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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if I'm the only person on MN who's never had a career?

160 replies

WaitressRose · 15/08/2013 09:51

whenever there is a SAHM/WOHM bunfight discussion, people always talk about how taking time out to look after kids will affect their career.

I've never had a career. Left school after A levels and got a job in an office. It was in the olden days when only a small perentage of population went to university. Worked, earned decent wage, did some travellings, bought own house, met DH and got married.

In my 30s I did a teaching degree but DC came along straight after (not the best planned move but very happy with outcome Smile). So never got to become teacher and don't have desire to be anymore - think having children of my own has put me off other peoples Grin

So anyone else just worked, had a job, earned money without having a career or profession?

OP posts:
SkinnybitchWannabe · 15/08/2013 09:56

Yes me. I never knew what I wanted to do/be when I was growing up.
I got a full time job after failing my A Levels, got married had children and 22 years after starting my job Im still doing it but only part time now.
I go to pay bills..nothing else.
Im abit of a robot when Im at work, really doesnt bother me though, Im too set in my ways to do anything different.

Original poster
WaitressRose · 15/08/2013 09:58

*travelling not travellings Blush

OP posts:
SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious · 15/08/2013 10:00

I got pregnant during A levels, got my A Levels and that's it. I had my son and stayed at home with him.

thebody · 15/08/2013 10:03

career is a posh name for a job.

usually used by a young woman, before children,who actually believes that their work life will be a long and glorious ride to the top of their chosen field.

it usually isn't. 😄

janey68 · 15/08/2013 10:08

Ooh ouch Grin

Not sure a career means we're all desperate to climb the greasy pole.... I prefer to think of a career as when you think in terms of your work life fulfilling other aspects apart from just paying the bills. Eg: providing intellectual stimulation, using specialised skills etc. You don't need to be intent on climbing the ladder to achieve that. I've gained several promotions in my time but am careful not to climb too high in my field because ironically that would move me further away from the really interesting aspects of my work

janey68 · 15/08/2013 10:09

PS- and I'm sure there are many people on here who don't have a career OP. Nothing wrong with having a 'job' as opposed to 'career' ... Working is a fact of life.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 15/08/2013 10:10

I've never had a full time job, and I'm 35 next week. I have no idea how this has happened

WireCat · 15/08/2013 10:10

I haven't & I'm nearly 40.

Feminine · 15/08/2013 10:11

I had what might be classed as a 'career' I did it as a job. I can't do it any more, so I don't have a job or career!

Not the best place to be at almost 42! Grin

Ifancyashandy · 15/08/2013 10:22

My career path HAS been a long and glorious path to the top. I bloody love my career, it's mine, I've worked seriously hard for it and the only person who can balls it up is me.

I love going to work, my field is creative, challenging, intellectually stimulating, fun, funny and well paid. What's not to love?!

Original poster
WaitressRose · 15/08/2013 10:24

Glad it's not just me!

OP posts:
maja00 · 15/08/2013 10:29

Like most people I just have a job! It's an alright job, I enjoy it, but there's not a career path to the top and taking time out isn't going to affect anything.

EarlyIntheMorning · 15/08/2013 10:29

I think a lot of people glorify what they do/have done to make themselves sound better (i.e. comply with what they think it's right). Like my next door neighbour, she'll tell everyone who'll listen that she is a nutritionist. When I dug down deeper (out of interest) she told me that she hadn't quite finished her degree yet and had never worked as a nutritionist because she was waiting for her youngest DS to start reception so that she could finish writing her thesis. She'll be 40 in September.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 15/08/2013 10:34

Me. Did my A levels and went to uni. Hated it and quit at the end of my first year. Moved in with boyfriend, got a well paying (by my standards!) retail job then had 2 dc. Split with their dad, moved to London and went back to uni. Had dc3 halfway through my degree, then ended up back in exactly the same retail job as pre-uni. Left that job due to ill health and wound up having dc4. And here we are! I have bugger all idea what to do with myself once dc4 starts school!

quesadilla · 15/08/2013 10:38

thebody I think that's bit rough. Yes, career can be used to over-glamorize something you do to pay the bills and sometimes the terms are interchangeable.

