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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think: It's summer, why not give the tiger mother routine a break?

71 replies

Cutitup · 13/08/2013 21:08

Dropped round a neighbour's house today who's DD is in my DD's school. She had already done a morning's epic run of taking her 3 kids back and forth to clubs (latin, judo and computer science) and had just returned from the library so her children could learn yet more things. All with classical music blaring away.

I can't keep up! Nor do I want to. It's just weird. (to me).

Why can't we all just enjoy summer without trying to get the kids into the top set in September?

I feel a pressure which I am quite happily ignoring! But it niggles......

OP posts:
DrDance · 13/08/2013 21:12

The classes will not stop for the summer.

They may have being picking up fun books at the library

The music may have been her choice to soothe her Grin

It's not weird if the kids are happy

PoppyWearer · 13/08/2013 21:14

It doesn't sound normal to me, are her DCs not tired and in need of a break?

My DCs are still exhausted and we've hardly done anything!

LingDiLong · 13/08/2013 21:18

Never mind the kids, I want a break from ferrying the kids around to clubs during the summer holidays! I'm gutted that DS's rugby starts back this week, I've been really enjoying following a more relaxed schedule for once.

Maybe the kids enjoy it though? Not all children enjoy chilling out/no structure

JassyAlconleigh · 13/08/2013 21:20

All with classical music blaring away.

What's that got to do with the price of fish? Mine loved classic FM and I am far from a tiger mother!

You sound as though she's making you feel guilty. Do you not have stuff planned for your DC?

JemimaMuddledUp · 13/08/2013 21:21

My DC have been to the library every week during the holidays. They are doing the Summer Reading Challenge. They enjoy it.

They have also variously been to: football coaching, cricket coaching, riding lessons, swimming lessons, karate and drawing classes.

They have been to several museums. They have been to see a Shakespeare play. They have been to see a choir and an orchestra in two separate classical concerts.

They have practiced their musical instruments at least 5 days out of every 7.

They do this because they enjoy it. I am about as far removed from a Tiger Mother as it is possible to be.

As long as your neighbour's DD is happy with it then YABU.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/08/2013 21:22

DD and I love Radio Four and the library. She also does a dance class. Does that make me a tiger mother? I thought I was a feckless benign neglector.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 13/08/2013 21:23

Mmm. I have been wondering since a few weeks ago whether the parents of Amber and Edie-Boo, who flew from stanstead to Toulon performance parenting all the way, are mumsnetters.

In flight entertainment was 'Mysterious Maths' for Amber and a KS1 book of sums for Edie-Boo.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 13/08/2013 21:23

What is wrong with wanting your kids in the top set. Don't we all secretly want this, even if we know it won't always happen?

Maybe she finds it easier to have organised activities for her kids rather than have them mooching about the house all day... Maybe they prefer it too

And what is wrong with classical music.

hiddenhome · 13/08/2013 21:26

Mine are still doing their activities. They enjoy them and are perfectly willing to do them. In fact, ds2 complains if dh skives off taking him to karate.

and

Classical music is preferable to some of the stuff out there atm, complete with obscene lyrics and half naked women Hmm

SaucyJack · 13/08/2013 21:27

Perhaps dribbling in front of the talking noisy box for hours on end isn't her idea of fun?

Even I did the Science Musuem yesterday and the library today, and I barely even bother to change my pants each week.

JemimaMuddledUp · 13/08/2013 21:28

Oh, and they couldn't be in the top set in September however hard they tried as they go to a small village school with only 4 mixed year classes Grin

inneedofsomehelpplz · 13/08/2013 21:30

yabvu & you sound jealous tbh.

CaptainSweatPants · 13/08/2013 21:30

Gawd we're judged for going to the library these days?

Tbh I'd rather judge those who don't take their kids to the library

LauraChant · 13/08/2013 21:32

DS loves maths - he got a KS1 maths book in his Christmas stocking and was over the moon, he took it around with him all the time and was filling it in at a New Year's Party we went to - I did have to point out I wasn't making him do it. He would probably love that as in-flight entertainment.

On the other hand today my two boys didn't take their pyjamas off all day (except to bounce semi naked on the trampoline...) and they don't do any classes. That amount of scheduled stuff would make me and them very tired, but each to their own if the kids enjoy it.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 13/08/2013 21:34

Amber did not love the maths book. She cried most of the way, was offered daddy's iPhone but too cross to play with it, which made mummy (who did have a very nice spotty wrap dress on, I must say) Very Cross.

dandydorset · 13/08/2013 21:35

yanbu op,sound relentless

numbum · 13/08/2013 21:35

'epic run' Hmm 3 children, 3 classes...hardly epic!

Mine prefer to be busy than slouching around on the sofa, but then they can also entertain themselves if I'm busy god forbid I dare to sit down though because I neeeeeeeed to play with them noooooooooow

They helped me clean all through upstairs for three hours earlier today because we did cleaning dance moves to Classic FM Grin

I'm a slave driver mum rather than a tiger mum obviously

Original poster
Cutitup · 13/08/2013 21:36

I'm not jealous. Just lazy.

And I love classical music too.

OP posts:
JassyAlconleigh · 13/08/2013 21:37

I thought I was a feckless benign neglector.

I barely even bother to change my pants each week.

Ladies, we need to up our games. We are clearly shit hot-housing pushing helicopter bastards who are cramming Olympic sailing courses after open-air opera down the poor loves' throats like so many rainy-afternoon home-made nibbles from the Ottolenghi Cookbook.

We should be ashamed.

I'm off for lie down with Einaudi

numbum · 13/08/2013 21:37

Oh can I point out I don't judge if other children like slouching around! I prefer to slouch myself

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/08/2013 21:40

TheOriginalSteamingNit

That wasn't us, but my DS1 took a maths workbook on holiday with him - he chose it as his treat when he got a certificate for working hard in his french class Grin

We are having masses of downtime this summer but DS1's swimming classes are still running and we're fitting in a few extra ones. I took them both to a music class this morning, they've been excited for weeks.

Really can't see what is wrong with children being interested in things and not wanting to drop that over the summer. We're still reading every day, again because DS1 is interested and wants to, so that has meant several trips to the library, and he's also doing the reading challenge.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 13/08/2013 21:44

I think one can tell when a child is into something and enjoying it, and I'm sure your Ds was, alibaba... Just this family were pretty perfomancy!

Funghoul · 13/08/2013 21:48

The best bit of summer when I was a kid was the library reading challenge!

rainrainandmorerain · 13/08/2013 21:57

Christ, phone social services. Those poor kids.

OP, if you were happy with your own parenting choices and children's lives, you wouldn't even think about this. And maybe they went to the library to do fun things? Some kids do read for fun, you know.

Don't dress up your own jealousy as concern for other people's children, it's really unpleasant.

MacaYoniandCheese · 13/08/2013 22:03

Some families operate better with a routine and structure, even in the summertime. It's all good, I think Smile.