it could be very beneficial if a long-term solution were found, I hope they work. I also wonder if you have been 'saving' this solution til things are really hopeless, as if this doesn't work it's like admitting that this problem will not go away. For sure it's worth trying though.

LynetteScavo · 15/08/2013 12:30

Letting him suffer from (effectively) untreated severe anxiety for 5 years during puberty is much more likely to set him up for long term mental health problems than citalopram.

This.

I know it sounds harsh, and you have done what you think best, but you now need to let him try medication.

BlazinStoke · 15/08/2013 12:31

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lanceolate · 15/08/2013 12:32

X posts.

I'm not trying to upset you. I'm glad you're reconsidering. I know you've tried everything except medication.

Freudianslap · 15/08/2013 12:33

Citalopram is first line treatment, Venlafaxine is not used in under 18s, it's certainly not a BNF recommendation.

Sertraline may be another option but I really think citalopram is the best option for efficacy and side effect profile.

SaucyJack · 15/08/2013 12:34

Amitriptyline works well for anxiety as well IME, particularly if you have trouble sleeping.

SusanneLinder · 15/08/2013 12:37

Glad you have seen that YABU. I also have a daughter who as ASD and depression. She doesnt take anti-d's at moment, but IMO if a medical professional offered it, I would recommend it. Anxiety and depression is common in ASD people, and I think anyting that helps with that has got to be good.

LookingThroughTheFog · 15/08/2013 12:38

Venlafaxine is a SNRI, and is not recommended for under 25s (it's not to do with weight, it's to do with brain development). The other common one in this group is Mirtazapine, and I can't remember if that one is or not. I agree, don't necessarily state which one you're thinking about, but he's likely to be put on an SSRI (Citalopram, sertroline, fluroxetine etc.). As far as I know, Citalopram is a fairly 'tidy' one, in that it has fewer side effects and problems than some of the others.

JohFlow · 15/08/2013 12:38

At the age of 16 he is deemed competent to make his own decisions in the medical profession. As a parent; it is good to ask questions about the type of medication he could be taking and about possible side effects. It is his choice to take the tablets though. The meds do not correct everything depression/anxiety wise but may put him on more stable ground to cope with life in general and/or to get the best from other therapies. As he has struggled from early on in life - it may that these pills will help correct a naturally incurring imbalance. See it as another thing to try. He will need your continued support. Medication (taken correctly) can be a god-send for some people.

KissMeHardy · 15/08/2013 12:39

I am sorry to say this, but if he was diabetic you wouldn't under any circumstances try to cure him with alternative therapies, would you?

Mental illness is usually down to a lack of chemicals in the brain, or an imbalance.

I have been through this with my son. Please do as the GP/Consultant asks/suggests/recommends.

Original poster
PomBearArmy · 15/08/2013 12:39

I'm not upset, I'm grateful, honestly! I've let this go on too long, but I kept hoping he might naturally grow out of his problems with professional help. But that probably isn't going to happen.

Thanks for the info Freudianslap. I'll note all everyone's advice down and take it with me.

OP posts:
bulletwithbutterflywings · 15/08/2013 12:41

I think you need to allow the GP to advise your son on medication.
As an aside I'm glad to hear Venlfaxine is no longer used for under 18's!

TarkaTheOtter · 15/08/2013 12:41

I took citalopram as a teenager for about a year because of PTSD. It gave me my life back and helped me engage with the other support I was offered (counselling etc).
I haven't taken it since and now am in my 30s.

MiaowTheCat · 15/08/2013 12:44

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 15/08/2013 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ev1lEdna · 15/08/2013 12:48

YABVU I was on something like this before I was 16 - it was far superior to the alternative which involved hospitals. Please don't be scared. I understand why you are, but the chances are this will help him and he obviously needs different help from what you have been giving. Your trying was admirable but now it is time to try something else and give him time to adjust before college.

binger · 15/08/2013 12:48

he's a young lad with his whole life ahead of him. He needs to be allowed to grab it with both hands and if citalopram could help then you should support him all the way.

I went on it a couple of years ago and it changed my life. I am back to my old self but with bells on
my DH really didn't want me to go on them initially and unfortunately I had to reach crisis point before I gained his support - don't let this happen to your son.

I was on them for about 2 years and then slowly came off them
I now easily control my anxiety with beta blockers