But for most women of my generation (gen x) it wasn't about a "long and glamorous ride to the top" it was the desire to make yourself economically self-sufficient in order not to have to rely on a man financially. Not self-seeking glamour but practicality.

If there is a distinction between career and job its that a career is something which you can build on and enhance to give you a bit of professional autonomy and value as opposed to a job which is basically having someone else call all the shots endlessly and saying "how high" when they say "jump." If thats what having a career means then I think women are by and large better off for it.

My career or job (whatever you want to call it) has stalled slightly after having my DD and my earnings will dip and I wish I could have taken five years off to raise her before she went to school but at the end of the day I firmly believe I am better off for having worked hard to build a niche for myself.

It means that I will always be able to fall back on something if my OH does a runner or if I get tired of him and want to throw in the towel. Nothing self-aggrandising or vain about that, imho.

MrsTedMosby · 15/08/2013 10:39

Me. I did a pretty useless BTEC, then temp work, before finding a job in travel insurance. Did that job for a few years, for two different companies, before I got married and had my first DS when I was 23.

Was a SAHM till this year when my youngest was 6, and got a job as a TA in their school. Only a temporary contract, but it's the first time I've worked for 15 years. I like earning money!

5madthings · 15/08/2013 10:42

Me neither, I worked part time through my GCSE's and a levels and in the first year of uni then I got preg with ds1 in my second year at uni, took a year out once he was born then finished my degree then had ds2...!then another three, youngest is 2.5 and ds1 turns 14 next week. Once my youngest starts preschool I will volunteer and am debating re training in early years or as a teaching assistant. I am 34.

PGTip · 15/08/2013 10:46

Me, I've never been remotely career orientated. Have worked since I was 13 tho, started with paper rounds ending up in finance and after having 9 years at home will be a TA come September. Still not interested in a career just want a job I enjoy that allows me as much time as possible at home with DCs Grin

Dackyduddles · 15/08/2013 10:47

Career I think means modern vocation eg teaching. It's something you start at level 1 at and work up always in it never leaving etc

I worked in city first as pa, then project sec, then secretarial manager, then hr. no way on gods earth I think I had a career. I had JOBS. Nobody dreams to work in hr. IMO only, unless you were dreaming of it iykwim it's a job.

Dackyduddles · 15/08/2013 10:48

I have a degree. I agree with others I want job to fit dcs. Rest is fluff.

nkf · 15/08/2013 10:49

I get the impression that lots of people on MN have jobs rather than careers.

Dackyduddles · 15/08/2013 10:52

I partly also think its a male marketing construct fed to women in 80's via magazines that we should redefine women as successful if have a career.

Bright ones have careers. Thick ones work on tills. I think some of this running back to a career is because we believe this and think its normal. Not being in work makes you question a lot of stuff.

throckenholt · 15/08/2013 10:56

I am mid 40s. I don't feel like I have had a career. I have done the same job of 15 years - but I didn't actively choose to do it as a career - it was just the best option at the time and nothing better has come up.

From the outside looking in, it may look like a career, but it doesn't feel like it ! Would quite like to be able to say what Ifancyashandy said though.

nkf · 15/08/2013 10:58

I think the reason men spent so much effort keeping women out of the professions was because they knew how great they were. They didn't want to share the good stuff. The cleaning jobs we were welcome to, whether that was in our own home or someone else's.

ksrwr · 15/08/2013 11:00

Me!
i dont have a career, i have a job.
i've been doing the same job since i graduated from Uni age 23.
i'm now 38. i had 8 months off to have dd.
i'm a PA, so a glorified secretary.
i have worked at a few different places, but doing the same job essentially.
its definitely not a career, it is just work, very enjoyable work, but its just work.